I Shall Return

I know it's been a very long time since I blogged, but I promise to be back very soon. Making a few changes to this site, and need a bit more time to get the kinks ironed out. In the meantime, feel free to follow me on Twitter @jemelehill, or on Facebook. Thanks for your patience.

May 23rd, 2009

314

Ike And Tina, 2.0

I've resisted posting about the Rihanna and Chris Brown situation because I'm a bit tangled up about it. The reaction to their domestic violence incident has ranged from weak justifications to over-the-top grandstanding. People were floating that herpes rumor hard, as if a) that really had any validity and b) that justified him going upside her head. Some radio stations aren't playing his music, and others are threatening to put CB down forever. I'm just wondering if these same stations are playing R Kelly. Or any of the dozens of rappers who have caught serious cases. If you recall, people were protesting for R's right to pee on teenage girls. And even though DMX is clearly out of his mind, I'm sure his stuff is spinning in rotation somewhere. Jus' sayin'... Anyway, my man Bomani Jones beautifully summed up what's at the heart of this debacle. Both of these artists are prisoners of their images, which is why people can't seem to put what's happened in proper perspective. They are certainly not the first musical artists to engage in fisticuffs. Tina Turner caught ass whippings for two or three decades, and to this day, more than a few of us will argue that Ike deserves to be recognized as a musical genius. When it was discovered that dude from Jodeci was using Mary J. Blige as a punching bag, most of us still banged, "Diary Of A Mad Band," and rocked oversized leather pants. I'm not saying this is right, I'm just saying it happens. Only I predict the consequences for both these artists may be far worse than what we've seen in the past. CB is like a broke version of Michael Phelps (pre-bong). They don't give just anybody a gum commercial. You got to wear pajamas with the feet in them and drink milk and cookies before you go to bed. Rihanna's entire campaign is based off empowering young females. If she decides to resume a relationship with Chris Brown, what kind of credibility would she have? It would be like Beyonce settling for being a baby momma after giving us that "Put A Ring On It" nonsense. In the music world, you are what you sing. That's why we can easily accept bad behavior from flawed artists. Anyway, I'd like people to stop acting like black women just started being domestic violence victims . CB and Rihanna are not a new phenomenon. Although maybe that's the sad part.

Mar 6th, 2009

313

A Little Bitch Vs. Just A Plain Ol' Bitch?

I'm not sure if you've seen the story about Jay Cutler being called a "little bitch" on the Dan Patrick Show. Now while I wouldn't use that particular characterization, I can't say it's not accurate. Cutler lost me when he started bragging on his arm like it was bionic, saying it was better than Elway's. I'm not sure people understand how stupid it was for Cutler to say that. It's one thing to call that shot in Boston. But Cutler was in Denver, where the cardinal order is ... Elway...God...family. That fact that Cutler even went there shows he's immature and insecure. He's not playing in a 16-game skills competition. This is the NFL. Does he think championships are decided by which quarterback can throw a football through a tire? Anyway, the "little bitch" characterization made me think of a very important, societal question. And men, I'm going to need your help on this. What's worse: Being called a "little bitch" or being called a bitch? I ask this because I've heard guys get angrier about being called a bitch, and I've heard guys laugh when being referred to as a "little bitch." Is one supposed to be more comical than the other? Remember when Warren Sapp called Keyshawn Johnson a bitch? See, I thought that was much harsher than what was said about Cutler. Am I right about this?

Mar 4th, 2009

312

Catching Up And Letting Go

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile, but things have been pretty crazy the last few weeks. I've been on the road nonstop, pinging back and forth between Jim Rome Is Burning and First Take, while also working on another project for ESPN.com. But I've been in Tampa the last few days covering the missing boaters tragedy. I've covered other tragedgies before, but this one is the most unique and arguably the most gut wrenching. When I worked in Raleigh I did a piece on this soccer player who was killed in an auto accident, but that's nothing like this. The story of these football players lost at sea has layers. It's complex. Details are emerging about what may happened out on the water and I'm guessing it's providing very little comfort to the family. Nick Schuyler, the lone survivor, reportedly told investigators that Marquis Cooper and Corey Smith willingly took off their life jackets and drifted away because they felt as if they could no longer fight the current. I interviewed Bruce Cooper outside of his son's home on Tuesday morning and the one hope he had was knowing that it wasn't in Marquis' nature to simply give up. His father felt his son was going to fight to stay alive -- no matter what. I can only imagine what he might be thinking now. I should stress that no one knows the full story yet because Schuyler was pretty out of it when the Coast Guard initially talked to him. Schuyler has been continually treated for mild hypothermia, bruises and swelling, so I don't know if investigators have been able to interview him completely. Based off my own experience with death -- both personally and as a reporter -- I know the most frustrating thing for people who are grieving is when you don't feel like you have all the answers. To some degree, you never do. But in this case, there are so many unanswered questions, I'm thinking it may take some time before any real closure sets in. When I interviewed Will Bleakely's father, he kept returning to the fact that his son chose to leave the boat and swim for help. It was very obviously eating him up inside and I empathized with him. Bob Bleakely was in the Navy five years and Will always has been comfortable on the water. And one of the boating edicts is that if something happens, you never leave the boat because it's your best chance to be rescued. Knowing Will left the boat might haunt Bob Bleakely forever. How could it not? He'll always think about what might have happened if Will had never left the boat. He admitted to me he had moments of weakness where he found himself getting angry at Will for making such a decision. Anger is a completely normal emotion in the grieving process, but it doesn't make it any easier to go through. As a reporter, our job is to stay objective, but I'll bet anyone covering this story hopes the families are able to get the answers they need. I also couldn't help but put myself in the boaters position. I imagined myself on that water, trying to survive. I don't know what I would have done in that situation. Would I have given up or found a way to survive? Most of us walk around not knowing what we're really capable of, or how we might respond if our lives were in danger. I've gotten e-mails and read comments from people who seem entirely too confident of how they'd behave in a crisis, but the reality is, you just don't know. This missing boater story is one that makes you hope you never do.

Mar 4th, 2009

311

Way To Go, Chuck

I'm not sure how many of you caught Charles Barkley's return to TNT, but if you didn't, you missed a great lesson in honesty and humility. Full disclosure: Last year, I wrote a column about my dislike of LeBron James' Vogue cover and Charles Barkley called me out for it. He also referred to some of my colleagues as "idiots." In a weird way I was honored that Barkley had paid attention to something I'd written. Even though, I thought he was wrong. I'll admit to having a private chuckle when Barkley was arrested for DUI. It was, however, a short-lived chuckle because lest I forget the charring I took over the Hitler comment. But the way Barkley explained himself tonight was exemplary and if I were Alex Rodriguez, I'd hire Barkley to script all of my upcoming come-to-Jesus press conferences. One thing I learned from my controversial situation last summer -- and it was reinforced watching Barkley -- is that when you mess up, people don't want to hear excuses. Providing context is one thing. But you've got to own it. You've got to reveal your shortcomings and failures. The reason Barkley's apology on TNT was so moving is that he was able to connect his situation with ours, which allowed us to see how many of us can easily wind up in the same situation. Most people have driven drunk. Barkley not only acknowledged this, but what he said hit home. Many people think they're OK to drive when they aren't, and Barkley called himself out for being one of those people. It was the kind of insight we rarely see from professional athletes -- either former or current. A-Rod's press conference was disastrous because he failed to connect with us. Most people idolize A-Rod for his athletic ability and he did a piss-poor job of capturing the people who were looking to give him a break. All of us have made mistakes. Most of us are still making mistakes. Many of us have made sacrifices and done unethical things simply for preservation. Or, just for greed. All A-Rod had to say was this: "I took steroids because I thought it's what I had to do to survive. The culture in my own clubhouse and in baseball was to do what you have to do to survive. I know that doesn't make it right, but I feared that the other players who were taking performance-enhancing drugs would bypass me." Very few people out there can say they would not have been tempted to take performance-enhancing drugs, if they were in A-Rod's situation. We've all felt pressure in our lives, whether we're playing third base for the Yankees or working the fry machine at Wendy's. We understand what it's like to feel as though your livelihood is threatened, but A-Rod never connected the populace to that feeling. We don't care about your cousin, about you being poor at one time in your life, about you not going to college, or about your divorce. Those elements don't make people empathize with you. In fact, it makes them resent you for your inauthenticity. The reason Barkley has enjoyed a wide berth of forgiveness is because he has an everyman quality. We see many of his shortcomings in ourselves. We may not have gambled as extensively as Barkley, but I won't lie, I've spent a bit of time at the tables before, too. And probably have driven when I shouldn't have. I guarantee Barkley's plea with people to be careful when drinking will resonate more than A-Rod's promises to help educate kids about steroids.

Feb 19th, 2009

310

A Pet Peeves List

I've got one of those minds that never shuts off. Could be because of my addiction to 5-hour Energy. Could be that I'm just weird like that. Lately, I've been cataloging my list of pet peeves. Here's what I've come up with so far: - I believe in iPod etiquette. A lot of young people do not. I see them wearing iPods at dinner, the movies, and amusement parks. Why would you take an iPod on a roller coaster? You need a soundtrack to your screams? - I am put off by people who treat pharmacies like grocery stores. I don't mind if they pick up a few items. But yesterday I was in Walgreen's and this dude had a buggy that was loaded down like it was a serious shopping trip. He had to have spent at least $100, maybe more. Now wouldn't it have been more cost-efficient and simpler to go to the grocery store? And you know pharmacy checkout lines are not exactly equipped to ring up 30 items. I've been in a pinch before and had to buy groceries in a pharmacy, and it's never pretty. You're familiar with the brands at the grocery store. You have your Tropicana and Starkist. It's not that way at the pharmacy. They have these weird knockoff brands like 'Nouveau' milk or 'Hot Magic' eggs. - I've got a love-hate relationship with Wal-Mart. I love their prices. I hate their store. The store is organized in a way that makes zero sense. In one aisle, you'll have tube socks, cereal, motor oil and HD-TVs. And it always looks as if an elephant came sprinting down the aisles. They're often disheleved and messy. - I detest MySpace and hate that I ever started an account. Too much solicitation. I don't want to hear your music. I don't want to buy your CD. And unless I know you personally, I don't want to come to your party. Stop soliciting me! - Follow-up: People who try to mack you on MySpace drive me crazy. Now I realize this goes on at Facebook, but it's not nearly as common (at least not for me). But on MySpace, a guy will come across your profile, see your picture, and send you a friend request because your picture appeals to him on some level. And, with full seriousness, they try to begin some sort of "relationship." Are you kidding me? Call me old fashioned. Call me a prude. I just know that when I'm asked how I met my significant other, I never want to begin the story with: "Well, he came across my MySpace profile..." - I want to rip my skin off when people clank their silverware against their teeth while eating. Most times I manage to ignore it, but there are certain times where the sound is so acute that I grit my teeth. Just thinking about it is making me grit my teeth right now. - Let's talk about basic, gym etiquette. Can't stand it when people don't wipe the machines down after they're done. That's just nasty. - I'm slowly turning into one of those people who doesn't enjoy talking on the phone, and as a result, I'm becoming annoyed with people who call me and say things they could have easily texted. That's bad, isn't it? In our age of advanced communication, I think telephone calls should be reserved for lengthy, purposeful conversations, not b.s. chit-chatting. Like, if you're calling me to tell me you bought a new outfit...well, that's text-worthy, not phone-call worthy. It works in reverse, too. Don't send me 45 consecutive text messages explaining how you caught your man cheating. See, that requires a phone call. Be clear on the rules. Text messaging is for conversations that, if it were held on the phone, would be eight minutes or less. If you call me, it should be a conversation worthy of at least 10 minutes or more. In fairness, I'll also have to blog about things I do that annoy other people. For example, I'm a chronic texter. That wouldn't be so bad if I didn't text while talking to people, or while out socially wiht other people -- behavior I'm sure people find annoying. I even annoy myself with it, but I'm too addicted to stop.

Feb 16th, 2009

309

A Word, Please

I'm not one for Internet catfights, but I've recently become aware of a certain blog that called me out because of what I said about Michael Phelps on First Take on Monday. I'm not going to link to the blog. If you want to search for it, you can find it. But here's the backstory: A blog has accused me of being a hypocrite because I said on-air that Phelps needed to grow up and was stupid for getting caught up in Bong-Gate. To illustrate my alleged fraudulency, this blog posted a picture from my Facebook page of me and my best friend at a New York City bar in 2007. I had a beer in my hand and was making what I affectionately refer to as my Alice Cooper Face (tongue out like rocker). This blog also quoted excerpts from a recent interview I did, where I jokingly refer to Matthew Berry's liver as "unflappable." Berry and I have attended a few parties together and I kid with him like that because he's a terrific guy and one of my favorite people at ESPN. I guess this blog believes they are turning the tables on me, showing that I, too, partake in partying and am hardly in position to sit on my throne and judge Phelps. But they seem to have forgotten a few key things: 1. I'm over 21. Last time I checked, beer isn't illegal. I'm allowed to indulge in alcoholic beverages in a responsible way. Now maybe I could see their point if I were imbibing in a way that showed me to be sloppy and out of control, but that was far from the case. That's why I posted it on my page. (Although I am wondering who screen-grabbed it. Maybe it's time for me to weed out some FB friends.) 2. I have not won 14 gold medals. I did not host Saturday Night Live. I am not the face of any sport. My "celebrity" is barely above minimal. If you have any doubt of this, you should have seen me begging my way into Super Bowl parties last week. 3. I don't have millions of endorsements nor am I beholden to a bevy of corporate sponsors. Of course I have a responsibility to ESPN, and there are certain moral expectations when I am not "on duty," of which I've followed. 4. I have never been caught ON CAMERA doing something illegal. When someone can reproduce a photo of me toking from a bong -- and trust me, they never will -- then I'll gladly do the walk of shame. 5. I don't market myself as Ms. Wholesome. I market myself as a real person. Phelps, on the other hand, has built his image around the wholesome, Olympic ideal. Nothing wrong with that, if that's how you make your bread. I'm not saying he's got to live like a priest, but if you take the millions that image has brought you, there will be certain expectations. 6. I never said Phelps should be banished from the Earth and forced to live as a hobbit. I never said he shouldn't be forgiven. I never said they should take his medals away. But dude already has a DUI under his belt and now this incident. It exposes a troubling pattern. That's clear. 7. I don't care if athletes party. Go to a strip club. Go to a bar. Do you. But like the rest of the adult world, there are responsibilities that come with that. 8. I didn't criticize Phelps because he's white. Now obviously this blog either forgot or didn't care that I stuck up for Matt Leinart. I thought people grossly overreacted to those photos of him partying at his house. He was at his home and should be allowed to drink and hot tub with whoever he pleases. The only reason Leinart didn't get a pass is because a lot of people consider him a NFL bust. I found that to be unfair and hypocritical. Now let's keep it real on Phelps: The public is supporting Phelps because they like him. I must have heard 100 times, "it's only weed" or "he's just 23." I could be down with those arguments if Phelps hadn't been through this before. He's apologized to the public BEFORE. He's promised to not engage in stupidity BEFORE. Besides, Phelps is not your average 23-year-old. He's been living in the spotlight long enough to know there are certain situations you can't put yourself in. You have to be smarter because you have more to lose. If you are as famous as him, you can't attend random house parties on college campuses and allow yourself to be photographed sucking on a bong. You can call me a stick in the mud, but that's irresponsible. My other pro-Phelps argument is, "Phelps isn't the only athlete who smokes weed." Very true. But I'm reminded of that SNL skit that was done clowning Michael Vick after he was busted for having weed remnants in his water bottle (did you give him the "it's only weed" pass?). Can't remember who said it, but the SNL update guy said they knew people who smoked weed every day that weren't stupid enough to try to sneak weed through airport security. I'd say the same to those who believe Phelps is being unfairly singled out for doing something a lot of other athletes do. Had Phelps been a NBA or NFL guy, he would be getting crucified and called a "thug." In fact, I just saw an item about how Allen Iverson dropped 50 large at a casino and based off the reaction, you would have sworn he held up the casino. Newsflash: AI has probably made $200 million, so 50K to him is like $10 to the rest of us. If AI wants to double down, so what? He did it legally and if you just hate the fact that he can trick off that kind of money, you need to rub your ears and say, "woosa." Am I trying to make a racial comparison? Yes and no, but you have to admit, black athletes seem to face more widespread condemnation when they get into trouble. I'm still amazed at how people continue to excuse John Daly's dangerous, idiotic behavior. Whenever I write or say a negative word about Daly, I get a string of emails telling me to get off his back and haven't I ever made mistakes? Why do I think I'm so perfect?...blah, blah, blah. No, I'm not perfect, but I'm also not walking around smoking squares with a gallon of Crown Royal hanging out my back pocket. Charles Barkley is another one who seems to have a lifetime free pass. Most people laughed off his DUI charge and when he said he had gambled away millions, he got applauded for his honesty. Different rules for different people. That's life. We're not all famous, but there's a certain standard we all have to adhere to. But don't label me an irrational hater. And bringing my Facebook photos into the Phelps argument was just weak. Oh, I guess I should also mention this same blog called me out for criticizing Danica Patrick for her godaddy Super Bowl ads. They insinuated I hate DP because she's thinner than me. That's right, I'm kept awake and seething by DP's 85-pound body frame. Look, DP lost me when tried to be a badass on the track and shoved Milka Duno. That was bush. And at this point, people know her more for her looks than her victories. That's a problem because when she first got on the racing scene, she said she was about the driving, not about being a sex symbol. Hey, make your money girl, but it's a fine line to walk. Best-case scenario is when you have the hardware AND the looks.

Feb 3rd, 2009

308

More Super Bowl Deleted Scenes: The Saturday Night That Stunk

I'm usually pretty good at scouting out Super Bowl parties, but man did I whiff big time on Saturday night -- which is supposed to be the signature night for partying at a SB. Playboy usually throws their party on Saturday, but Hef decided to sit this SB out. We'll see if I can forgive him for that because this SB Saturday night was bordeline awful. The plan was to attend Diddy's party at the Venue and then fall into something later. But before heading to the Venue, we hit the duPont Registry because my man, Matthew Berry, said that was the spot for Diddy's private, pre-party dinner. The dinner was from 8 to 10 p.m., and we got there a little after 9:30. For those that haven't heard of the duPont registry, it's a place that offers luxury autos, homes and yachts. duPont's party took place inside their car showroom. So we nibbled on lamb and drooled over the Aston Martins and Lambos. Very she-she. As I've found with many purported exclusive events, it never is what they say it is. In this case, they just rolled out a few carving stages and a couple bars for their big-money clients. I guess because Winky Wright worked the room, it was exclusive. They made it seem like Diddy was going to be asking you to pass the salt and, of course, Diddy never showed. duPont only was a mile or so from Diddy's party. We left at 10 p.m. because word was the party was going to get smashed with people and we didn't want to wait too late (Note: a key to Super Bowl party navigation is showing up when there is likely to be the least amount of problems. On this night, that wasn't the case for me.) Berry finagled himself and his three friends onto Diddy's guest list a few hours before the party. I've got to give him props. Berry has a lot of juice in the party department. He knows everybody and he's just got that gift of gab. He's good for showing up at a spot, dropping his name and getting in. That's just how Talented Mr. Roto rolls. So as Berry and his homies are being ushered down the red carpet, I'm getting hassled at the media table. I credentialed myself for the event because I was covering the scene for my annual party column. I was then told I was only going to be allowed red carpet access, which was a huge problem. I don't do the red carpet, especially not when it's 30 degrees outside. I like to catch the sights and scenes of a place. I want to be inside when some celeb starts dancing on the table, and see who gets into what. And how can you tell if a party is really good unless you're in there? You can't. For a good 35-40 minutes, me and the PR people have a battle of words. PR Dude is trying to tell me that he said in advance it would be red carpet access only. He didn't and I showed him his email to prove that. Then he hits me with the typical-club bullshit excuse: We just can't let that many people in because of fire hazards. Nevermind that they're still trying to sell tickets to this event for $700. PR Dude claims he'll get fired if he lets me in, which I found laughable. He also says they had to turn away Adrian Peterson because he had a guest. Yeah, and I'm a smurf. At this point, my Significant Other is getting irked because PR Dude is being rude. In fact, my SO even told him that and I had to play peacemaker a bit on that front. I'm texting Berry, hoping he can work some magic. He comes outside and gives it a valiant effort, but they're still stonewalling.. As I'm standing there arguing with PR Dude, athletes who I've got a relationship with are coming over and saying hi and seeing what the problem is, seeing if they can help. PR Dude is still refusing to let me in and saying that if I can find an email where he says I have access inside the party, he'll give me VIP status in the club. Homie, it ain't that deep. Finally, Deion Sanders, whose name is on the party, rolls up. I met Prime at last year's Super Bowl. He came up to me and told me how much he enjoyed my work on ESPN, which I appreciated because he was one of my favorite athletes growing up. Deion sees me, gives me a hug and tells PR guy to let me in. "She's like family," Prime says. PR Dude was still babbling some shit about how he still had to check with his boss. Me, I wanted to leave. I don't have an ego, but I'm just not the one to be begging my way into places. It feels uncomfortable and why go somewhere they don't want to let you in? At this point, I'm thinking I'll roll to the Penthouse party because at least I'll be shown a little more love there. The Penthouse PR woman loves me because the 2009 Pet Of The Year, Taya Parker, is in love with Mark Schlereth. I gave Parker Schlereth's email and she was eternally grateful. Before any rumors get started, I gave her the e-mail with his permission, of course. Schlereth is a happily married man. Parker told me she does think he's hot, but she's a big Steelers fan and loves him mostly as a analyst. OK, back to the PR Dude. Finally, after all that unnecessary wrangling, he gives us some bracelets and escorts us into the party. When you have an experience like that before you enter a club, it immediately sours you on the entire party. But I really tried not to be that way. My bad experience getting into the party had nothing to do with what was happening inside. I wanted to judge the party based on who was inside, the music, food, drinks, etc. I'll be honest: The party was sorta wack. When an outfit is charging $700-$1350 to get into a place, you expect something special and different because that's why they're charging you a mortgage payment. It was billed as being opulent and decadent. It wasn't. With that price tag, only a select group of people can afford to get in there. And the average partygoer in there was an older white man, or a silicone-infused, older, white woman. The party organizers made sure the athletes had some younger women, but cougars dominated. I was there until almost 1 a.m., and just never felt the energy of the place. They kept saying Diddy was there, but I never saw him. Some people were wondering if he ever showed up. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. We left to go to Penthouse. I went to their party last year and it was very disappointing. Best celeb I saw was the black dude from 40-year-old Virgin. Other than that, it was a lecherous old-man convention. This year's gig was at The Penthouse Club. I expected a little bit what I saw last year. What I did not expect was an actual strip club instead of a party. Penthouse brought in the Pet Of The Year to essentially do an appearance at a strip club. Terrible can't even describe it. Have you ever seen The Players Club with Ice Cube? Yeah, that was this spot. The owner of the club tried to tell me that Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian were coming through and I'm thinking if they're coming through here, then they must really be hard up. No pun intended. I'm not anti-strip club or anything, but this spot was grimy and seedy. I've been to good strip clubs and this wasn't one of them. It was a strip club with no pole. It was a strip club with bad, uncoordinated strippers. I mean, how can you be a strip club and not have a pole? The owner said he didn't have pole because it added a touch of class. Seriously. So to sum up the night: I went to a wack party, and an even wacker strip club. The highlight of my night was the Taco Bell we got on the way back to the hotel. Worst Super Bowl Saturday ever. Thanks, Hef.

Feb 1st, 2009

307

Super Bowl Deleted Scenes

The last few years I've covered the Super Bowl parties. A lot of people are surprised that I have this assignment, since I attempt to pass myself off as somewhat of a serious sports writer. This is my fourth Super Bowl and I've largely discovered that, from a strictly sports perspective, the SB is one of the more overrated and exasperating experiences. There comes a point where you can't say anything new about either team in the Super Bowl. There are no new strategies. For two weeks, you're just recycling and repackaging information. The fascinating aspect of the Super Bowl is the social scene. There aren't many sports-related events that would draw P. Diddy, John Travolta and Bruce Springstreen. The inside story of the SB is drinking, debauchery, random hook-ups, talking your way into celebrity parties and VIPs. Anyway, I do a party column every year, but there's always a lot of leftover that doesn't have a place in the column. So I decided to post that here because it's usually pretty damn funny. So I present some "deleted scenes" of the Super Bowl. Coolest person I've met this year: The great thing about SB is you come into contact with people you'd never otherwise meet. On Wednesday night at the Moves Magazine gig, I met Jenn Sterger,who many a male friend has referred to as "the hot chick from Florida State." She was great. And not just because she said she was a fan of my work or because she let Matthew Berry paw her. She's super nice and truly knows sports. In fact, we're rolling to Friday night's Maxim party together. My dorkiest moment: I've become horribly addicted to fantasy football and I'm realizing my addiction is causing me to become Stalker Fantasy Nut. So I see DeAngelo Williams at the Moves party and instead of introducing myself like a sane person, I say, "Holy shit! I traded for you and made the fantasy football playoffs! You're the shit." Kinda wish I could have that moment back. A funny line: When Kim Kardashian came into the Moves party, my significant other said: "I see Kim Kardashian in the V.I.P, but I think her ass is still on the red carpet." A funny line, part II: "If I wanted to stand around with seven guys talking to one girl, I would have stayed in Bristol." -- A well-known ESPN TV personality. A funny story from Thursday night's Madden Bowl party: I was talking with Michael Smith from Around The Horn, who was sucking up to me for mentions in the party column. I gave Mike major crap because three women (a black, Latino, and Asian woman -- and trust me this is a pertinent detail) were following him around at one party. He's a happily married man, so it wasn't like that. Anyway, Mike was telling me that an well-known NFL player texted him late, and said, "Yo Mike, I want the Mexican one." That alone is funny. What's funnier is that as soon as Mike repeated the line about the player wanting the Mexican woman, someone leaned over and said, "Did you just say you wanted a Mexican?" And that's how rumors get started. But I've already sent in some party stuff to the mothership, which should post soon. Once it does, I'll post it here, but I'll also keep you updated on what's going on.

Jan 30th, 2009

306

Kay Yow, 1942-2009

My first job out of college was covering women's basketball for the News & Observer -- which some of the locals nicknamed the News & Disturber -- in Raleigh, North Carolina. In 1997, Raleigh was something of a women's college basketball hot bed. There were three huge women's programs -- UNC, Duke and N.C. State. All were ranked. All were fighting to win the ACC. The coach of N.C. State was Kay Yow, who died Saturday morning after a long, courageous battle with breast cancer. Kay intimidated me from the moment I met her. I was inexperienced and had never covered women's basketball. And I think she could tell. I only knew what most people did -- Tennessee and Connecticut. Kay was the first, big-time coach I covered. And even though in women's basketball the teams, coaches and players need the media more than the media needs them, Kay did not take it easy on me. For one, she had this raspy, authorative, Southern drawl. And every time she talked, I just felt like I should do 100 push-ups. She was "aw shucks," but hardcore. Even though she gave me a hard time occasionally, I respected Kay because a) she was a great coach b) she didn't want to be pitied because she had breast cancer and c) she was a fierce competitor and extremely protective of her players -- though she didn't take any crap from them, either. I appreciated covering Kay because she made me step my game up as a reporter. I was inexperienced when I first began the beat, but by the time I left the beat nearly two years later, I knew everything about women's hoops. I learned the league, the game, the players, recruits -- everything about N.C. State women's basketball. Because I knew if I didn't, she'd look at me like I was stupid -- which I'm sure she did about 78 times in my first couple weeks. And it was because I covered Kay that I got to attend my first national event as a reporter. In 1998, the Wolfpack finally reached the Final Four -- Kay's only trip in her 34 years as head coach. I feel honored to have been there now. Over the years, I certainly noticed how much she changed physically. When I covered her, she had brown hair, eyes full of life and a purposeful stride. The person I remembered, though, began to ebb when her cancer returned during the 2006-07 season. I saw a photo of Kay before she took a leave of absence and she looked nothing like the person I knew. Her hair was white and she seemed weary. Tired. But, of course, not afraid. I guess if you stay in this job long enough, the people you meet and develop relationships with eventually begin to slip away. I used to think the worst thing about sports writing would be when the children of the people I covered began to develop their own sports careers. I didn't want to feel old. This, as you might imagine, is 1,000 times worse. You don't meet that many coaches who do things the way they should be done. Correction: You don't meet that many people who do things the right way. You hardly meet anyone with Kay's integrity, spirit and grit. She was tough, but fair. She could relate to a gas station attendant just as well as she could a five-star recruit. She was genuine. And I will miss her.

Jan 24th, 2009

305

Tim Tebow Is Great, But Not Top-5

Predictably, the media began a full-on slobber job on Tim Tebow moments after he collected his second national championship. For the record, I'm not a Tebow hater. Far from it, in fact. When I worked at the Orlando Sentinel, I went to Tebow's high school and did a huge story on Tebow. I went to church with him and his family. It's a lot of athletes who are fake Christians, but I'd never put Tebow in that category. He's the real deal. Football-wise, he and Colt McCoy are the two-most valuable players in college football. Tebow is marvelous player and has an astounding will. He's earned his position as the most coveted player in college football. But let's keep everything in perspective. To say that Tebow is one of the five-best players in college football history is just preposterous. Just because Tebow has two 'ships and a Heisman, that doesn't mean he's top-5. For one, people seemed to already have forgotten that Tebow was a role player when the Gators won their first BCS championship. The starting QB was Chris Leak, who was definitely the MVP of that game. So stop giving Tebow credit for engineering two titles, when he really was the driving force for just one. Sometimes, hardware can inflate the reputation of a player, leading to complete overhype and undeserved credit. Case in point: Robert Horry and Steve Nash. Nash has two MVPs and I've heard people foolishly argue that Nash is one of the five-best point guards in NBA history. Are you serious? Magic has one more MVP than Nash and the difference between Magic and Nash is as wide as Star Jones' former waistline. Isiah Thomas may have been a shitty executive, but he deserves healthy consideration for top-5 all time. Zeke never won a MVP. Neither did Jason Kidd or John Stockton. But aren't they all better than Nash? I believe so. Horry has seven NBA titles, so does that mean he should be mentioned in the same breath as Michael Jordan and Bill Russell? Never. Horry isn't even a Hall of Famer. He's never dominated at his position and for his career, has averaged seven points per game. When I watch Tebow, I see a terrific college player, but is Tebow as electrifying and dangerous as Vince Young? Is Tebow as dynamic as Barry Sanders? Even if he does win another Heisman, would you really say that his talent and impact are on par with Bo Jackson or Herschel Walker? What about John Elway, Deion Sanders or Earl Campbell? Reggie Bush? Michael Vick? C'mon, Tebow ain't close. Tebow's most dynamic quality is his leadership, but sorry, you need a lot more than that to make an all-time top-5 list in college football. As mobile as Tebow is, it's not like anyone holds their breath whenever Tebow touches the ball. As a runner, he's a slimmer version of Jerome Bettis, a burly, goal-line scorer. Those other great players I mentioned were feared and possessed freakish athleticism. It's not like Tebow is juking people out of their cleats and a threat to run for 20-25 yards every time he's given the ball. Tebow isn't even the best athlete on his own team (Percy Harvin). So let's chill with the hyperbole. Just because you win all the accolades, that doesn't mean you're the best to ever play. Just ask Jack Nicklaus.

Jan 12th, 2009

304

What Happened To McDonald-land Cookies?

Now that we're in this age of healthier -- which really is a fallacy considering most Americans look like they're smuggling two small kids in their gut -- I notice that fast-food places are trying to keep up with the trend by replacing old favorites with allegedly consumer-friendly healthier options. I hate this. I think it's Communist. I think it sucks. I don't go to fast-food places often, but when I do go, I want it to be the same, crappy, fulfilling fast food I had when I was 10. When I go to McDonalds, I want McDonalds. I want some greasy-ass, doublecheeseburger that I'll regret eating three hours later. I want hot-ass fries loaded with heart-attack-diabetes-inducing salt. I want an extra-fried chicken sandwich, loaded with everything I'm not supposed to have. I want hard-ass McNuggets. I also want McDonald-Land cookies. But the McDonalds of 2009 is uppity. Yeah, they brought back the McRib. But I went to a McDonalds recently and they had fruit slices and milk with Happy Meals. Fruit slices and milk? What happened to the Happy Meals with cheap-ass toys and delayed heart disease? If I were a kid and my mother took me to McDonalds and made me get fruit slices with milk, I'd run away from home. That's the thing. Kids used to know that if they were going to Mickey D's, they were going to get something slimy, but satisfying. That was the whole appeal. Now, parents are happy to take their kids to McDonalds because they can now get chicken and turkey wraps, which is freaking criminal. I could deal with a few changes, but they've definitely gone too far by eliminating McDonald-land cookies. Instead they serve these chocolate chip cookies, 3 for $1. It's fine if you add that to compliment the McDonald-land cookies, but you don't just take the McDonald-land cookies away! McDonalds has cappuchino and lattes. What happened to just regular-ass orange soda and too-sweet ass Coke? What happened to stale-ass coffee that could cause a second-degree burn? Mickey D's has strudels and Wi-fi. Oriental chicken salads with fruit slices and walnuts. This ain't McDonalds. This is a cafe. I don't want my McDonalds to be a cafe. If I wanted a cafe, I'd go to Starbucks. If I wanted an Oriental chicken salad, I'd go to Crisper's or Sweet Tomatoes. If I wanted freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies, I'd go to Mrs. Field's. I want cookies that are like animal crackers, 12 in a bag. I want gas-inducing burgers and cashiers with long nails and bad weaves. I want a store manager whose in the 11th grade. I want special sauce, not low-fat ranch. I don't want a wrap. I want triple cheeseburger. This new McDonalds is hate-able, un-American and unrecognizable.

Jan 6th, 2009

303

Lil' Wayne Visits ESPN

A lot of people have very strong opinions about Skip Bayless, but for whatever reason, rappers love him. Maybe they sense that lurking beneath those perfectly starched shirts is a man brimming with street cred. Maybe because they think he's a perfect verse over a tight beat. I can't explain it. It is what it is. And it just so happens of Skip's biggest fans/sometimes adversaries is Lil' Wayne, who visited Bristol today to do First and Ten and get drug through the ESPN car wash (he also did a live chat, some thing with Lou Holtz and some other ESPN-related things). My appearance on First and Ten was sandwiched in between Lil Wayne's, giving me the opportunity to meet the man whose album, Tha Carter III, was nominated for eight Grammys. I'm officially putting Wayne in my He-Can-Do-No-Wrong club (Donovan McNabb also is a member). Dude was unbelievably fantastic. He is seriously knowledgeable about sports. He's not screwing around. And I've got to give him his props. He's friends with a lot of athletes, but he doesn't hold back giving his honest opinion about their abilities. Or lack thereof. For example, he killed the Titans on-air, even though he's tight with both LenDale White and Chris Johnson. Wayne said they were going to get "punched in the mouth and cry and go home." Great stuff. Other Weezy-related highlights: - Everyone texted me calling bullshit on Skip listening to Wayne, or any rap. It's not b.s. Skip really does listen to rap, and he thoroughly digested Tha Carter III. Skip and I had a 25-minute conversation about it, because he was so impressed that Wayne went after Al Sharpton. Anyway, the best on-air moment of the day was when Skip told a national television audience his favorite song on the Tha Carter III was the 'Monster.' For those that have the That Carter III, y'all know the real title of that song. Classic. - Weezy joined a public fantasy football league on ESPN.com and won it. Nobody in his league has a clue who he really is. But next year, he's joining a fantasy league that has me, Michael Smith and a ton of other NFL writers. I ain't gonna lie, I trash-talked him. If he doesn't win our league, I say the winner should get to be in one of his video. Wonder what Wayne will call his team? - Jay Crawford saying, "yo Weezy!" will never be not funny. Never. I always love my job, but today was one of those days I REALLY LOVED my job. Because I'm a sports person, I'm typically not all that excited about meeting athletes. I meet them all the time, so I guess I tend to take it for granted. Unless it's an icon like Muhammad Ali. It's much more fascinating to me to talk to entertainers and actors because I don't know as much about their world, and I'm curious as to how they see sports. Be easy, Weezy.

Jan 6th, 2009

302

New Year's Resolutions

I've probably had the same resolution the last five years: To be a better person than I was before. Normally, I'm anti-resolution. I believe in trying to be better all the time, not just because it's a new year. This year, I'm going to follow the pack and actually create a list. I'm thinking of sticking it somewhere I can see it every day. Maybe in my office. Anyway, these are the resolutions I've come up with so far: - Eat red meat once every three months. This is going to be tough. There is nothing I love more than a great, big ol' steak. But I'm at the age where I've got to at least attempt to have a few healthy habits. To begin this process, I'm actually undergoing colon hydrotherapy the second day of the New Year. Don't ask questions, please. - Learn how to apply makeup. I pretty much suck at it and have never-ever been interested in elaborate face painting. But doing the TV thing, I feel almost obligated to learn how to make up my own face. - Overcome my irrational hatred of shopping. If you told me I could own the same three pair of jeans the rest of my life, I'd take that deal in a heartbeat. I always have despised shopping. I hate trying on clothes. I hate waiting in line. I hate being helped by over-eager sales people. I hate everything about the mall except the Mrs. Fields cookie stand. Mmmm. - Take a vacation! I haven't been somewhere in forever. My problem is that I travel so much for work that when I do have time off, the last thing I feel like doing is sitting in a damn airport or hopping on a plane. But from where I live, it's just a 90-minute flight to Bermuda, Costa Rica, Jamaica, Turks and Caicos, and St. Thomas. I need to take advantage of this. - Pick up a show that everyone loves, but for whatever reason, I never got into. I'm down to three: Six Feet Under, 30 Rock and Arrested Development. Help me decide. - Learn to box. I've been dying to do this for years. I admire the physical strength and ability of boxers. This is my year. - Meet Jeff Pearlman. He's my dude, but we've never met in person. By the way, if you haven't already, please read "Boys Will Be Boys," which is about the Cowboys dynasty in the 90s. You will not be able to put it down. - Read more. I read more in '08 than I had in years and I'd like to keep that going. I'm trying to read different kind of books. Case in point: I'm reading a spy novel in the Bourne Supremacy series. Maybe I'll do a murder mystery because I've never read one. - Clean out my garage. Seriously, I just can't stand it anymore. I've got both a beetle and a frog imbedded in my garage floor. It's freakin' gross. I also have boxes I've never unpacked. - Get a new drink. I've been a Vodka drinker for a few years now, but I'm feeling like I need to shake things up. Suggest something. I don't like sweet drinks, like Kahlua or apple martinis. Anyway, that's all I got for now. Feel free to post your own resolutions. I'll probably add some more before the first of the year.

Dec 30th, 2008

301

Weird Lunch

I've told you before that the ESPN cafeteria is absolutely ridiculous. It's the sickest work cafeteria in the history of work cafeterias. I put us up against Google, Yahoo (who I heard gave its employees free water, coffee and vending machine snacks)...anybody. The indoor walkway leading to the cafe has field turf! We've got brick pizza ovens, and a very nice deli. Today they had fresh italian sausage, pasta, and just all kind of ridiculous treats designed to give you heart disease. Anyway, today the cafe really stepped its game up because on the adjoining atrium they set up Rock Band 2 on Wii. At ESPN, they seem to believe video games mix well with food. There are three or four PS2/X-Box stations throughout the cafeteria. Maybe they think a quick game of NCAA college football staves off indigestion. I'm lame so I refuse to join the Guitar Hero-video game movement. I'm from the Tecmo Bowl era. I'm used to controllers with two buttons. I'm used to the sound effects just being a simple, "boop....boop." During my heydey, video games were either for throwing touchdowns or killing people. I didn't want to imitate KISS and Bon Jovi. Once Madden made it so you had to be a Division I offensive coordinator to play it, I retired. But I must say, Rock Band 2 looked pretty entertaining. Certainly it was fun to watch. They even gave you a ticket so you can cast a "ballot" for the best "band." One group was called The Bottom Line. Get it? Pretty clever. I was waiting to see Keyshawn Johnson on drums and Mike Ditka on the guitar. Or Peter Drummond on the drums, and Kruk on the guitar. It never happened, but there was a line of people waiting to start up a jam session. You know you work at a good place when people play guitar at lunch.

Dec 18th, 2008

300

Am I Being Oversensitive?

I like Norman Chad. I don't know him personally, but he's funny as hell. But today, he wrote a column that made me a little bit uncomfortable. He did a mock diary that was supposedly written by Michael Vick, and while there are some very funny lines in this column, there are some other ones that bother me. Particularly: "I love my fiancée Kijafa to death, but I don't need more self-help books, I need some sweet potato pie." Also: "...Last night I gave the warden Chargers -7 1/2 ; tonight, chateaubriand and collard greens!" And: "...Nobody beats me at bid whist, but what am I going to do with all these cigarettes?" Plus: "...The line for the payphone is a killer, but Marcus sneaked me in a Treo with unlimited nights and weekends." A few disclaimers, first: - I'm not accusing Norman Chad of being a racist. I don't even know Norman Chad. - I'm not advocating anything happen to Norman Chad because, as this blog title should tell you, it's entirely possible I'm being oversensitive. - Michael Vick's fiance really is named Kijafa. That being said, Chad used some stereotypes I wasn't particularly fond of. I know it was satire, but it's based off some cultural assumptions -- namely that all black people like collard greens, sweet potato pie and play bid whist. (Although, I must admit, on some level, I was impressed with the bid whist reference.) Unless he knows those things to be true about Vick, he's playing with some dangerous stereotypes. Obviously, I've made some mistakes, so I don't make this criticism from on high. I'm just encouraging open discussion. Anyway, tell me what you think. Am I being oversensitive? Is this column over the line?

Dec 8th, 2008

299

Are Black People Most Terrified Of Other Black People?

This is going to require some intelligent discourse, and we may have to take off our Politically Correct caps for a moment. I was watching Mike and Mike this morning and they replayed comments by rapper TI, who soon will do a year in jail for having unlicensed firearms. During an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, TI was asked why, despite being a superstar, he felt the need to carry and purchase weapons. TI, by the way, is a convicted felon and it is illegal for convicted felons to purchase guns. I'm paraphrasing, but TI basically said if you're a black person with some fame or fortune you feel paranoid. He also makes another intriguing point, saying that if he were shot, the first thing people would wonder is why he didn't have protection. (If you want, you can check out the video clip of the TI interview.) TI put some things in perspective but it didn't address the entirety of why (some) famous black folks feel the need to be strapped. And with Plaxico Burress' gun case becoming a national issue, it seems like this deserves more than just hit-it-and-quit-it analysis. As I listened to TI's words a thought occurred to me, and it's what has been left unsaid throughout the discussions on guns and black celebrities. Famous black people are carrying weapons because they're afraid of other black people. You may have raised your eyebrow at that statement, but just follow me for a minute. Black-on-black crime is arguably the single-most destructive force in the black community. The latest crime statistics show black people are six times more likely than whites to be murdered, and 94 percent of black people are murdered by other black people. This Sports Illustrated piece explains how Michael Vick and other black athletes fail to leave behind neighborhood friends -- some of which who dwell in unsavory worlds -- and can't seemingly take advantage of what their success and fame now offer. Most of us, when we ascend up the corporate ladder, we leave behind our old world, regardless of if we came from tough circumstances or not. Increased income almost always assures you'll be in different social circle. It also allows for you to entertain yourself in different ways. And because you have worked so hard to achieve your success, you naturally stay away from the environments and situations that threaten what you've built. It's simply maturing, but for black athletes that process is more convoluted. Their transition from their old world to the new world is much more sudden. Most of us have seen our incomes increase over time. Athletes and entertainers see their fame and fortune increase dramatically practically overnight. I believe this sudden change is why they cling so hard to old habits and why their full maturing sometimes doesn't take place. The Latin Quarter, where Burress shot himself, is not the kind of club that Burress or any of the Giants should be in. Not when you consider their worth and the incidents that club has had in the past. Every time they step into that club, the liability outweighs the reward. Most black people, superstar or not, generally live with a fear that everything can be taken away at any moment. Most of our parents have taught us that black people have to work twice as hard for our success, which consequently means our margin of error is practically nonexistant. So when you're a black millionaire athlete or entertainer, you don't quite trust your success. You look around your new world and see unrecognizable, unfamilar faces. They may not mean you any harm, but you automatically don't trust them because they weren't there with you from the beginning. So what do you do? You go back to old surroundings and old ways, trying to recreate a sense of normalcy. You go back to see your people at those same nightclubs you used to hit when you were broke. You want to show people you've made something of yourself and you naively think that the people there are going to be happy for you. Some will. A lot, won't. See, some of those people aren't seeing the old you, the broke you. They see the new you. They see the wealth. They see the opportunity to come up. A few of the club are thinking, "I can hit a lick on this one." And, even though, you, the new black millionaire athlete/entertainer, know that you probably shouldn't be in that nightclub or around those people, you go anyway because it's what you know. Only you decide to give yourself an advantage. You go strapped. Because if you go Glock-ed up, it gives you the best of both worlds. You can go back to what's normal. You can floss. And if anyone tries to take symbols of the success you've earned, you can put a bullet in their ass. Or, in your own thigh. So this "paranoia" is mostly the paranoia that someone who looks like you is going to take from you. If you went to Bill Gates' house for dinner, or to Broadway show, you probably wouldn't feel the need to be packing. TI said he brought guns to the BET Awards and I'm guessing it's because Notorious B.I.G was gunned down at the Soul Train Music awards. It's because Tupac was gunned down on Vegas Blvd...by his own people. I'm guessing TI doesn't feel unsafe at the Grammy's. Or that if Plax went to the W, he wouldn't have been carrying a pistol. I'm wondering what that says.

Dec 5th, 2008

298

Monkey, Yes...Sloppy Seconds, Not So Much

I don't care that Sean Avery called his ex-girlfriend "sloppy seconds." So what? If not for this story, I wouldn't have known who Elisha Cuthbert was. I don't consider the term sexist. Men can be "sloppy seconds," too. If anything it's a slam at Calgary defenseman Dion Phaneuf and Cuthbert, who used to date Avery and is now dating Phaneuf. That wasn't enough to suspend Sean Avery. But I tell you what was: How about when he allegedly called Edmonton Oiler Georges Laraque a "monkey?" Sloppy seconds -- not a big deal. Monkey? Different story. Or how about a couple weeks ago when Avery got into an ugly confrontation with a Boston Bruin fan? So let me get this straight: Calling a black player a "monkey" -- cool. Cussing out a fan? No biggie. But calling an unknown actress "sloppy seconds" is an embarrassment? Go figure.

Dec 3rd, 2008

297

Uh, Mr. Mayor Bloomberg

I mentioned in yesterday's blog post that I considered NYC Mayor Bloomberg's comments on Plaxico totally out of line. I've got a few more thoughts to add. Clearly, Plax did something he regrets. He did not display good judgment, common sense or rational. I get that. But for the mayor to come out against him like he had gone Columbine at the club was ridiculous grand-standing meant solely to grab extra TV cameras. I'm wondering where all this rage was after Mr. Bloomberg's fine New York City police officers riddled Sean Bell with 50 bullets? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't recall Bloomberg saying those officers deserved to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. This isn't a race thing, but a stupid thing. Yet it always seems that when high-profile black folks make ill-advised decision, they immediately get the W.P.E (Worst Person Ever) treatment. At the end of the day, even if Plax does do 3 1/2 years for unlawfully carrying a weapon, the only person hurt is him. Dude may go to prison for...shooting himself. Hate to go Allen Iverson on y'all, but dude may go to prison for ...shooting himself? WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SHOOTING HIMSELF!

Dec 2nd, 2008

296

Plaxico

I went to school with Plaxico Burress and then covered him as a professional reporter. Plax was always a little different, but a decent guy. Hardly a thug. He could be moody, but that certainly doesn't set him apart from other high-profile athletes. Now did I think he would one day shoot himself and possibly cost himself a Hall of Fame bid? Actually, yes. Of course, I mean this figuratively. I didn't really think he would physically shoot himself, but I did believe it was possible he might one day shoot himself in the foot. So to speak. He skirted the rules a bit at Michigan State. Kinda had a penchant for saying the wrong things at the wrong time. Nick Saban once banned him from talking to the media for several weeks because he had the unfortunate habit of trash-talking the opponent in the press. I always wondered/worried that Plax never fully understood consequences. Part of the reason people are reacting so strongly to what Plax did is because it exposes such troublesome critical thinking. He carried a loaded firearm to a nightclub, which is a recipe for disaster. While he only injured himself, he very easily could have shot someone else. According to the New York papers, Plax told police that he brought the weapon because he had on expensive jewelry and feared someone might try to rob him. Two questions immediately come to mind: 1) If he felt threatened, why go to THAT club? Every club has a different reputation. Most of try to avoid the club where we're most likely to catch a hot one. Now, for some, I realize there's a certain excitement in going to the hot/slightly dangerous club. In my 20s, I did it all the time. But a professional athlete can't go to that kind of club -- and the one Plax was in has a history of incidents. 2) If he really thought his diamond piece was going to attract the wrong kind of attention, why even wear it? Most of the incidents at clubs involving professional athletes start because pro athletes can't help but floss a little too hard. They want everybody to look, but no one to touch. They party with the working class, flaunt Cristal and VIP status in their faces, and then seemed shock when somebody gets pissed. Javon Walker in no way deserved to get beaten and left for dead, but I believe what touched off that incident was his behavior. He was spraying champagne on people, wearing an $100K chain and just generally wearing a blinking, red sign that said: Please club me upside the head and steal everything I have. Solution: Party with your own wallet class. Donald Trump, who has lost more money than Plax has, parties all around the world and I'm going to guess he's never come close to being jacked. That's because he parties with people who have as much as he does. It might sound elitist, but it could save someone's life. What ultimately is going to undo Plax is negligence. I don't believe he went to the club planning to shoot someone, but the fact that he was carrying the weapon casually and didn't have a permit shows a neglect and immaturity. And let's say something did jump off at the club. He'd still be in deep trouble because he was unlawfully carrying a weapon. And what if he hurt an innocent bystander? Bottom line: He should have just stayed home or gone to a club where he didn't feel the need to wear a weapon. Still, I don't think the solution is to deny people the right to carry a firearm. I've taken a pistol course and once I became educated about how to use a firearm, it made me much more respectful of the firepower. In our homes, we all have the right to protect ourselves. Athletes are targets, especially black athletes. Sean Taylor was murdered because he selected the wrong two people to cut his grass. Darrent Williams didn't even start the fight that ruined his life. Several black athletes have reported being follwed home, and others have been robbed at gunpoint, kidnapped, etc. And while this isn't a race thing, there is a certain crime pathology that, sadly, is prevalent in the black community. Unfortunately, black athletes have to fear their own because of the frequency of black-on-black crime. But it's not just the criminal pathology in the African-American community, but the family one, too. Certainly there are plenty of athletes of all colors who have made extremely bad decisions. But I can't help but notice the guys who routinely make bad decisions come from a similar social construct. The no. 1 thing they all seem to have in common is growing up in a fatherless home. A father in the home makes a world of difference no matter what color you are, but the absenteeism among black fathers is disproportionately high. This may sound unbelievably old school, but only a father can teach a boy to be a man. And so many black male athletes have not been taught how to be a man and continue to make the decisions like a boy. EDIT: I almost forgot to mention NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg, who had a feisty response to Plaxico's arrest. I'm not trying to bely the seriousness of the offense, but him saying publicly he hoped that Plax got the book thrown at him struck me as out of line. I realize he's a public figure and should know better. I also realize he did endanger lives. Still, I see this mostly as a crime of stupidity. And, uh, didn't Dick Chaney shoot somebody in the face? Jus' sayin....

Dec 1st, 2008

295

A Fool And His Money...

I blogged before about the failures of Michael Vick, but Rick Reilly really puts his descension into perspective in his column this week. Reilly breaks down Vick's failures by the numbers. It was obvious Vick was financing everything and everyone, but when you look at the raw numbers, it's stupefying. Michael Vick was a walking Bridge card. An example: Sticker price of the '07 Infiniti Vick bought for his fiancée to keep in Leavenworth so she has something to drive while visiting him in prison: $65,000. Cost of a cab from the Kansas City airport to the prison: $60. That's right -- Michael Vick paid 65K for a luxury vehicle just so his woman could have something to drive to see him in prison. Clearly I've been dating the wrong men. Anyway, according to Reilly's column, one of Vick's boys -- who he put in charge of his money while he's in prison -- ran through $3 million of his money. Another woman, his alleged business manager, stole another 900K. Vick is footing the bill for his mother, brother, fiancee, three kids, and his ex-girlfriend, who he has a son with. That cost 20K a month. Clearly I'm in the wrong family. Vick recently gave his mother a grand for "chump change," which brings the total amount he's given her since being in prison -- and this is on top of him paying ALL of her bills -- to a little over 21K. Vick owns nine cars. Only one of which is his -- a Ford F-150. His mother has an Escalade, his brother and fiance have Land Rovers, he bought his financial advisor a Benz, and his boy, a Caddy. Honestly, this shit isn't even funny. It's sad. I only feel sorry for Vick in this way: He wasn't raised with enough guidance to handle his fame or fortune. Don't get me wrong, he's a grown man and should be held responsible for his actions, but to be successful in this world, you need certain seeds planted. I doubt he ever had them. Michael Vick clearly lacks basic common sense. He may have grown up humble, but the moment he showed extraordinary athletic talent, that deadened whatever common sense may have been bubbling. Extreme coddling leaves you vulnerable to building a false reality. If Vick wants to make a comeback, the first thing he needs to do is stop supporting grown people. Can't do anything about the baby mommas, but everyone else needs to make their own way. And if they can't, they damn sure should be living a modest lifestyle. Instead of a '97 Escalade, he needs to get momma down with a Ford Taurus. I know we all want to see our people do well and to share our wealth, but there is a fine line between sharing and supporting. Vick never knew where that line was.

Dec 1st, 2008

294

W.I.E

Candidate for worst Invention Ever -- the voice recognition software used for bill payment. Now automated bill payment is a fantastic invention. You punch in your account number, credit card or checking account information, press 9#, and you're done. Takes three minutes, max. But try paying your bill when you have to say your selections. It's a cursing tirade waiting to happen. "Please say your account number." "456789" "I'm sorry, I do not recognize that account number. Please try again." "456789" "I'm sorry that is an invalid account number. Please try again." "456789" "I'm sorry that is an invalid account number. Please try again." "Yo momma." Click. Even worse is when you have to say a dollar amount. "Please say the amount you which to pay." "$200.00" "Did you say 2 million dollars? Please say 'yes' to confirm and 'no' to cancel." "$200.00" "Did you say 200 pesos? Please say 'yes' to confirm and 'no' to cancel." "$200.00" "Did you say 200 rubles? Please say 'yes' to confirm and 'no' to cancel." "F#@@ you." Click. And then after you go through all that bull with voice recognition, they have the nerve to charge you $7 or $8 just for the transaction. Makes you miss real people. There was actually a time in this country where you could argue a little bit with your bill collector. Not anymore.

Nov 25th, 2008

293

Rich Rod Needs Perspective

This college football season I've had a running argument with my friends who attended the University of Michigan. Most of them are delusional and believe with more time and players, Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez will have them in yearly contention for the national championship. Based off what I've seen this season, I can't say if Rodriguez is the long-term answer. But I do know he's done the worst coaching job in the country this season. And his incredibly short-sighted comments last week only crystallizes my point. I don't believe Rodriguez should be fired, but it is his fault that Michigan's program has reached its lowest point in decades. Michigan isn't going to a bowl game for the first time since 1974. The Wolverines have eight losses and are expected to get smashed this weekend at Ohio State. The Buckeyes are favored by 19, which is the largest spread in the series history. A truly good coach works and improves upon the talent he has and Rodriguez hasn't come close in that department. Michigan's defense was supposed to be the strength of the team, but I often saw missed tackles, blown assignments and a general lack of passion among the players. I look at Michigan games and often wonder if the players even respect their coach. Most people anticipated Michigan would have a down year, but it should never have been this bad. Rodriguez came to Michigan with an arrogance that was bordering on Charlie Weis levels. He thought installing his offense was akin to bringing fire to cavemen. But Michigan's offense often looked like something a cat drew up in the litter box. I realize Rodriguez didn't have his players -- and that's No. 1 on the Michigan fans excuse chart -- but I consider the lack of execution and discipline a coaching issue. Rodriguez made a big mistake when he practically shoved QB Ryan Mallet and offensive lineman Justin Boren -- arguably his two-best offensive players -- out the door. Some people tried to justify it by saying that Mallet and Boren were cocky -- as if that's so abnormal for a highly-recruited underclassmen at big programs. Michigan did not have enough talent to absorb such significant losses. But even though Carr may not have left Rodriguez enough talent to beat the likes of Ohio State, he almost certainly left him enough talent to beat Toledo. At home. Michigan has stockpiled top-10 recruiting classes since Madonna celebrated her 30th birthday and while you can argue that talent may have been overrated, I sincerely doubt it's as bad as what's we've seen on the field. If Rodriguez is such a system-dependent coach that he doesn't know how to work with players not named Pat White and Steve Slaton, then maybe he's the one who is overrated. Nick Saban is the best coach in college football because at every stop, he has made the most out of what he inherited. He has never made any excuses. When Rodriguez got rid of Boren and Mallet, he was not only conceding the 2008 season but offering Michigan fans one, big fat excuse. That is unacceptable. Rodriguez had $5 million reasons to make things work under any circumstances. I don't care if Lloyd Carr left him Shrek and Peter Griffin on the offensive line. Michigan is paying Rodriguez $2.5 million for his salary, and they ponied up another $2.5 to bail him out of his contract at West Virginia. Excuses were the last thing Michigan fans should have heard. This Rodriguez situation reminds me a little of how Urban Meyer was when he first got to Florida. Meyer thought his offense would magically dominate the SEC right away. He insinuated the offense's lack of success was the fault of Chris Leak, who was the SEC's leading passer prior to Meyer's arrival. Meyer, though, was forced to make Leak work. Certainly he used Tim Tebow, but if it were not for Leak, Meyer would never have won a national championship. But one thing is for sure: No matter the offensive struggles and intense criticism, Meyer was not stupid enough to talk down to his fans. I don't know what Rodriguez expected when he took over one of the top programs in college football history, but he should have known better than to think he could merely rest on his laurels as an unproven genius. And considering how much money Rodriguez is being paid, the last thing he should do is tell his own fans to worry about the economy instead of him. It makes him sound like an out-of-touch a-hole. But I don't feel sorry for Michigan because, in many ways, this is what they deserved. Full disclosure: I'm a Michigan State grad, but that doesn't have anything to do with my criticisms of Rodriguez. I always felt Lloyd Carr was underappreciated by Michigan fans. He was a fantastic coach and an even stronger leader. I interviewed Lloyd many times and he was a man that earned your respect. That was not enough for Michigan fans, who wanted style instead of substance.

Nov 19th, 2008

292

Assphincter Says What?

OK, explain this to me like I'm a 2-year-old. Bailing out Wall Street = good. Bailing out the Big 3 = bad? Admittedly, the Big 3 issue is close to my heart because I'm a native Detroiter, and I understand intimately that the auto industry is the heartbeat of the city. The running joke is that everybody in Detroit has the hook-up on an "A plan" -- or an employee discount -- since so many of us have friends and family who work for the Big 3. As many of you know, the Big 3 is in serious trouble and some experts have even predicted they will be out of cash reserves next year. Chrysler reportedly is worth nothing and you can buy stock in those auto companies for roughly the price of a six-pack of Heniken. So I am totally stunned and disappointed that lawmakers have chosen to engage in non-sensical, hypocritical posturing rather than give the Big 3 the funds they desperately need. Suddenly, they are taking a hardline stance against a bailout, feigning concern for taxpayers. This comes after the government gift-wrapped $700 billion to their peoples on Wall Street and assumed the debt of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Lawmakers say they are resisting an automaker bailout because they feel as if they would be rewarding the Big 3 for bad business practices. Many of them claim the Big 3 are in deep doo-doo because they built too many SUVs instead of investing in lower-cost, fuel efficient cars and don't make cars that are competitive with foreign companies like Toyota and Honda. That's a bunch of bullshit -- which this article proves. I mean, it's not like the numerous banks and other lenders who received government welfare weren't engaging in risky business practices, too. Banks and other mortgage lenders gladly extended loans people to people who couldn't afford them and it's no secret E'eery-body and their momma got to refinance and take out a home-equity loan. You can blame the Big 3 for investing too heavily in SUVs, but they were only responding to market demand. Live little, Ride Big, is the American way. Back then, people wanted Hummers, not hybrids. When the economy was in full swing, a lot of businesses made dumb decisions. Big business behaved as if the influx of cash and credit was endless. Instead of preparing more conservatively for the future, they built their futures around inadequate and unrealistic financial projections. You might think the Big 3 is getting exactly what it deserves because many of them relocated their factories in foreign countries -- which essentially was a middle finger to the American people. Well, guess what made that possible? NAFTA -- legislation that allowed auto companies to take their business outside of the U.S. without restriction. And who co-signed and pushed NAFTA hard? Bill Clinton, and pretty much all of Capitol Hill. In fact, Clinton called it his legacy. So, I don't want to hear that bitching now. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm beginning to think the reluctance to provide an auto company bailout has a lot to do with where the Big 3 are head-quartered. Something tells me that if Ford, GM and Chrysler were in Texas or Florida, a bailout wouldn't even be a debate. Dubya probably would have been able to write a blank check and deliver it to the Fords personally. But because this involves Detroit -- and let's be honest, other than Detroiters, no one cares whether Detroit succeeds or fails -- lawmakers want to puff their chest out on behalf of the taxpayer. The irony is that not bailing out the auto companies would have the strongest impact on the people the lawmakers allege they are trying to protect. And it's interesting how bailouts are a bad idea when the majority of people affected are the working class. If the Big 3 fails, then Detroit fails. Michigan fails. We don't manufacture a lot of things in America anymore, so I think we're obligated to help the Big 3 stay afloat. Like a lot of you, I'm not comfortable with giving welfare to billion-dollar companies and multi-million dollar executives. But for our economy to succeed and get out of this hole, we have no choice but to provide protection and insurance to big business. So Congress needs to just suck it up and give the Big 3 its Bridge Card.

Nov 17th, 2008

291

How To Behave In The Ta-Ta Club

I'm jacking this post from Deadspin because it warrants further discussion and was written by Bomani Jones, one of my fave people. Bomani posted The Pacman Rules, which are a set of guidelines men should use when attending strip clubs. I have often wondered why a lot of men can't behave themselves in strip clubs. Don't get me wrong, most of y'all go there with your pressed, new dolla bills, have a few drinks, enjoy your private dances and go home pleasantly unfulfilled. But I've been in the Ta-Ta club when Strip Club Guy has had too much to drink, slaps a girl on the ass, and next thing you know he's getting choke-slammed by security. In fact, nearly 90 percent of the flare-ups I've seen in strip clubs have started because some men don't understand "do not touch" really means keep your hands to yourself. But the worst is when Strip Club Guy spends his mortgage on a woman because he believes the stripper actually likes him. For his personality. Having seen this interplay numerous times, it makes me have more respect for the stripper. People always joke that strippers are stupid, but if anyone has ever seen a stripper juice a dude for all duckets, you come to the conclusion that maybe we should send strippers to handle all international negotiations. It's also great insight into the manipulation that takes place in a male-female relationship. Men are transparent and women are exceptional liars. (Side note: I've been to strip clubs for both men and women and by far, the ones for men are much cooler and more fun than the strip joints for ladies. The gentlemen's clubs have much better music and drinks. Most of them serve food, and not cheap, barely edible bar food. When I lived in Detroit, me and a buddy of mine would go to this one club near downtown because they had for Monday Night Football they had lobster tails, steak and shrimp at an absolutely criminal price. And for some reason, it's hilarious and entertaining when I see some old guy forking over his pension to "put a girl through school." But when I see someone my grandmother's age showering some guy with dollas, it's just sad and brutal. Moving on...) Fellas, I suggest you print out Bomani's rules and tuck them in your wallet next to that condom you haven't used in four years. To me, here's No. 1 rule to follow: 3. Don't frequent spots where one can bring a pistol. It's unclear whether someone from Pacman's party fired the shots at Minxx that night. However, it doesn't matter whether it was Pacman, his boy, or some dude posted in the corner that fired the shots. If the place doesn't sweep its patrons for weapons, it's not the place to go. Considering all the commotion at a strip club—especially during a night as busy as one around All-Star Weekend—there's no telling where a bullet could wind up going. I'm sure Arlen Specter would agree. As for the other things that could go wrong, ask Stephen Jackson and Co. See, I understand why a blue-collar dude can't go to the more reputable, less dangerous strip club spots. But what I don't get is why a millionaire would ever frequent a low-end spot. It's not a talent issue, is it? There are a number of properly-run, exclusive skin joints for millionaires. I think the problem is that rich dudes live to show up broke men. Since most rich dudes are former broke men, they remember the hatred they felt when they glanced toward V.I.P and saw the rich dude surrounded by 20 chicks, neverending Cristal, and $20s. Instead of appreciating and understanding the jealousy a broke dude might feel, rich dudes get a special perverse pleasure out of inspiring widespread hater-dom. It's only inevitable someone catches a bullet in their ass in that situation. And while we're on the topic of personal development, I also encourage you men to check out my Groupie Code. Don't worry if you don't have groupies. This code is generally for guys who don't want a girlfriend, but require a certain, uh, arrangement.

Nov 14th, 2008

290

Quantum Of Solace

Today may as well be a holiday for me because the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, opens in theaters today. I was very skeptical when Daniel Craig took over the Bond role, but I've got to eat crow about that. I thought Clive Owen would have been a great Bond, but Craig was fantastic in Casino Royale. I really like how they've changed Bond from being laid-back and easygoing to dark and troubled. That change reinvigorated the Batman series, and it's doing the same thing for JB. If you go see the movie, I'd love to hear your impressions, but no spoilers please. A few Bond-related questions to usher in the premiere of a new Bond: - Who's the best Bond ever? - Favorite Bond movie. - Best Bond girl. - Who sang the best Bond intro? My answers: 1. Sean Connery. 2. I go back and forth between Octopussy, The World Is Not Enough and Goldfinger. 3. Grace Jones - the strangest, most non-sensical Bond girl ever. 4. Three-way tie between Sheena Easton, Tina Turner and Madonna.

Nov 14th, 2008

289

Uh, Dem's Fighting Words

I've called a man a bitch once in my life. It's really a funny story, but it's best surmised as love-that-should-never-have-been, gone bad. But trust me, calling him a bitch was my only recourse. I think -- and most men agree -- that calling a man a bitch is the worst thing you could ever say to a man. The second worst thing you could do is call a man's momma a bitch. No. 3 might be calling a man a bitch in front of his friends. Actually, now that I think about it, No. 3, supercedes No. 2. Anyway, my boyfriend told me that if I ever called him a bitch, our relationship would be over. And, he's right. There's no comeback from bitch. Now if I called him a MF, we could probably work that out. But a bitch? I might as well just castrate him. I clearly don't respect him. So I'm kinda shocked that Warren Sapp called Keyshawn Johnson a bitch. On Showtime. In front of millions of people. Here's the transcript: (On rumor that Sapp is a diva on “Dancing With The Stars”) SAPP: I’ll tell you what. I have to be honest about the diva thing. I am a little eccentric at times. I like cold water and in California they like it room temperature. And as a 300-pound man I needed a little cold water. So they gave me a big cooler and they put “Warren’s Water,” so I guess that’s where they get that from. If a big fella needing cold water is being a diva, then diva I am. (On whether he would ever watch Keyshawn Johnson’s reality show about interior design) SAPP: Me, watch Keyshawn on an interior decorating show? Keyshawn, I knew you were a bitch. And thanks for making it all clear. Look, I'm not a violent person, but that strikes me as ass-whupping worthy. When Joey Porter and Brandon Marshall got into their war of words, notice Marshall stopped just short of calling JP a bitch. Probably because you just don't go there. If I'm Key, we couldn't handle it like gentlemen, we'd have to get into some gangsta shit. EDIT: I just want to explain to those dropping in here that the last sentence is a quote from Vince Vaughn in the movie, "Be Cool." It was meant purely as sarcasm. I am not advocating pistol play, LOL. But yes, I know many a man who see that as a serious breach of the man code. Carry on.

Nov 13th, 2008

288

Thank You, George Bush

Dear Dubya, They say everything happens for a reason and God doesn't make mistakes. And certainly your presidency has made more than a few wonder if that were really true. Tuesday night, your existence became clear. If not for your supreme awfulness, Mr. Dubya, I'm not sure if there ever would have been a Barack Obama. But you got the country to such a point of peril that a new direction became a must. Yes, your idiocy paved the way for the country to have its first black president. How ironic. It wasn't really surprising Barack won the presidency with such ease. Obama was intelligent, confident, measured and steady. In other words, he was everything you were not. However, what was surprising is seeing how relieved people were to be rid of you. This was a WORLDWIDE celebration. You have gone down as the worst and most unpopular president in the history of America. That is not an easy thing to accomplish. Make no mistake, many people celebrated Barack's presidency because it marked astounding growth in this nation, but it was very much a celebration of your eviction. If I were John McCain, I'd take your photo and use it as toilet paper the next two months. I like McCain. I think he would have made a good president. He is a principled man who did his best to resist the tactics of your advisors. But he simply could not overcome YOU. You were such a terrible leader that McCain couldn't even afford to be seen with you. He could not use a sitting president to bolster his campaign. How ridiculous is that? In eight years, you torpedoed your legacy and that of your family's and destroyed the credibility of the Republican party. The good thing is that Republicans are now forced to make dramatic changes within their party if they want to stay politically relevant. The Republicans have made their living running divisive campaigns, but I'd like to think they learned an extraordinary lesson this time. People want to hear about solutions, not differences. They want to know what we have in common, and not what separates us. When you elect a president, you want to feel as if you're standing behind someone, or some larger ideal. This country never really recovered from you stealing the election in 2000. Many of us felt as if we were stuck with you, not standing with you. But without you, we wouldn't be here, ready to work together. So long Mr. Dubya. It's been nice dealing with this piss-poor economy and unwinnable war. I would have preferred to have never known you -- as president, anyway. Please don't let the door hit you on the ass as you leave the White House. Sincerely, Someone who is cabbage-patching at the thought of you being gone.

Nov 5th, 2008

287

What Change Really Means

Voting for Change does not mean racism is eliminated. It was crippled Tuesday night, but still remains vibrant. Voting for Change does not mean one man is responsible for everything. We all need to do our part to make this a better country. Voting for Change does not mean our problems are solved overnight. The current problems were eight years in the making, so it may be three or four years before anything is figured out. Voting for Change does not absolve Barack Obama from being held accountable. The nation did its part by entrusting him to lead. Now, Barack, LEAD.

Nov 5th, 2008

286

A Day's Work (UPDATED)

I decided a couple days ago to stop bullshittin'. I've moved so much over the last decade that I haven't fully unpacked in a decade. I'm like everyone else. I unpack all the stuff I want, and then forget the rest. This, of course, leads to inevitable, unnattractive clutter. Finally I decided enough was enough. I was going to deal with some of those boxes that had just been sitting around in my garage and home office. The No. 1 box on my list that I needed to deal with? The one with all of my CDs. The iPod has given us many wonderful things, but it has unfortunately given us an excuse to be packrats. Pre-iPod, you just stored your CDs. Post-iPod, you have to make an executive decision. I still don't know what the right move is. Should you sell your old CDs? Keep them? Throw them in the trash? I just don't know. Anyway, I took on the monumental task of downloading EVERY CD I OWN. I started this process years ago, but when I got down to the remaining 75 or so, I just didn't said, screw it. So for the last two days, I have been a downloading fool. The good part of this is that I have fallen back in love with CDs I had long forgot about. A sample of what I've been bumpin' on the re-love tip: - Kelly Price's, "It Will Rain." - The following from Boyz II Men: "Uh Ahh..."...."This Is My Heart."...."Vibin'"...."Jezzebel."...."Trying Times"..."50 Candles.." (As an aside, I'm convinced "Uhh Ahh" was a catalyst for many teenage pregnancies) - And what'chall know about Loose Ends? "Hanging On A String" is so strong. - Shirley Murdock's, "As We Lay." - Mariah Carey's, "To the Floor." Anyway, my guess is that I'm not alone in my downloading procrastination. What are some of your favorite re-discovered CDs and songs? EDIT: I didn't have time to run through everything I'd been listening to the last couple days. Here are a few more: - Alex Bugnon, "Heart Of New York" - Jean Luc Ponty, "In The Fast Lane" - Black Moon, "Who Got Da Props" - Luke, "I Wanna Rock" You didn't ask, but I'll tell: The new John Legend is solid. Not as good as his previous efforts, but it's worth buying. And since we're on the subject of music, I want you all to give me your best playlist. Right now, here's the playlist I'm diggin', which I refer to as *NSP (Neo-Soul playlist): 1. "A Pimp's Dream," Dwele 2. "Femininity," Eric Benet 3. "Takeyouthere," Musiq Soulchild 4. "If Trouble Was Money," Mint Condition 5. "Strength, Courage & Wisdom," India.arie 6. "Rush Over," Me'shell Ndegeocello 7. "Spanish Joint," D'Angelo 8. "Speechless," Musiq Soulchild 9. "Hold On," Dwele 10. "The Cell," Erykah Badu 11. "Blackberry Molasses," Mista 12. "Ms.philadelphia," Musiq Soulchild 13. "Midnight (interlude), Raheem DeVaughn 14. "Marathon," Raheem DeVaughn with Floetry 15. "You Sure Love To Ball," Will Downing *I got about 30 songs on this playlist, but only gave you my 15.

Nov 2nd, 2008

285

Will You Be My Black Friend?

I have a lot of white friends. I have slightly fewer black friends. I have more Latino friends than ever. Over the years, the number of white friends I have has increased, and the number of black friends has decreased. Not by an alarming rate, but enough for me to notice. I'm not uncomfortable with the imbalance because I feel as if I have friends that represent a broad cross section of political and religious views, socio-economic and regional backgrounds. But I could see very easily how a friend group can become shockingly narrow. As you get older, you venture out less. I used to go out a couple times a week. Now, it's a couple times a month. Over time, you care more about convenience, and less about diversity. In this month's GQ, Devin Friedman has a thoughtful piece about his search for a black friend. Over time, as Friedman has become entrenched in the ultra-white magazine industry, he noticed that he barely knows any black people. He not only seeks to change this, but he explains why it has occurred. In private moments, I have not only thought about how the racial makeup of my friends has changed, but I've also thought about how, as you get older, you make fewer friendships. As you age, your circle and world become increasingly insular and small. It is not because you are incapable of being friends with someone outside of your race. It is because the pressure and demands of life have sapped so much of your energy that you can't summon up the effort to learn someone knew. When we were all in school, it was easy to make friends. School, for the most part, is minimum-security prison with benefits. At least that's how you think of it as a kid. And whenever you have a group of people subject to the same regulations, under the same roof, a certain kinship develops. Considering where I came from and the schools I went to, it's actually amazing that I know anyone who isn't black. I grew up in Detroit, which is more than 80 percent African-American. Only twice did I go to school with any white classmates. I lived in Houston for a year when I was in elementary school and it was a majority white school. And that was the first time I was in close proximity of kids from different races. Later on in high school, there was one white kid who was in my graduating class. And I do mean ONE. My graduating class, by the way, was 763 students. Going to Michigan State was a diversity playground. There were whites, Asians, Latinos, etc. I made my first Asian friend at MSU (Corey). I did not know any Latinos prior to 1993. By the time I left State, I had a handful of Latino friends. Today, that number has tripled. I have a few theories for why I don't have as many close black friendships as I used to. Now I do have plenty of black associates. I meet tons of black people. By the nature of my job, I am in regular contact with black athletes, but those typically do not lead to any sort of real friendship. I know a ridiculous number of black journalists -- some of which have become very close friends. I guess I'm being picky in the sense that I still feel as if I do not have enough non-journalist, black friends. I also realize that as you get older, your job becomes your base for making friendships. I socialize with black people on a regular basis, but my everyday, routine interactions are mostly with white people. I may meet a really cool black person at an event or some other social situation, but the fact remains that I e-mail and talk to my editors (mostly white) almost every day. The white folks will have the advantage. Personally, I think most of it is just age. As you get older, your friendships take on different meanings. Friendship becomes redefined. My close friendships, with both black and white peoples, have changed significantly over the years. It's not that I don't feel as close to my friends today as I did five or 10 years ago. I feel just as close, if not closer. I feel as if I can still tell them anything. I just feel more protective of my down time because it's not in abundance. When I have a few minutes of quiet, I don't want to fill it with endless phone calls. I want to read, watch television, or just BE. When you're younger, sitting still bores you. When you're older, you live to sit still. We tend to assume our past will determine our friendships. But I find myself more disconnected from my past than ever and there are times when I can't decide if this is good or bad. I grew up poor. I grew up on welfare. I was raised by a single mother, who struggled with drug addiction. I will never forget what it feels like not to have. I will never forget desperation. I used to be surrounded by people who lived that same experience. But now, as I survey my immediate circle, I hardly know anyone with that existence. Is that good or bad? Is that growth or denial? I don't want people to misunderstand. I am happy knowing people from different races, genders, religious, regional, and political background. I love my friends. But there's nothing wrong with taking stock of where you are and where you came from.

Oct 30th, 2008

284

Horrific

Worst injury I ever saw was in 2001. I was in Madison, Wisconsin covering a Michigan State football game. Tyrell Dortch, a running back-turned-cornerback, was covering Lee Evans on a deep pass in the end zone. Dortch went up to make a swipe at the ball came down on his lower leg. It snapped in half. Based on what I saw, I thought the kid would never walk again. It took him a year or so, but he recovered. Second-worst injury I ever saw: Willis McGahee's leg injury. It was the 2003 Fiesta Bowl, and I was covering that game, too. It was a stretch play and the hit McGahee took obliterated his leg. I thought, well there goes his professional career. Luckily for him, it didn't quite turn out that way. I'm going to say this is the third-worst injury I've ever seen. Happened last night in the Houston-Marshall game. I'm thinking this kid would have a great lawsuit. What were those carts doing there?

Oct 29th, 2008

283

A Great Prayer

I read a prayer today that had meaning for my life. I sometimes struggle with forgiveness and it is sometimes difficult for me to admit I'm wrong. I suppose that makes me like 99.9 percent of the human beings who inhabit the Earth, but I refuse to accept being that kind of person. I don't give up on people too early. I'm the opposite. I give up on them too late. Anyway, regardless of whether you believe in God, maybe this prayer will have some meaning for your life, too. Dear God, In all my relationships, please help me to forgive all who have hurt me, to seek forgiveness where I have hurt others, and give me the wisdom to know when reconciliation is or isn't advisable or possible. Give me the courage to do what I need to do no matter how painful or frightening it may be. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen.

Oct 29th, 2008

282

Tragedy and Celebrity

Like a lot of people, I am deeply troubled and saddenedby the Jennifer Hudson tragedy. Her mother and brother were killed on Friday, and her 7-year-old nephew was missing. There are reports today that her nephew's body may have been found. Police have Hudson's brother-in-law in custody, although he hasn't been charged. Life is fleeting. Tomorrow is not promised. This, we know. But it's a much different set of grief when a loved one's life has been taken at the hands of another person. The anger and anguish is unexplainable and overbearing. Years ago, my aunt died at the hands of someone else. She was in an abusive relationship (sadly not her first). My aunt was pregnant, but that did not stop her boyfriend from beating her routinely. The beatings and the stress put her in the hospital, where she died of sepsis. I loved my aunt dearly (in fact, I tattoed her name on my leg). She was troubled and gifted (her singing reminded me so much of Anita Baker). Bright, but unaware. Accepted little, but deserving of much more. She was so much better than she lived. Even after all these years, the thought of her gone still leaves a hole in my heart because I know she would be here if someone else hadn't thought so little of her life. So I'm praying for Jennifer Hudson and her family. This young woman had accomplished so much, and to have so much taken away by a cold, selfish act...it is just unfathomable. For some reason, her losses made me think of Luke 12:48, which reads: "...From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more."

Oct 27th, 2008

281

We Have Hope, We Have Mike Singletary

By now, you've probably seen the video of Mike Singletary getting in the 49ers ass for their embarassing and lackluster performance against the hapless Seahawks. Full disclosure: I'm a 49ers fan. Have been my whole life. I know I'm from Detroit, but my mother went to junior college in the Bay Area. Her favorite NFL player ever is Joe Montana. So in my household we watched the 49ers and the Lions. I just simply chose to ignore that the Lions were a legitimate football organization. Initially, I didn't want Singletary to get this job. Not because he isn't qualified. But when you take over a team in the middle of the season, the odds of you winning over the lockeroom and the organization seem iffy. If this season doesn't go well, it may hurt Singletary's chances of landing a job elsewhere. But Singletary's rant convinced me that he is the right man for the job. Some would say he went overboard, but if you're familiar with Vernon Davis' laziness, bad routes, and refusal to live up to his potential, Singletary's manhood check on Davis was a long time coming. I've always respected Mike Singletary as a player and an emerging coach, but I believe his rant will set the tone for the rest of our season. Thank God he benched J.T. O' Sullivan (I'm convinced the 'T' in his initials stands for turnover). We pretty much have to start over at QB, but there has been a lack of accountability in the locker room for the longest. We have two great building blocks in Patrick Willis and Frank Gore, and we've squandered their talent with poor execution, poor coaching and uninspired play. So thank you Mike Singletary for putting those guys on blast. They deserve it. I am officially rooting for you to be our next head coach.

Oct 27th, 2008

280

Thank You, Dana Jacobsen

I've only won a bet maybe three times in my life. The first time was in Las Vegas. I had heard craps was the game to play. I had no idea what was I was doing. In fact, my boyfriend told me what to bet over the phone. And in a span of 30 seconds I went from 50 bucks to about $400. I was so scared I quit. The second time also came at the craps table. I was covering the Sugar Bowl the year LSU beat Oklahoma and they were having a special media event at Harrah's casino. Again, I started with $50. Next thing I knew I was up to about $1,500. This time, I kept betting. My rule was that I couldn't lose less than my rent money. I walked away with $800. Thank you snake eyes. On Saturday, I won the third bet of my life and it far surpasses the other two. I made an on-air bet with First Take host Dana Jacobsen on the Michigan-Michigan State game (I went to Michigan State and she went to Michigan). The Spartans beat U-M down. They not only broke a six-game losing streak to the Wolverines, but MSU beat Michigan in Ann Arbor for the first time since 1990. Our bet was that the loser had to donate to the winner's charity. I chose the Steve Smith Scholarship fund, an endowment that helps Detroit Pershing High School students attend MSU. This charity struck a chord with me because I'm a product of the Detroit Public School system. So thanks Dana for helping put a Spartan through college!

Oct 27th, 2008

279

NBA Picks (Western Conference)

I had not forgotten that I owed you my Western Conference picks. I was just trying to create some dramatic tension. I promise it had nothing to do with the fact I've been consumed with my fantasy football teams the last couple days. Nothing at all. Anyway, you can check out the picks from me and our other ESPN experts here. Or you can just read along below if you just care what I think. WESTERN CONFERENCE NORTHWEST 1. Utah: I can't figure out what the Jazz are missing. They have a potentially great PG, depth, scoring, inside presence and a bench. They should be a favorite. But I can't put them there because, despite having my boy, Jerry Sloan as a coach, they just strike me as a mentally weak team. For me to believe, the Jazz need to prove they can be just as deadly on the road as they are at home. 2. Portland: Without Greg Oden, Portland won 41 games. So what will they do with Oden? The Trailblazers could be this year's New Orleans. 3. Denver: They got rid of two of their best defensive players, Marcus Camby and Eduardo Najera. You're going to look up some nights and see Denver losing game 135-120. 4. Oklahoma City: A change of scenery certainly doesn’t make this roster any better. It's probably too much for me to ask that Kevin Durant have better shot selection. I’m real curious to see how Russell Westbrook will do. 5. Minnesota: I don’t see how this team doesn’t finish with the worst record in the NBA. Al Jefferson is a great player on a bad team. Lottery pick Corey Brewer needs to develop an offense. PACIFIC 1. Lakers: Failing in the Finals is not a legacy Kobe is willing to live with. Andrew Bynum for most improved player? 2. Phoenix: With all the young guns in the West, this is a bad time for the Suns to be old. Steve Nash is a step slower. Shaq is more motivated because this is swan song, but he's still old and dreadful in the pick and roll. Don’t be surprised if this team flirts with not making the playoffs. 3. Clippers: Although I’m an admitted Baron Davis apologist, it's a huge red flag that he's starting off the season on the injured list (again). They flat-out stole Marcus Camby. He and Chris Kaman will be monstrous inside, but that's not enough to overcome losing Brand and Maggette. 4. Golden State: The Warriors will barely survive Monta Ellis' 30-game suspension. Adding Corey Maggette makes them even more potent. But two words guarantee they won’t make the playoffs: DE-FENSE. 5. Sacramento: Kevin Martin is dangerously underrated. I the effort the Kings give, but they just don’t have enough to make a respectable leap. SOUTHWEST 1. New Orleans: Although I see LeBron winning his first MVP this year, Chris Paul will be King James most serious challenger for that honor. This team is a perfect blend of youth and experience. Adding Robert Horry 2.0 (James Posey) makes a huge difference. 2. San Antonio: The Spurs might get off to a slow start because of Manu Ginobli’s early-season absence, but they'll round into form just in time to remind everyone they're the every-other-year champion. Very encouraging that Michael Finley came back 20 pounds lighter 3. Houston: If Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady can stay healthy -- which is almost like saying, if R Kelly can date age appropriate -- the Rockets are a great darkhorse to win the West. With Ron Artest, they'll probably be the best defensive team in the NFL. 4. Dallas: Too many teams are moving ahead of Dallas and the Mavericks are still stuck with the same-old problem. Dirk Nowitzki, while a franchise player, is not a closer. The Mavericks have been sliding backward since going to the 2006 NBA Finals. This might be the year they don’t make the postseason. 5. Memphis: O.J. Mayo is better than I expected and he'll give Beasley a run for ROY. But the Grizz are still in rebuilding mode. Don’t expect much defense with such a young team. WESTERN CONFERENCE PLAYOFF SEEDS 1. Lakers 2. New Orleans 3. Utah 4. Houston 5. San Antonio 6. Portland 7. Dallas 8. Phoenix

Oct 26th, 2008

278

The NFL's Affirmative Action

There was some outrage this week when the NFL voided a contract that stipulated that if Jim Haslett won six games, he would be the Rams next head coach. The contract was voided because it violated the Rooney Rule, which was established five years ago to make sure that minority candidates were being interviewed for head coaching jobs. I used to have mixed feelings about the Rooney rule. I never had a problem with the spirit of the rule and you certainly can argue that it's worked. If left to their own devices, owners would continue to hire coaches who look just like them (white, male) and there wasn't any doubt something had to be done so that more minority coaches could crack the inner circle. The NFL currently has seven black head coaches, which I'm going to guess is the highest in league history. What made me uncomfortable was when teams gave minority coaches token interviews just to fit the rule's requirements. Some people argued that, at the very least, the rule allowed a minority candidate the opportunity to put his name in the pipeline. I worried that was insulting. I'd have a real problem going into an interview knowing I wasn't being seriously considered for the job. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that most of the significant racial advances we've made in this country have come under duress and by force. Slavery ended after a war. The Civil Rights Movement was one of the most tumultuous in history. In this country, change rarely comes for change's sake. Anyway, I brought this all up because Haslett's situation reminds me that sometimes you have to make things uncomfortable to attain a larger victory. The people who don't like the Rooney Rule are forgetting how things generally work in our society. By and large, the Haslett scenario is a gross exception. The contract void doesn't mean Haslett won't eventually get the job. I'm sure that if the Rams really want to hire him, they'll dial up Denny Green, give him a token interview, and then proceed with Haslett. So, it's not like a white man is really being kept out of a job. If any situation deserved outrage, it was Matt Millen's. See, that's some affirmative action on steroids, and it's the kind of affirmative action that is overlooked and treated as the norm. The No. 1 complaint of the anti-affirmative action crowd is that unqualified minorities are promoted or hired at the detriment of upstanding, white males, who have worked hard to get an opportunity. Nothing in society is absolute, so I'm sure that happens. But again, those are exceptions. Matt Millen is the rule. Millen was a television broadcaster who got promoted to general manager. From the broadcast booth to the executive office? How many minorities ever receive an opportunity like that? And when Millen first signed on with the Lions, he wasn't given a deal that was on par with his lack of experience. He was given a deal reserved for an experienced, proven GM. The Lions signed him for five years, $25 million. All he did was completely ruin a franchise that had been inept for 50 years. It's saying something that the Millen took the Lions -- who have one playoff win in the modern NFL era -- to worst depths of their franchise. And then despite being one of the worst general managers in the history of sports, Millen was given a contract extension. Why? Because owner William Clay Ford, who is white, really liked him. Considered him like a son. Millen, as you know, was eventually fired. But he will leave the executive suite with no less than $35-40 million. Now that's something to be upset about. A guy got paid that kind of money and stunk. Now you may be thinking, "but that was the Lions. They are one of the most awful NFL franchises in history. They don't count." OK, well, let's talk about our President. How ironic that the man who redefined affirmative action is anti-affirmative action. When the Supreme Court ruled it was unconstitutional for the Universitiy of Michigan to give applicants additional points for race, George "I Got The Hook Up" Bush was the first to speak up and applaud the decision. You mean the same guy who got into Yale because of his father and grandfather now has a problem with people gaining extra admission points for a qualification other than merit? Extra points for race is bad, but it's all good to receive them for family. Everything Dubya ever achieved was on the hook-up, including the presidency. He was considered a subpar businessman, and if not for a well-connected family, he'd be another aimless rich kid. I'm baffled as to how the Bush or Millen path to success never raises an eyebrow, but a situation like Haslett's becomes some kind of indictment on a system whose true goal is just to open the pipeline. The Rooney Rule doesn't promise anyone "undeserving" a job. But the old boys system promises there will be Millens abound.

Oct 26th, 2008

277

NBA Picks (Eastern Conference)

Like a kid on Christmas Eve, I just didn't have the patience to wait until opening night of the NBA to unveil my sure-to-be-terrible NBA picks. But first, a step back in time. A quick look at some of the gems I dropped in last year's picks. - Although I picked the Atlanta Hawks to finish fourth in the Southeast and 11th overall, I did have this to say: " A good dark horse to make a surprise playoff run. Al Horford and Acie Law are great additions and let's hope this is the year Marvin Williams shows why he was the No. 2 pick in 2005." - But then I stupidly said this of the Chicago Bulls, who I picked to finish second in the Central and the No. 2 seed in the East: "Good enough to win the East and a serious threat to topple Detroit's supremacy in the Central. They have nearly every component and adding Joe Smith should help them shore up their inside scoring." And the Bulls went on to be the biggest disappointment of the NBA season. Great pick by me. - I'm not sure which was worse, picking Chicago to finish second in their division or picking Dallas to finish first in the West (they were eliminated in the first round by the Hornets, who I slotted as an eighth seed). That's why the Mavs are dead to me this year. Anyway, here's this year's picks along with ESPN's other NBA experts. But for you, faithful readers, I'm posting my picks here just in case you don't feel like hassling with our team-by-team format. ATLANTIC 1. Boston: The key to a Celtics repeat is Rajon Rondo. If he’s a weapon, it’ll be nearly impossible to stop this team. 2. Philadelphia: Brand gives this young, athletic team stability a go-to half-court scorer. Might be a year away from serious contention, but I wouldn’t be surprised if their success was accelerated. 3. Toronto: If Jermaine O’Neal can stay healthy, Chris Bosh will have a superstar season. Jose Calderon being entrenched at the point makes a huge difference in floor chemistry. Enough talent to be a top-4 seed. 4. New York Knicks: Even with Mike D’Antoni, I don't see how the Knicks woeful chemistry doesn't lead to brutal results. They need to swallow their pride and cut Marbury loose. Otherwise this will be the fifth straight season they don’t make the playoffs. 5. New Jersey: Only three holdovers from last season, which is a good thing. The question: How many games will Vince Carter mail in? CENTRAL 1. Cleveland: LeBron finally gets an adequate running mate on the perimeter in Mo Williams. Given the way he dominated the Olympics, this should be LeBron’s MVP year. Cavs will compete for the top seed in the East. 2. Detroit: Giving youngsters Rodney Stuckey and Amir Johnson bigger roles should help motivate the Pistons. They seem to respect rookie head coach Michael Curry, but it’s fair to question how much vets like Billups and Rasheed have left. 3. Chicago: Derrick Rose will be an exciting addition, but I’m not sure how Ben Gordon's nasty contract situation will impact the rest of the team. Still too thin and inconsistent in the frontcourt. 4. Milwaukee: Bogut needs to take another step and solidify himself as one of the league’s top big men. Richard Jefferson is a terrific addition and although Scott Skiles tends to wear on players, the Bucks will be significantly better defensively. Maybe even enough to make the playoffs. 5. Indiana: Lots of new parts, but I'm not sure how they fit. T.J. Ford stabilizes them at PG, and Roy Hibbert should make nice contributions. They’re just not ready to compete in that division. SOUTHEAST 1. Orlando: Coming off a career year, it’s hard to demand more of Dwight Howard. But unless he really is Superman, the Magic are just a run-of-the-mill playoff team. They don't have the point guard for a deeper playoff run. 2. Miami: It seems unrealistic to expect one player to turn a 15-win team into a division contender, but that’s how much stock I put into D Wade’s Olympic performance. Beasley is the ROY and if Shawn Marion stuffs the box scores like normal, the Heat will be the comeback team of the year. 3. Washington: Groundhog Day. Washington's fate again rests on Gilbert Arenas’ knees. This team is nothing more than an eventual first-round exit. 4. Atlanta: The Hawks should be confident after pushing the Celtics to a seven-game series, but I'm not convinced this team can be engaged a full season. Losing Josh Childress hurts. 5. Charlotte: Larry Brown is at his best when he has a roster that doesn’t make any sense. He’ll be motivated to eradicate that stinker he laid in New York, but this roster is just too weak to expect anything. EASTERN CONFERENCE PLAYOFF SEEDS 1. Boston 2. Cleveland 3. Detroit 4. Philadelphia 5. Orlando 6. Miami 7. Toronto 8. Washington

Oct 22nd, 2008

276

Me, Mine And Lou Holtz's

I don't think it's a coincidence I received this today from a former high school classmate: "I just wanted everyone to know, that though we may go through many trials, or changes in Life. We are all the better for it. Stay encouraged no matter what you are dealing with. There truly is a loving, all-knowing God, and he provided us with a Big Brother-Jesus! I wish I could stay in better contact with each and every one of you, but Life just gets so busy. Please let me know how you are doing. I always like to get messages from my friends. I'll be in touch. Be Blessed, XXXX P.S. Smile more , it keeps you young. The last couple days I've been innudated with calls and e-mails because of the Lou Holtz controversy. He made an inappropriate Hitler reference. I made an inappropriate Hitler reference. We both apologized, but only I was suspended. A lot has been written about this. Many have said (and written) that ESPN treated me unfairly. The 64,000 question: How do I really feel? My initial answer is a story, or rather, a moment. A couple years ago, I was visiting the Poynter Institute (one of the foremost journalism think tanks in the country) and I sat in on a session taught by one of my favorite columnists and people, the Washington Post's Sally Jenkins. A student asked her if she ever got upset when other writers were rewarded -- particuarly those writers who weren't as good. And Sally said -- and I'm paraphrasing here -- that she always prided herself on keeping her eyes on her own career. I never forgot that. That's my answer. That's how I feel.

Oct 21st, 2008

275

Maybe She Wouldn't Do The Soul Train line

At some point, something that isn't supposed to be funny...is going to be funny. Don Cornelius getting arrested for domestic violence is a terrific example of unintentional comedy. The Soul Train guy is trying to whup somebody? Unreal. First, he's 72. He's a little too old to summon his inner Ike Turner. Besides, after you reach a certain age, there are just certain crimes you just can't be associated with. Domestic violence. Possession of crack. Armed robbery. Those are young folks crimes. At 72, I'll give you trespassing. Maybe a little gun case. A weed charge. The only thing Don Cornelius needed to be raising his hand for is Ciallis.

Oct 19th, 2008

274

Madonna, Will You Marry Me?

Madonna, I know you're busy with A-Rod, but I'm wondering if you'll go out with me. Hey, it's not like you haven't dated women before. When I read that you paid ex-husband, Guy Ritchie, $60 million to get the (hell) on, I knew you were the woman for me. You and Oprah, that is. I'd like to think my biggest selling point other than my excellent conversational skills is that I'm considerably cheaper than virtually any man in your life. Just pay my mortgage, electricity and Internet bill, and I'm sure I'll be no trouble at all. I'll sign a pre-nup and give you my first born. Also, my liver. Though after Friday night's happy hour I'm not exactly sure if that's worth much. I'll listen to you. I'll tell you over and over that "Holiday" and "Lucky Star" are the two-best songs ever made. I'll read your children's books to the kids. I'll tell you that you don't look a day over 39. I'm not sure about Kabbalah, but I can pretty sure I can fake interest in it. I'll even buy "Desperately Seeking Susan" on blu-ray. I know you're a little skeptical about relationships, but please consider me. You don't have to be alone, gurl.

Oct 19th, 2008

273

Thoughts On Pacman Jones

Yes, I still call him Pacman. Not to be disrespectful, but it kind of rolls off the keyboard, you know? I know he was trying to change his "image," but it's one catchy nickname. Anyway, I'm sure you've heard by now that Pacman was suspended a minimum of four games -- could be longer depending on how Roger "Judge" Dredd -- for being involved in an altercation with his bodyguard at a Dallas hotel. Before we get into the thick of a discussion and my personal views on Pacman, let me give you some statistics first. 34 games, 140 tackles, four interceptions, one touchdown. Those are Pacman's stats. They're not that impressive. So I ask you: How has a player who has done so little become such a flashpoint? Ah, now things get tricky. I don't have a problem with Pacman being suspended. He violated the terms of his NFL probation. It was a fight that involved alcohol and Pacman signed an agreement saying he wouldn't drink. No doubt, he's busted. I do not sympathize with Pacman, but I can understand how this became a frustrating dynamic. He essentially was in a situation where he had no civil liberties. Yes, you could argue he earned that punishment. But you could also see why it might put a strain between him and Jerry Jones' paid handlers. Pacman is undeniably immature. This is no surprise, either. He grew up in the projects. His father was murdered when he was 4. His mother went to prison for three years. His grandmother, who helped raise him, died of cancer when he was in college. His background put things in perspective. By her own admission, his mother said she has been in every jail in Georgia. She has sold dope. She didn't raise her son. Mix that in the privilege associated with being a talented athlete, and it's a dangerous cocktail. Pacman's poor decision making is simply a result of a mass infestation. Pacman's punishment is, in many ways irrelevant. It's the reaction that is unsettling, and sometimes the lack of perspective. Contrary to what you might read or hear, Pacman is not the Worst Person In The World. He is just a person -- immature, funny, self-absorbed, charming, athletic, idiotic, spoiled. He's complicated. He is not the NFL's first criminal. He is not the first athlete to make shitty choices. But for some reason, when minority athletes make bad choices or get in trouble, the demonization of them reaches an astonishing level. Michael Vick going to prison was huge news. Maybe the biggest NFL story in 10 years. It's not often the highest-paid quarterback in the league -- and arguably the most popular -- goes to jail for dogfighting. But the way that consumed the news and became a referendum on race, class, black manhood and everything else was just...too much. The only other person to inspire a similar level of outrage is Pacman. On Sportscenter, they played a clip of a Dallas sports talk show host talking about Pacman. Well, he wasn't "talking." It was a full-on, head-exploding rant. Based off his venom, you would have thought Pacman smacked his momma, held his sister at gunpoint and buried his children alive. Many journalism studies have been done about the impact images have on viewership. The book, "The Black Image In The White Mind," explores how racially-charged imagery provokes misleading steretypes and unsafe racial judgments. For example: The authors of this book found that even though black people are the ones most victimized by crime, the majority of newscasts are dominated by stories of white crime victims. The book also stated: "Dramatic shots of violent crime victims and perpetrators, mostly black, are more vivid and much easier to come by than dramatic shots of white-collar-crime victims and perpetrators. White slumlords, whose building code violations cause deadly fires, are shielded by their lawyers and are rarely, if ever, paraded for the benefit of TV news cameras in police-induced "perp walks." Television, unlike newspapers and radio, makes racial identity an inevitable element of its news stories since it's essentially a picture medium." I've seen the video of Pacman, with dreads, leaving jail, at least 100 times. Maybe more. That image is shown to titillate and perpetuate the idea that he's an animal to be feared. It inflates the stereotype of the dangerous, predatory black man. I'm not saying it is never appropriate to show perp walks or mug shots. When Whitney Houston went to pick up Bobby Brown when he was released from jail, you had to show that. Whitney acted a fool. I'm not even saying that crimes involving black athletes shouldn't be undercovered, or that the mainstream media should take it easy on black athletes when they are accused of crime. But just curious: Where were the cameras when Matt Jones or Brett Myers had to do their perp walk? There's a reason networks continue to show footage of O.J. Simpson looking relieved after he was acquitted 13 years ago. There's a reason they used to run shots of O.J. on the golf course. O.J. seemed to welcome and encourage the spotlight, but we created a blinking, red sign that read: HEY, THIS BLACK GUY GOT AWAY WITH MURDER. HOW DARE HE BREATHE? Is it intentional? No, but it's ingrained and institutional. Imagery can be dangerous, particularly now that we live in a 24-hour media world. The avalanche is sharper and much more dangerous. This is how Pacman, a solid football player who never was great, became such a flashpoint.

Oct 14th, 2008

272

Anatomy Of A Groupie

I'm a people watcher. I like sizing people up and imagining personalities and tendencies. I like dissecting body language. I like figuring out what makes people tick from a glimpse. One of my favorite places to watch people is at da club. It's fascinating to see the power clicks form in a club. The Too Cool To Be Touched women on this side of the room. The Fake Ballers on that side. The Look But Don't Touch Celebrities up top. A friend and I used to go to a bar or club and play this game called, How Low Would You Go? I'd pick out women and within 10 seconds my boy had to decide whether or not he'd sleep with her. When you play this game, you can't just pick out someone who is really cute or even fairly disturbing. It has to be someone borderline. Someone, who after five or six Patrons, you'd have to make a serious executive decision. Maybe he or she has a killer body, but they've got a food stamp face. Maybe she's got a cute face, but rusty knees and elbows. These are the real dilemmas of life. The gray areas. Last night, I went to New York to hang a bit and got the supreme people-watching experience -- Groupies V. Athletes. Nothing is more entertaining than groupies jockeying for position with athletes at da club. It's so comical. It's so grimy. It's so fun. Sure, on some level I'm embarrassed for all women when I see these broads -- and yes, under these circumstances they are broads -- engaging in the ridiculous pursuit of a player. But it's kind of like watching one of those nature shows with lions or other predatory animals. You know what will eventually happen, but analyzing the chase is the captivating part. Anyway, I was shooting the shit with an ex-NFL player and as we were talking, it was hilarious to see the lengths the broads went to get his attention. This one chick pretty much grabbed her ankles and did a dance I think I last saw in Nelly's "Tip Drill." Of course, many of these broads were running the "Oh, you're a professional athlete? I didn't know" game. I wish athletes still weren't falling for that, but trust me, they are. As always, I remain impressed by the sheer volume of women that bombard professional athletes. Last night, they came in waves, like tacklers that swarm the running back. Tall. Short. Long hair. Short hair. Petite. Voluptious. Light skinned. Dark skinned. White. Asian. Latino. Of all the athletes that were there, I think only one was married (not that it mattered), but it reaffirmed my belief that very few professional athletes have the conviction or fortitude to be faithful. I'm sure some have done it, but if I had to guess, I'd say less than 10 percent of players in every major sport are faithful. Most men are only as faithful as their options. It's one thing to turn down a woman every few months, or even every couple of days. But 45 women in 20 minutes? That's just ig'nant. Can't be done. At some point, the resolve weakens. This one former NFL player who hasn't played in the league in four seasons had six or seven different girls surrounding him every 15-20 minutes. Impressive. Upset of the night: There were several NBA guys there and I'll be honest, they could not compete with the football guys. From my experience, this doesn't typically happen. NBA guys, by far, have a deeper groupie pool. They're more recognizable. Their money is guaranteed. It's a rarity for a NFL dude to have a $100 million contract or make that kind of money over the course of a career. Meanwhile, half the NBA has made 100 mil. So I consider it a huge upset that the football guys were hogging all chicks. Maybe it's because the NFL guys had reserved tables, and therefore unlimited alcohol. Nothing is more of a broad magnet than free drinks. Or the chance to sit down 'cause the stilettos the broad has been wearing all night are annihilating her feet. Or it could be that the NBA players not generating a whole lot of juice were the New York Knicks. Team is so bad even the groupies are passing them up.

Oct 14th, 2008

271

A Fresh N-Word Debate

How many of you saw Chris Rock's latest HBO special "Kill The Messenger?" It was funny as hell. During one portion of the show, CR addresses the Imus controversy and the idea that you have to be more careful than ever with what you say. Not surprisingly, he touched upon usage of the word, nigger. Or, nigga, if you prefer. CR, in his last HBO special, gave what I thought was a brilliant monologue about how black people hate niggas too. Anyway, in his latest stand-up, CR says people seem to completely forget context when debating whether something is appropriate to say. CR talked about how the N-word was buried by the NAACP. To which CR responded: "Well, tonight is Easter." Well, one of my favorite columnists in the country, Leonard Pitts, has challenged Chris Rock about his use of the N-word. It's a good column and I learned something interesting: Richard Pryor stopped using the n-word. Kinda reminds me of Dave Chappelle, who didn't stop using the word, but admitted the popularity the word gained because of his show made him extremely uncomfortable. According to Pitts, Kanye West also is trying to limit his use of nigga. Still, the larger debate is about context. But with nigger (and nigga) having such a hateful, turbulent awful history, can context even be entered into the discussion? And if you agree that context of the word is important, does that mean that white people should be given the context luxury, too? I remain divided. It's hard to justify use of the word, given the history of it. But I think it's equally difficult to deny African Americans, specifically, their right to put the word in whatever context they see fit. Historically, we earned that right. I've seen nigger (and nigga) used brilliantly and artistically. CR's comic diatribe about black people and niggas, was exceptional. And, true. Mos Def's song, "Mr. Nigga" is poignant too: Who is cat eating out on the town And make the whole dining room turn they head around Mr Nigga Nigga Nigga He got the speakers in the trunk With the bass on pump(?) Who be riding up in the highrise elevator Other tenants who be praying they ain't the new neighbor Mr Nigga, Nigga Nigga They try to play him like a chump Cause he got what they want Truthfully, aren't all words about context? Some of my friends have jokingly referred to me as a bitch. Now do I want my boss calling me that? Um, no. Different context. So who do you agree with: CR or Leonard Pitts?

Oct 11th, 2008

270

Gary Smith, My Man

If I had to decide on a Mount Rushmore of sports writers, Ralph Wiley and Gary Smith would be on it. Regrettably, I never met Wiley, who I consider to be the greatest African-American sports writer EVER. At worst, of my lifetime. Wiley was so incredible it took your breath away. Read Wiley's O.J Simpson column. I dare you not to be impressed. Like Wiley, Sports Illustrated's Gary Smith also takes my breath away. He's the only sportswriter who has ever wrote something that reduced me to tears -- "Higher Learning" and "Crime and Punishment." If you don't cry, seriously, you're a monster. Anyway, about eight years ago I wrote Gary a letter. I never anticipated he'd write back, but he did. 10 pages, in fact. It was an awesome letter. It's not that often that people you admire live up to your expectations, but Gary does in every imaginable way. I got the opportunity to interview Gary and it was one of the best experiences I've ever had. I was really nervous for the interview, but Gary put me totally at ease. I see why that guy is so good. Even if you don't read the interview, please make sure you read his stories. You will not find anyone better.

Oct 9th, 2008

269

Please Let Reincarnation Exist

Further proof why, if reincarnation exists, I'm coming back as a white man. Now I'm not saying some black folks haven't been extended the courtesy of drug court over real court. Matt Jones' "sentence" is more so about privilege and status than race. He was caught in Arkansas, where he starred in college, and local law enforcement looked out for him. MJ's boys took the rap for the cocaine, which is exactly what your boys are supposed to do in that situation (Are Michael Vick's friends listening?). The real disappointment is Roger "Judge Dredd" Goodell. He suspended Pacman Jones without a conviction. He suspended Chris Henry for four games this season, and the charges against Henry were dropped. I realize both Jones and Henry are habitual offenders, but the fact remains that MJ was initially charged with a felony and him being in the very presence of cocaine is an embarrassment to the NFL. With all that the NFL has done to clean up the perception it's a league of drug abusers, the NFL should have suspended and fined Jones. But lucky for him he was Matt Jones, not Adam Jones.

Oct 8th, 2008

268

Back In The Fold

Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. Been tied down with life. Here's what I've been up to: - Got pulled over by the cops in L.A. for talking on my cellphone without a hands free device. The cop really made me feel like a fugitive. He was barking instructions in the loud speaker, and since high-speed police chases are the rage in L.A., other cars just started careening out of the way. The officer is shouting, "put the phone down now, m'aam! now!" I'm thinking, am I about to catch a Rodney King over the Sprint Touch? Thankfully once my vehicle was stopped, the cop was much cooler. I got away with a warning because of two things: 1) I've got a Florida driver's license and here in the Sunshine State, we can talk on our cellphones and crash into stuff as much as we want. 2) I know Jim Rome. I swear I didn't pull the "do you know who I am" or anything because, frankly, nobody knows who I am. But the cop asked me what I was doing in L.A., and I said, working. Guess that was kinda vague, so just to be assured that I wasn't smuggling crack or ho's, he asked me who I worked for. I told him, ESPN. And then he got all interested and asked what I was doing for ESPN in L.A, and I dropped that I was on Rome's show for the week. Then he became my BFF. He loves Rome. Hey, whatever works. - Second straight week I've picked up wins in both of my fantasy leagues. Thank you DeAngelo Williams, who had a 30-point performance against the Chiefs. And thank you Robert Meachem for not catching shit against the Vikings, allowing me to escape with a two-point victory. I'm now 3-2 in both of my leagues. - I'm in a book club (stop your frickin' snickering) and I'm reading this really good novel, American Wife, by Curtis Sittenfeld. It's lightweight chick-ish, but it's wonderfully written and I'm really enjoying it. I definitely recommend it. As for why I'm in a book club...it's been my mission to get back into pleasure reading. When I was a kid, I lived in the library. College pretty much burned me out on pleasure reading. The downside to being a journalist is that you develop a shorter attention span over time. I went through a period where I just didn't have the patience to read. Anyway, this book club was a good way for me to rediscover the joys of reading. - Speaking of books, I can't recommend enough that you all check out Jeff Pearlman's "Boys Will Be Boys," which is an intimate look at the Cowboys dynasty in the 1990s. This is a fantastic read. Lots of juicy stuff, including Charles Haley's penchant for masturbating in front of his teammates. - I've got a lot of thoughts on the O.J. Simpson guilty verdict. My column on it should post either today or tomorrow. To sum it up: Juice got railroaded. Glad to be back.

Oct 8th, 2008

267

Ain't No Fun When The Rabbit Got The Gun

I've probably listened and read more about finances, the economy and the stock market in the last week than I have my entire life. Like a lot of people, I'm concerned with how this bailout affects my quality of life. But something occurred to me when the original bailout plan failed. I was happy to see American greed fall on its ass. I love my country and serve it the best way I know how. I am grateful to live here and enjoy these freedoms. But I get mad at America, particularly when I feel she isn't living up to her potential or doing her best. We're a whole lot better than what we have become. I wasn't proud of America, but I am real proud of Americans, who, for the first time in my lifetime, appear to be restless and hungering for change. I'm glad we're clogging up government websites and voicing out concerns to our representatives. I'm glad many politicians fear they won't be re-elected if they vote for the bailout. I'm glad we have become so disappointed in our president that he couldn't deliver on his bailout. Considering he lied to us and engaged our young people in the war in Iraq, he deserves absolutely zero sympathy. Wall Street fought Main Street and Main Street pushed back. 'Bout damn time. I'm blessed because I still have my job and my home, but there are a lot of people out there who have lost their jobs at homes. It would be one thing if this bailout provided some financial assistance to the people who were really suffering, but it's providing relief to people who have made poor decisions, yet still have money we can't even fathom. What's ironic is that the same class of people who are said to be dire need of billions are the same people who likely turn their nose up at welfare. So, it's OK to give rich people a billion-dollar bridge card, but poor people have to "pull themselves up by the bootstraps?" If a mother of three asks for an extra $100 a month from government to feed her kids, she's lazy and trifling. But Washington Mutual and Bear Sterns are "victims." As my momma often says, "ain't no fun when the rabbit got the gun." This bailout will eventually pass. And like it or not, to some degree the wealthy have to be cared for in order to ensure the overall health of our economy. But for a couple of days, it was nice to see the rich, important folks scramble, struggle and fret.

Oct 1st, 2008

266

NFL Week 3: Two Tragedies, Two Inspirations

Quickly: Very glad the bailout failed in the House, but more on that later... The NFL typically offers us bone-crushing hits, big, dumb fun, and a stress-free escape from the doldrums of reality. But in the last 24 or so hours, the NFL has provided a sobering testament of the human will. First, Tampa Bay kicker Matt Bryant kicked three field goals and three extra points a day after burying his 3-month-old son, Tryson. And Monday, Jacksonville doctors announced Jags' lineman Richard Collier is paralyzed and had to have his leg amputated. Collier was shot 14 times earlier this month. Police have made no arrests. I can't even imagine what both of these families are going through. I don't have any children, but I know the loss of a child is unfathomable. The cycle of life is that children bury their parents, not the other way around. But to bury your child before they've ever even lived is even more cruel. Collier's tragic situation just brings one thing to mind: Decisions, decisions, DECISIONS. In no way did Collier deserve what happened to him. But his tragedy shows how quickly even seemingly inane choices can change your life forever. The evening Collier was shot was just supposed to be a normal night of clubbing. It ended with him nearly losing his life, and completely losing his livelihood. I thank God every day because I know there were times I've put myself in a bad situation and it's only by the grace of God that my life wasn't irrevocably altered, too. One of our flaws as humans is putting too much stock in tomorrow. Life isn't long. It's fleeting. You blink and 20 years have passed. We believe that even if we make a bad decision, somehow we'll make our way out of it. But we never stop to ask ourselves: What if we aren't given the time to correct it? Live for today.

Sep 30th, 2008

265

Race, Genetics, Fear

My article on the lack of white tailbacks in college and the NFL brought me in contact with author Jon Entine, who wrote the controversial book "Why Black Athletes Dominate Sports And Why We're Afraid To Talk About It." It's a fascinating subject and it got me to thinking about a few things. Entine, in my opinion, is far from Jimmy "The Greek." He's done detailed genetic research that shows descendents of West Africa -- that would cover a significant number of African Americans -- have fast-twitch muscles that lend itself to dominating sports requiring speed and jumping. You trace the course of the slave trade, and it shows quite clearly that Jamaica -- a country we just saw explode in track and field -- was a frequent stop of slaves ships. I took several African-American history courses throughout college and every book I read pretty much said the same thing. Slave masters recruited the smartest, most physically capable people to become slaves. Hence why Nas routinely says, we come from kings and queens. So, if we all know this to be true, why is it always controversial to suggest that sports dominance by blacks is somehow a stereotype? Don't worry, I've got a theory. I don't have a problem buying into this genetic research because it's about region, not race. There is little question descendents from regions across the world have particular genetic traits. It's that way in the United States. When college coaches want speed, where do they go? The South. Why? You have a population that spends the majority of time outside. (Sidenote: My buddy, Eric Adelson, wrote a great piece about why there's so much speed in Florida) Anyway, the issue is that if genetic dominance by a particular group is assumed, it almost seemingly comes at the expense of intellect. Now Entine and other researchers will tell you that while genetics can give athletes a head start, their determination, attitude, and intellect ultimately determines how successful they'll be as an athlete. The public, however, doesn't it see it that way. Black athletes are routinely stereotyped as being useless from the neck up. Even outside of athletics, blacks are not often singled out for the intelligence. On the other side of it, the message is sent regularly that white athletes are successful because they're smarter than everyone they play against -- even if they display a physical dominance that is similar to most black athletes. Chris Paul is just as smart as Steve Nash, but you don't hear many people praising Paul for being a great decision maker. Last year, during the NCAA player of the year discussions, the words used most often to describe Tyler Hansbrough were "hard-working," "leadership," and "court saavy." Michael Beasley was described as "smooth," and having a game that "made it look easy." Subconsciously, it plants the idea that Beasley doesn't have to work as hard because he's black and therefore his success is a given. My feeling is that people -- particularly black folks -- wouldn't bristle at the idea that genetics play a role in sports dominance IF African Americans also were given their due as thinkers. One final thought: Another thing Entine pointed out when I interviewed him is that he thought it was racist of the media to suggest that black people succeeded at sports because some of them come from impoverished backgrounds. I think he's right. Certainly I've heard and talked to many athletes who have said they felt sports were their only option to a better life. But it's society (media included) that has made them feel that way. Most of us crave universal acceptance, and that's what sports offers (along with money and fame, of course). Anyway, Entine points out if it were really true that poverty was a catalyst to athletic success, why aren't impoverished countries more dominant at the Olympics? For example, India -- which has unbelievable poverty -- has a horrible record in the international sports community. I need to get back to my fantasy team, but before I go, take a look at an article Entine wrote during Ray Lewis' murder trial. Fascinating stuff.

Sep 28th, 2008

263

This Bailout Stinks

Imagine you are CEO of Tiddlywinks International. Imagine you did such a shitty job of running Tiddlywinks International that the company's debt tripled under your leadership, and you also torpedoed Tiddlywink's future by saddling it to a bunch of awful loans. What punishment do you deserve?: A) A raise and for all your bad debt to be absolved B) A swift kick in the ass C) A pimp slap If you're a rational human being, you answered either B or C. If you're the federal government, you circled A. According to just about everybody, the federal goverment is on the verge of passing a $700 billion bailout package to a bunch of rich people who made really stupid-ass decisions. Best way to put it. So tell 'em what we, the taxpayer, has won, Bob: A debt that will reach about 11.3 trillion. Yeahhhhhh! And here's the rub: We have to accept it. Key words: HAVE TO. If we don't bail out these criminally stupid companies and their lowlife execs, the economy is screwed. During the Great Depression, unemployment rates soared over 25 percent and analysts predict something similarly dire could happen if we don't bail these companies out. None of us want a depression, but the idea of rescuing these undeserving companies makes me throw up in my mouth. The old saying is, "make me feel good about spending my money." But that's not what will happen here. Read a great column today by Detroit's Susan Tompor, who said these business executives need to do what renown businessman Lee Iacocca when his company, Chrysler, received a bailout. Iacocca cut his salary to $1 a year because he was asking his workers to take extensive paycuts, and he couldn't face them having sacrificed nothing. Iacocca had what's known as common human decency, or CHD. But these Wall Street CEOs are balking at the idea of not being able to take home parachute packages that would promise them millions. As Americans, we deserve better. Most of us would concede that our financial markets need a serious jolt. But what I -- we -- can't live with is saving people with such an absurd sense of entitlement. There's apart of me that would rather the economy plummet than see those people walk away with the deal of a lifetime. I can only hope Congress grows a pair and stipulates that the bailout won't pass unless these million-dollar executives walk away with nothing. But that would be too much like right.

Sep 25th, 2008

262

Shows I Refuse To Watch

I'm very stubborn about my entertainment. If a movie is enormously popular or trendy, I'll just refuse to see it. I saw Pulp Fiction two or three years after it came out because I just got so sick of people telling me how great it was. Know what? It was pretty good. Other than just mystifying obstinence, I come up with a lot of dumb reasons not to watch things. I have hypocritical taste. I refuse to watch American Idol because it's unintelligent, but I've been addicted to the same daytime soap opera for 15 years. Anyway, here's what I'm refusing to watch right now. Convince me I'm wrong. - Dancing With The Stars. The concept seems so ... dumb. In general, I hate any show that involves fan voting. So I don't watch American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, or any show that requires my participation beyond just sitting there. - Reality shows that do not involve crime or food. I haven't watched the Real World since Las Vegas. Or was it Austin? I forget. I haven't watched the Road Rules since they had that crazy black guy on there...oh wait, that's all of them. I don't watch Big Brother. I reject Project Runway. I no longer watch America's Next Top Model. I want nothing to do with fashion-based reality shows. - The Hills, Laguna Beach, Gossip Girl, Baldwin Hills or any show featuring characters half my age. I refuse to believe any of these shows are better than the ORIGINAL 90210, Party Of Five, and 21 Jumpstreet. Now that's quality. - Network sitcoms not named The Office. That means no How I Met Your Mother, Two And A Half Men, etc. I've basically been down on network sitcoms since NBC's Thursday night lineup included The Cosby Show, Different World, Cheers, Frasier, etc. While we're on the subject, I've never seen a single episode of King of Queens or Everybody Loves Raymond. - CSI. I'm a huge Law and Order fan and CSI just doesn't do it for me. I watch CSI: Miami a little for the comically bad acting. Dude that plays Horatio -- you know, the guy who used to be the man on NYPD Blue -- is horrific. He's perfected the overacting whisper. He says everything with a completely absurd sense of corny finality. Shit like, "you're going straight to hell and I'm driving the bus," or "call me the plumber, because I'm plugging you." Jack Bauer does this too, but his stuff is funny and somewhat believable since he's a borderline sociopath. Favorite Bauer line: "The only reason you're not dead is because I'd have to carry you." - No more medical dramas. God ER is boring. Yes, even with George Clooney and Anthony Edwards, it was boring. I used to be addicted to Grey's Anatomy, but the Queen of Whine (Meredith) just drove me nuts. I bailed on it after two seasons and I'm never coming back. Unless Meredith is killed. Then I'll come back. - True Blood. HBO is so hit or miss with me. Like, I loved Tell Me You Love Me, but couldn't get into that one where Gabriel Byrne is the psychologist. Hated Deadwood and Rome. Anyway, True Blood is about vampires and I haven't given a shit about vampires since I was 11. - 90 percent of the shows on Showtime. I've never seen Weeds, Dexter, or Californication. But I do love the L-Word for some inexplicable reason despite it's predictability (dialogue-hump-dialogue-hump-hump-social issue).

Sep 25th, 2008

261

Matt Millen

If you're a Lions fan, you really shouldn't be comforted by the firing of Matt Millen. You should be terrified. You should be fearful. The last thing you should be is hopeful. Millen's firing means the same brain trust gets another crack at picking a GM and later on down the line, a coach. This is the same outfit that brought the organization Darryl Rogers, Russ Thomas, Bobby Ross, and yes, Matt Millen. This is the same organization who gave the keys to the franchise to Eric Hipple, Andre Ware, Scott Mitchell and Joey Harrington. The best coach in Lions history is Wayne Fontes. What does that tell you? The Lions have been inept for nearly 50 years. They've made one good decision -- drafting Barry Sanders. They've been on a revolving rebuilding plan for five decades. There is nothing to suggest these buffoons can select a competent leader. I mentioned before that we have a few NFL teams vying to go 0-16. Well, the Lions officially became the clubhouse leader. Their season is already over. Coach Rod Marinelli is a lame duck. There is nothing to play for, not even pride. I mean, if they had any pride, they wouldn't have been getting blasted the last few weeks. Sorry Lions fan, the worst is yet to come.

Sep 25th, 2008

260

Week 3 NFL Thoughts: Joey Porter Brings It

EDIT: A little bit of business. RSS feeds for my blog are now available. Look on the right side of the screen for the icon. Are the Cowboys the best team in football? Not in my eyes. I'm not a Cowboys hater, but each time I see the 'Boys play, I'm more convinced than ever that the Giants would punch the Cowboys in the mouth. Has anyone noticed that the Cowboys secondary can't stop ANYBODY? If not for a physical front-seven, the Cowboys would be forced to outscore teams every week. The front-seven feasted on an inexperienced QB and that was the difference in the Green Bay game. And as much as I love Tony Romo's potential, he's falling into the trap of making at least one bonehead play a game. He dropped the snap in the end zone against Philly. This week he threw an interception in the end zone late in the fourth quarter -- the absolute worst place to throw a pick. If T.O. hadn't ran that guy down, it's a touchdown. When a team is 3-0, it's tough to nitpick. But trust me, the 'Boys can be had. Other Week 3 thoughts... Dolphins v. Patriots: If you're a fantasy owner and played Ronnie Brown yesterday, e-mail me privately and give me this week's lottery numbers. In my ESPN league, Brown scored an absurd 42 points. Too bad the guy who owned him didn't play him. Anyway, memo to Bill Belichick: Did you really think that you could go through an entire NFL season throwing screen passes and 7-yard outs to Wes Welker? THROW THE DAMN BALL TO RANDY MOSS! Stretch the defense. Loosen your offense. And how about teaching Matt Cassel not to stare down receivers or make more than two reads? And yes, I'm going to keep bitching on Moss' behalf because I have him on one of my fantasy teams. In two weeks, he's caught five passes. As far as Miami's concerned, the Fins deserve a lot of credit. They've played winning football in two of their first three games. They could easily be 2-1. Chad Pennington and Ricky Williams look completely rejuvenated. Joey Porter got clowned for dissing Matt Cassel, but he backed it up at Foxboro. Rams, Chiefs, and Lions: The argument isn't who's the best team in football, it's who is the worst. Seriously, all three of these teams could go 0-16. USC and Georgia could beat all of them. And what does it say about the Falcons that they aren't even in the worst-team conversation? Jags v. Colts: Of all the teams with losing records, I am least concerned with the Colts. They have played three extremely tough opponents and this was a must-win for the Jags, who couldn't afford to drop to 0-3. As I said in my predictions, the Colts will struggle early, but I see them kicking things into gear and making a strong run toward the playoffs. They won't win their division, but they'll a dangerous wild card. Bengals v. Giants: Giants are the team to beat. I see the wheels coming completely off in Cincy. What the hell has happened to Carson Palmer? Houston v. Tennessee: Hmmm, all of a sudden the Titans wide receivers look productive and skilled. There goes the Vince-Young-doesn't-have-any-talent-around-him argument. Cleveland v. Baltimore: The Ravens are the surprise team of the AFC. The Browns stink. Still, this needs to be said: The Browns would not be better off with Brady Quinn. Final thought: Will this be the year we see a 0-16 team?

Sep 22nd, 2008

259

More On Josh Howard

I've got three important, well-written reads for you on Josh Howard as we continue to move forward with this conversation. First up is my boy, Vince, from SLAM magazine, who hits it out the park with this column. Bonus points to Vince for referencing one of my favorite songs, Mos Def's Mr. Nigga. Second, J.A. Adande adds his measured, but poignant perspective. J.A. writes Josh Howard ain't exactly the right spokesperson to be delivering this message. And finally, Mark Cuban chimes in. I don't know how many of you have been to his blog, but it's among the best out there. I've always liked Cuban. Even though I don't always agree with decisions, he's one of the best owners in professional sports. He's saavy, honest, and best of all, he gets on David Stern's nerves. Cuban gives posts some of the e-mails he's received in response to Howard's comments. They are predictable and sick.

Sep 19th, 2008

258

The Weed Be Letting You Know...

...where evil lurk! If only Josh Howard really were high when he said this. Unfortunately, he was serious. Yes, his comments about hating the national anthem were laced with ignorance. Considering he told Michael Irvin that he and nearly all NBA players smoke weed, most people wondered if his rant came after Howard finished off some bomb 'erb (yeah, I took it old school) Still, I feel compelled to provide a small defense of Josh Howard. I'm not going to go the easy road and say Howard should shut up because he's a millionaire, because even millionaires are allowed opinions. Howard was being a hypocrite -- despite hearing the national anthem every night in the NBA why say something now? -- but he wasn't totally wrong. Fact is, a lot of black people feel extremely conflicted about American symbols of freedom. I know several black people who do not recognize the flag, nor do they stand during the national anthem. Understand we were not recognized as free people when the Declaration of Independence was signed or when Francis Scott Key penned the "Star Spangled Banner." The Fourth of July didn't apply to us. We weren't even recognized as human beings. America was founded on racism and many of our advancements as a nation have come because of racist ideology. As a country, we have improved greatly since the Civil Rights Act was passed 44 years ago. But that can't undo the institutional racism created by 400 years of slavery. Josh Howard may earn several million a year, but as many well-to-do black people have found, money nor fame is protection against racism or discrimination. To a lot of people, he's still just a n---er. You can't escape black skin -- no matter if you're a waiter, a CEO, working the fry machine, or a doctor. It's a frustrating existence. Free, but not free. Given this, black anger toward America should be fairly predictable. It's why Michelle Obama said: "for the first time in my life, I'm proud of my country." It explains why Jeremiah Wright feels America deserves her comeuppance. This, of course, doesn't mean black people don't love America. We have a long history of service to this country. And we've given that service in spite of the rejection we've faced (see: The Tuskegee Airmen) I love my country. I recognize the flag and the anthem because despite America's faults and shortcomings, I've been given access to more opportunity than 90 percent of the folks of color in this world. If anything, Howard should feel proud that he lives in a country that doesn't behead him for speaking against his own nation. But I'm not critical of Howard because of what he said. I'm critical because he chose to stake a stand at a charity flag football event. I don't agree with Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, but I respect him because he refused to stand for the anthem before the eyes of the world. He was suspended, and ultimately it killed his basketball career. But he didn't compromise his beliefs for his lifestyle and there aren't a lot of people courageous enough to do that. And something tells me that when the national anthem is playing this season, Howard won't say a word.

Sep 18th, 2008

257

The R. Kelly Interview

Meant to get to the R Kelly interview yesterday, but I got bogged down with some other stuff. I'm heard it's called "work." Anyway, I watched most of R Kelly's exclusive interview with BET on Tuesday night. Pure comedy. My observations: - At no point in this inteview did the interviewer have control. Entirely too much fawning at the beginning of the interview. Maybe this was his way of setting R up for tougher questions about his child pornography trial. But he must have called R "great" about 2,000 times. We get it. He's kind of a big deal. - R Kelly does not know subject-verb agreement. I realize Chicagoans are undercover Mississippians, but at times, R sounded really CUN-TRY. Like, syrup sandwich cuntry. - What was up with R sporting the 2008 Members Only jacket? Not a good look, R. Actually, now that I think about it, it was more like a cross between a Members Only jacket and a Beat It jacket. - Best exchange: Interviewer: (Slowly) Do you like...teenage girls? R: (Looking confused) When you say teenage, how old are we talking? Interviewer: Uh, girls that are teenagers. R: I have some 19-year-old friends, but I don't like anybody illegal. You know how you can tell someone is lying? When they suddenly forget fairly basic concepts. All of a sudden, R forgot what a teenager was. Kinda like when Sammy Sosa forgot how to speak English. Or Clarence Thomas looking as if he was asked to explain the origins of the pythagorean theorem when he was asked about pubic hair. Or Marion Berry forgetting that he was busted with a ho' and a crack pipe. On videotape. - As I said, I saw most of the interview, but not all. Was R ever asked about his wife and kids? It's possible that R told BET they couldn't ask him about that, but considering R brought up his kids 987 times, it was fair game to ask what he told his children during the trial. Hell, they can get the R Kelly sex DVD on Ebay for $5.99. Though, how does a parent explain they like to piss on preteens? The main thing I wondered after this interview is this: Is R Kelly still relevant? Is he capable of producing good music? Of course. But, in my mind, he's fallen off significantly. "Trapped In The Closet" gave him a major boost, but he's not fiyah in the streets anymore. Ten years ago, artists were lining up to work with him and I'm not convinced he's got that same cache. Am I wrong about that?

Sep 18th, 2008

256

If You Want Mo' Coonery...

You post one ghetto video and then they all start pouring in. A few more for you all to digest.... - The new Obama Hustle. About this video: Detroiters are known for The Hustle, not to be confused with hustling. The Hustle is basically the Electric Slide, but with a little Detroit flavor. We have about 784 versions of The Hustle, and nearly 99.9 percent of them are performed at ghetto-ass weddings and cabarets (parties). What's of interest in this particular video is the fact that not only do you have a group of black folks assembled to name a dance after Obama, but they also seem to have come up with their own Obama line of clothing. What I want to know is, can you buy an Obama Coogi in Detroit? Can I roll to the club and take a picture with the airbrushed Obama, 'Pac and Biggie as the backdrop? - It's the Notorious B.U.M. About this video: As I disclaimer, homelessness and crack addiction aren't funny. But homeless behavior and crackheads can certainly be funny. Especially when they can beat box, remix and rap at the same time. Please watch it until the end. I particularly enjoyed the line about weed and Robitussin. - This cat should be on Broadway. - This ain't 'hood, but it's entertaining. Remember, Jesus has a ray gun. EDIT: I would be remiss if I didn't mention the sources of these video classics. Shout-out to my girl, Sue, for providing all the ghetto entertainment and to my boy, C-Rob, for reminding us of Jesus' ray gun. Hope it doesn't zap me. Or, wait, maybe I do hope that. Anyway, if you want an Obama Kangol, some tangerine Obama gators, or some Obama Air Force ones, I'll be happy to forward Sue's info. No personal checks, please.

Sep 16th, 2008

255

Philly V. Eagles

Best Monday Night game I've seen in awhile. Explosive offenses. Big plays. (Mostly) great quarterback play. Now, the $64,000 question: Who wins the NFC East? I'm still rolling with the Giants, who continue to be underrated and overlooked. Dallas and Philly probably have the two-most explosive offenses in the division, but I like the team with the best defense -- which is the Giants. The disconcerting thing about the MNF game is that neither the Eagles or the Cowboys can get stops in the clutch. The Giants can. The G-Men also have proven to be the most mentally tough team in their division. Winning all those road playoff games last year was huge for their confidence. That team has a quiet sense of confidence. They also inherited a perfect situation for a Super Bowl champion. A lot of people still believe their Super Bowl win was a fluke. Few are picking them to win the division. Because Brett Favre is in New York, the Giants have become almost a secondary story. They have motivation, but no pressure. Brilliant! Besides, I'll take the defense, mental toughness and experience of the Giants over the Cowboys' high expectations, star power and explosiveness any day. McNabb still doesn't have all the pieces. They rely on him too much, even though Westbrook is a nightmare. Philly is a top-flight receiver away from locking up the Super Bowl. Side note: I have hate in my heart for DeSean Jackson. I already was getting my ass kicked in one of my fantasy games, but I had a puncher's chance of pulling it out. I started McNabb and needed him to go off because my opponent had T.O and Barber, and they were absolutely shredding me. Jackson's "backward pass" totally destroyed me. For those who didn't watch, this fool is showboatin' so hard into the end zone he fails to realize that he didn't even cross the goal line with the ball. Somewhere, there's a fantasy owner who needed that TD to win and right now, they are at Wal-Mart buying a shotgun and a crossbow and heading straight to Philadelphia.

Sep 16th, 2008

254

Ideas? Anyone? Anyone?

After reading this, I might start keeping money under the mattress instead of the bank. Instead of all these stories about Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter, Bristol, Bristol's baby daddy, lipstick, pigs, purple diamonds and green horseshoes, how about someone ask our presidential candidates and vice presidential nominees what they plan to do to reshaoe and retool our faltering economy? I don't care about abortion (it's not going anywhere, people). I don't care about whether Palin can see Russia from her porch, whether her momma wears Dickies or Lane Bryant. I don't care about McCain's POW injuries. I care about the economy. I care about the C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) Barack Obama said during his DNC speech he can breakdown how to pay for every single new idea he's pitching. Really? Well, Mr. Obama, I'm not interested in the "new," as much as I'm interested in what you plan to do about the housing crisis, and a 10 trillion deficit. Same for you, Mr. McCain. http://freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080915/BUSINESS07/80915077

Sep 15th, 2008

253

San Diego DID NOT Get Hosed...Week 2 NFL Thoughts

It was a bad call. Referee Ed "Pumps In The Bump" Hochuli blew it. Even Hellen Keller could see that Jay Cutler fumbled. But did that call cost the Chargers game? Absolutely not. Call me a football purist or a hater -- whichever you prefer -- but I just don't believe calls lose games. Players lose games. Coaches lose games. Calls don't lose games. After Hochuli's call, the Chargers had two opportunities to finish Denver off and win the game. They didn't do it. And worse, the same player (Eddie Royal) burned them on the same play for the touchdown and winning 2-point conversion in the final seconds. Gotta give credit where it's due. Mike Shanahan has BALLS for going for the 2-point conversion and victory, instead of settling for a PAT and overtime. I applaud it because it worked, but if it hadn't...best believe I'd be among the many frying his ass today. Shanahan's decision is going to go a long way. This is the type of call that changes a season from a good one, to a special one. If you were a Bronco and hadn't been buying into what was happening there, you are buying in now. Plus, with the way Cutler has been playing, the Broncos are shaping up to be that team nobody is going to want to play in the playoffs. And just to brag a little bit, remember I picked the Broncos to win the wild card. To be honest, now I'm thinking I undersold them. And Charger fan, you're still going to make the playoffs. Just don't be surprised if you sort of back your way in. Moving on to other Week 2 thoughts... Patriots vs. Jets: Tol' ya the Patriots were still a threat to win between 10-12 games. That game shows why Bill Belichick deserves the hype and best coach in the game. He's absolutely not going to put Matt Cassel in a position where he has to win the game on his own. As I said before, the days of the Patriots blowing teams out is over. They're just going to run the ball, milk the clock, use Wes Welker and Kevin Faulk, and not make mistakes. Now, on a completely related, but selfish note: BILL BELICHICK, YOU ARE SINGLE-HANDEDLY DESTROYING MY FANTASY TEAM! I got Randy Moss in the first round and if he gives me anything against the Jets, I'm probably gliding to 2-0 right now in one of my fantasy leagues. But noooooooooooooooo...Moss was thrown to four times, caught three passes and gave me a stinking FOUR POINTS! Dammit, Bill! Thrown Moss the damn ball! (Breathing) Packers vs. Lions: You know, the Brett Favre vs. Aaron Rodgers debate doesn't have to be either or. Rodgers is looking pretty damn good, and Favre is what the Jets need. I still question Rodgers' durability, but it looks like the Pack has found themselves a QB. Is it safe to say Rodgers has officially won over the Green Bay fans? As for the Lions...they are the W.O.E (Worst Organization Ever). What's amazing about the Lions is that there is not "bottom." There isn't a point where fans can say certainty this is as bad as it gets. With the Lions, it can always get worse. As soon as the Lions took a 25-24 lead on Green Bay, I texted a friend of mine who is a dieheard Lions fan, and told him the Lions were just setting him up for a kick to the stomach. But damn, not even I saw Jon Kitna throwing two pick-6's to effectively snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Absolutely priceless. Chiefs v. Raiders: Each week, it's going to be a real debate about who the worst team is in the league. Is it the Chiefs, Raiders, Lions or Rams? I still vote for the Rams, but the Chiefs are making quite a case. There is so much to like about Herm Edwards personally, but he can't coach and the Chiefs management is horrible. That combination means KC is already on the clock for the 2009 draft. Oh, and nice of Larry Johnson to do his annual throw-the-offense-under-the-bus routine. Though, I can't say I blame him because KC is atrocious. On the Raiders side: Is McFadden the next Adrian Peterson? 'Cards vs. Dolphins: This is why I picked the Cards to win the division. As long as Kurt Warner doesn't get hit, he's as good as any QB in the league. Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald are the best wide receiver tandem in the league. Unless Warner suffers a major injury, Leinart isn't getting the starting job. Colts vs. Vikings: The Vikings are going to make me look like a fool because I picked them to go to the Super Bowl. ESPN analyst Cris Carter called the Vikes an underachieving organization on Mike and Mike's radio program this morning. I couldn't agree more. Remember when the Vikings went 15-1 and lost to the Falcons in the NFC Championship? Inexcusable. They were far more talented than Atlanta. What about in the 2000 NFC title game when they got smoked by the Giants, 41-0? This current Vikings team would be lucky to get to that level of fail. They have the most talented defense in the NFL. You could argue they also have the best RB in the NFL, too. So, how come they can't win with a great running back and a great defense? Baltimore did it for years. Final Week 2 Thought: McNabb wins in Dallas and continues his campaign for MVP.

Sep 15th, 2008

252

So Damn Cold In The D

If the Kwame Kilpatrick situation wasn't bad enough, here is further proof of why I can't go back to the D. Who knew you could have braids that matched your outfit? Who knew that despite being tone deaf you still record a track? And while I knew my people in the D were ghetto, I didn't know it was quite like this. Thanks Bo for reminding me.

Sep 13th, 2008

251

The Sarah Palin Interview

I don't consider myself a Republican or Democrat, just someone who evaluates every candidate at face value. I've been willing to give VP nominee Sarah Palin a chance. To some degree, I believe she was piled on. OK, her teenage daughter got pregnant. Newsflash: teenagers have sex. Not exactly dog bites man. But that ABC interview she did with ABC's Charlie Gibson on Thursday was a total disaster. Palin had to know that whenever she gave her first real interview, there were four core topics she'd get grilled on -- foreign policy, experience, abortion and sex education. To her credit, she handled the experience question relatively well. To paraphrase, she said her being a fresh face should be viewed warmly since people are hungering for a government with different ideas and a different approach. OK, I'll buy that. But when it came to foreign policy, she seemed unprepared and lost. I blame both her and her handlers. I would have hoped that the scrutiny on her family would have communicated that this is a whole different ballgame. Realistically, given her limited experience, there was no way she was going to dazzle us with anything she had to say about foreign policy. A lot of politicians don't have a wealth of foreign policy experience. Bill Clinton didn't. But Clinton's gift -- and I see some of this in Barack Obama, too -- was making you believe that he had the ability to lead, even if he wasn't an expert. Obama doesn't know everything either, but he gives you the impression that if faced with a crisis, he's going to be able to handle himself. John McCain does, too. Palin? I'm not so sure. Her job in the ABC interview was to make us believe that when she steps in the room with foreign heads of state, she will represent America well. She had to show that where she lacks experience, she makes up for it with determination, diplomacy and intellect. Instead, she said we should go to war with Russia over Georgia. That one answer torpedoed the entire interview. In general, she just stepped into one booby trap after another on foreign policy. Gibson pressed her for specific answers, and successfully rattled her. Considering we're engaged in an unwinnable war that most Americans strongly disapprove of, what Palin should have done is tell ABC: "Charlie, I'm not going to sit here and talk specifics about imaginary scenarios. When decisions concerning conflict are made, you need credible intel, alternative viewpoints, and the American people behind you. As we've seen with the war in Irag, things can change quickly. I would be doing the American people a disservice if I sat here and played war because I know such decisions aren't made in a vacuum. All the American people need to know is that when that time comes, I will be decisive and consider every American life that is at stake as if it were my own." She let Gibson suck her into the what-if game. She should have realized that if she answered those questions definitively, the headline the next day would be what we're seeing today: Sarah Palin Favors Going To War With Russia. I understand that Palin wanted to appear tough and unwavering. A woman in her position has probably encountered a lot of situations where people haven't taken her seriously. She is eager to show she's not just a cosmetic pick for the ticket. I get that. But Americans are hungering for change. We want someone who can make good decisions and stick with them, but also someone who has an open mind. We also want the reassurance that the next set of leaders won't embroil themselves in conflicts for silly reasons. She needed to play on those sympathies. She didn't. She also completely struck out on the Bush doctrine question. For sure, it was a setup on Gibson's part. And I won't lie, it took me 20 or 30 seconds to know what he was talking about. But women in leadership positions get judged more harshly for not knowing. Especially a woman like her, who is attractive and from a state people aren't that familiar with. She climbed out of it (eventually), but that would have been a less glaring mistake if not for the other mistakes she made in the interview. She did a good job of pointing out that her experience with energy was a good starting point in world politics -- because, honestly, a number of conflicts are energy-related -- but she didn't bring that point home. I hope for her sake that she's a lot better during the debates. But this was her first impression with the American people, and I don't think she left a good one. And I'm neutral. I swear.

Sep 12th, 2008

250

Vince Young And His Momma

Professional athletes can withstand a lot of damage to their reputation, but one thing that's hard to overcome is yo momma coming to your defense. I've longed suspected Vince Young wasn't as mentally tough as people made him out to be, and his mother telling telling the Tennessean that people need to be "prayerful" for her "baby boy," pretty much backs up my initial instincts about VY. Hope Mom's knows that whatever shred of manhood VY had was just mercilessly butchered by her comments. Mom's needs to relax. First, he's not dying. Second, he's not crazy. He's just spoiled. Possibly, soft. For the first time in his football career, he's not unconditionally adored and he's figuring out that success is fleeting in the NFL. A successful rookie year doesn't make a career. I get that no one likes to be criticized, but it's part of the job description. Just ask Eli Manning. Quarterback is the most glamorized position in the NFL. They get the glory and blame, and sometimes it's an uneven quotient. As a QB, VY has regressed the last two seasons. The Titans have been able to win because they've got an excellent defense that is able to compensate for VY's mistakes. Certainly, VY has made plays, but his progress has been painful to watch. You can debate whether he deserved the criticism in the first place, but how he's handled the criticism is not debatable. Clearly, he's immature. It says a lot that coach Jeff Fisher had to convince VY to go back into the game after he was booed, following an interception. It says a lot that VY reportedly said he was ready to retire after his rookie season. VY is behaving like an addict struggling to get his next fix. He's addicted to adulation. Interesting that when VY was asked to respond to Donovan McNabb's comments that it was more difficult for black quarterbacks, VY blew off McNabb's assertions. Wonder if he still feels the same way? Funny how it seems that guys who come out of Texas are unable to handle the mental rigors of the NFL. I don't mean the playbook. But notice how many of the football stars from there are extraordinarily sensitive, fragile, and have a difficult time dealing with criticism. Exhibit A: Ricky Williams, aka Mr. Social Anxiety Disorder. Exhibit B: Cedric Benson, Mr. I'mma Pout 'Cause I Can't Beat Out Thomas Jones For The Starting Job. Exhibit C: Roy Williams, Mr. I Don't Tip Pizza Delivery Guys Nor Do I Go Across The Middle With Confidence. I've been to Austin -- where the University of Texas is -- several times. It's a fantastic place. But it's still a small town and they treat Texas athletes like gods. You could argue this goes on at a lot of places, but it says something that Williams, Benson and other Texas football players almost always return to Austin in the offseason. I'm convinced it's because, no matter where they are in the NFL hierarchy, they can go back there and be worshipped like it was college all over again. That enabling environment can be a toxic combination for an immature mind. Most professional athletes crave adulation. We saw this with Roger Clemens and Brett Favre. Neither is willing to give up the unconditional fan support and the heroic ideal that their names have become. That's why, no matter what evidence surfaces, I doubt Clemens ever admits he took any performance-enhancing drugs. VY has a lot of talent, and still has the potential to be a dynamic QB in the NFL. But, at this point, he's his own worst enemy. Final thought: Damn we all owe the Houston Texans an apology for picking Mario Williams.

Sep 10th, 2008

249

The New 90210...LAME!

I hate to be one of those old people whose always criticizing anything new, anything from my generation that's been redone...but I'm about to be one of those old people. I caught the last half-hour of the new 90210 and I can say without any malice or bias, that it was TERRIBLE. Bad enough they redid the show at all. But they brought back Kelley, added a black character and threw a whole bunch of dreadful music. Though to be fair, I guess that's better than listening to another one of David Silver's horrific concerts. Magic in a bottle only happens once. That Kelly-Dylan-Brenda love triangle? That can't be duplicated. Donna's 30-year virginity? Magnifico. Brandon Walsh's superiority complex? No one can carry that torch. Worse of all is that Tristan Wilds -- who was brilliant as Michael from The Wire -- has to waste his talent on this pointless show. He is playing Dixon, a black kid who gets adopted by a white family in Beverly Hills. A down-and-out black kid who is rescued by white folks? Naw, we never see that in Hollywood. How original. Me and my friends theorize that on mainstream shows there is an unwritten rule that you can only have one black character on a show at a time. Obviously, there have been exceptions, but we just like to play around with this theory because we find it hilarious. On the old 90210, I remember Vivica Fox was a guest star. When they went to college, they had a black chancellor. That's about as close as the old 90210 got to having a black character. So at least the 90210 is representing a multicultural society by finally writing in a permanent black character. I'm sure Michael (Tristan Wilds) will get an NAACP Image award now. Shame he couldn't get one when he was on The Wire.

Sep 9th, 2008

248

Brady Done? And Other Week 1 Thoughts...

Brady done? Brady DONE. Just when you thought there would be no bigger story than Brett Favre playing for the JETS, Tom Brady goes down the first game of the 2008 season. And from all reports, it appears to be a season-ending injury. First question: Does Brett Favre have God's number on speed dial? Depending on how you see things, it's now the Jets division to lose. Anyway, when is the last time we've seen an injury this colossal, this early in the NFL? Who loses the reigning MVP the FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON? Call me a (red) Kool-Aid drinker, but I agree wholeheartedly with my ESPN colleague Michael Smith, who predicted this morning that the Patriots would go 12-4 without Brady. I won't go as far as saying they'll be 12-4, but I do see the Pats winning between 10-12 games. I realize lifelong backup Matt Cassel hasn't started a football game since high school -- and how ridiculous is that? -- but this team has entirely too many weapons for it to just fall apart. The Patriots still have Randy Moss, Wes Welker, a (finally) healthy Laurence Maroney and a capable backup in Sammy Morris. With rookie Jerod Mayo and a re-energized defensive line, all Cassel has to do is not make the killer turnover. The Patriots, who have an incredibly weak schedule, are about to revert to the team they were in 2001. Expect them to be more cautious, play more ball control, rely on their defense, and capitalize on the other team's mistakes. Instead of winning, 45-10, they'll be winning games, 23-20. Psychologically, there is no stronger team in the NFL. Bill Belichick is not about to let this team give up. On the players side, Rodney "Headhunter" Harrison certainly won't have it, either. Realize the media, pundits, etc., are all saying the Patriots are done and this team seems to rally when people are aligned against them. They are already well coached, but they'll also be playing angry. I don't see them making the Super Bowl, but they will make the playoffs. Side note: It would be a mistake for the Pats to bring in Dante Culpepper. I'm still not convinced he can plant and throw with accuracy because of the significant knee injuries he suffered. And considering he and Moss left on bad terms, I'm not certain it's a good idea to reunite them. A better idea would be bringing Culpepper to Tennessee. Other Week 1 thoughts: - It's a toss-up between which was more surprising (other than Brady, of course): Chicago beating Indy at home, or Carolina winning in San Diego? I'm going to go with the Bears, who really impressed me. Matt Forte is a PLAYER. It makes their decision to get rid of Thomas Jones and keep Cedric Benson -- who they eventually released -- seem that much stupider. Forte's emergence proves you can find a good back anywhere. You don't need to reach for one unless he's an Adrian Peterson, or perhaps a Darren McFadden. Chicago's defense was oustanding, creating turnovers and scoring like they did the year they rolled to the Super Bowl. I thought they were all but dead in the NFC North, but they showed me something last night. - Indianapolis definitely is vulnerable this year, which is why I picked the Jaguars to win that division. You can't convince me that Marvin Harrison is the same player he once was. He's still a threat, but he's a step slow. With Dallas Clark and Joseph Addai dinged up, that takes the Colts down another peg. I see them starting slow, but rallying for a playoff berth. - The Panthers are legit. As long as Jake Delhomme stays healthy, this team is going to compete with New Orleans for the division. The bonus that's come out of Steve Smith's suspension is the Panthers are establishing other weapons. Sunday you saw a second-string tight end come out of nowhere and practically win the game. - With Brady's injury, the Charges have no excuse not to win the AFC. - You can say you heard it here first. Told y'all Donovan McNabb is going to be the NFC MVP this year. He looked fantastic yesterday, in Philly's 38-3 win. Even better: I started him in one of my fantasy leagues and he single-handedly led me to victory. - Vince Young going down for a month with a knee injury might be a blessing for the Titans. Yeah, I said it. Something is wrong when you see a quarterback continually regress the way VY has. His rookie season is starting to look like a fluke, and if what Michael Smith said this morning is true, VY's got major maturity issues. Smith said on Mike and Mike's radio program that after VY was booed by the fans following an interception, coach Jeff Fisher had to convince VY to get back on the field because he was straight-up POUTING. And then he gets hurt the first series he returns. I realize VY is young QB with a lot to learn, but you can only blame inexperience for so long. I'll admit his receiving corp doesn't stand out from a talent standpoint, but why is it that whenever Kerry Collins steps into the game, those same supposedly mediocre receivers look productive? When VY went down against the Jags, Collins stepped right in and they marched down the field. Freakish athleticism is a curse and a blessing. VY represents the downside to being a freakishly athletic quarterback. Until the NFL, VY has had a parade of coaches who have conditioned him to use his athleticism to win games instead of his pocket presence and other mental tools. Defensive coordinators adjust much quicker in the NFL and they're not going to let VY use his athletic ability to beat them. He's going to have to be accurate, read through his progressions and make good decisions. The last two years, the Titans have won IN SPITE OF VY, not because of him. I like that VY is a great improviser, but the key to being a success in the NFL is consistency. VY is lucky he's got a top-10 defense behind him, otherwise the Titans would be looking at him like my 49ers are looking at Alex Smith. On the other end, Matt Leinart obviously isn't as athletically gifted as VY, but he's got the same problem. Leinart is used to immense talent compensating for his mistakes and allowing him not to take the game seriously. Leinart was billed as a smart QB, but nothing he's done proves he's able to consistently read NFL defenses. If this were Hangman, I wouldn't call Leinart a BUST, but he'd at least be a BU--. - The Cowboys looked fantastic, but if I'm a Browns fan, I'm already looking to the NFL draft. That may seem like a drastic statement after one game, but this team did not play well the entire preseason and they came out in Week 1 looking totally uninspired and unprepared. Braylon Edwards had four inexcusable drops. I said before it was a huge mistake to give Shaun Rogers, known as a lazy and unmotivated player, that much money. If the fate of your defense relies on him, you'll be sorely disappointed. And the Browns were against the Cowboys. Rogers has immense talent, but he's immature and almost always out of shape. Good luck Cleveland, this is going to be a long season. And speaking of Cleveland...Hey, Cleveland Fan, how long are you going to tolerate LeBron showing up at your sporting events wearing the opposition's gear? I can't believe he actually came to the Dawg Pound with a YANKEES HAT and COWBOYS T-Shirt. You guys should have pelted him with Miller Lite cans and ice cream sandwiches. That is just blatantly disrespectful. - Hey Detroit Lion Fan, tell me you weren't surprised. The Lions getting blown out by a team they should beat...naaaaaah, that never happens!

Sep 8th, 2008

247

Weed And Women

It's obvious Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur aren't the brightest bulbs in the lamp. To be suspended from the NBA's rookie transition program for being caught with weed and women in their hotel rooms ranks right up there with the dumbest thing any athlete has done this year. The only thing worse is if a fool legally changed their name to "Ocho Cinco." But the real issue is not that they chose to do something this colossally stupid. The real issue is this: How is it that two guys who just stepped off a college campus still haven't figured out how to mask smoking weed in a hotel room? I ain't condoning what they've done, but did they not get that lesson on putting the towel under the door, cutting on the shower, or smoking it on the balcony? C'mon man! Not that I know anything about masking weed smells personally, of course. I'm going strictly on what I've "heard." Chalmers and Arthur were caught because the smoke alarm went off. Even a rookie weed smoker knows better than that. Dudes that stay in the Red Roof Inn know how to cover up the weed, so I really expect guys staying at a plush resort to do better. Considering they were brave/idiotic enough to smoke under these circumstances, I've got to assume these two smoked out on a few Kansas road trips. They should be experienced. I tell you, young folks these days just ain't on the ball. As a friend pointed out, maybe they were busted because they're NBA players and they now are smoking the good stuff. They might have elevated to stuff that's the color of the grass at a PGA tour course, and that's harder to mask. Whatever the case, if you are an accomplished weed smoker, you should not be getting caught in hotel rooms or airports. Those are the rules.

Sep 5th, 2008

246

I Forgot...NFL Picks

I was so caught up in fantasy football, the Republican and Democratic conventions that I forgot to give out my useless, but entertaining NFL picks. Here goes: AFC East: Patriots Yep, I know about the curse that's been on the Super Bowl runner-up (see: Seattle, Chicago). But I just can't see a Belichick-coached and Tom Brady-led team falling apart. Unless, of course, this foot injury is serious. AFC North: Steelers They've got a tough schedule, so I don't see them having a great record. Big Ben will take another step, could possibly even challenge for MVP. Love the tandem of Mendenhall and Parker. Biggest question is the offensive line, which didn't do a good job of protecting Roethlisberger last year. AFC South: Jags This is the year Jacksonville unseats the Colts. Manning will likely get off to a slow start. Jeff Saturday's injury is HUGE. I don't believe Marvin Harrison will be an elite receiver and Dwight Freeney's foot problems are disconcerting. The Jags are tough, physical and poised to take that critical leap. AFC West: Chargers It's now or never for them. I know Rivers, Gates and LT are coming off major injuries, but this team has a relatively young defense and the best RB in the game. No excuses. AFC wild cards: Colts, Broncos NFC NFC East: Giants It's been a long time since a defending Super Bowl champ has been this underrated, doubted and overlooked. Brett Favre coming to the Jets was the best thing that could have ever happened to the Giants. Most people still believe what they did last year was a fluke. I don't. NFC North: Vikings Worst division in football. Jon Kitna is the best QB in that division. That says it all. But the Vikes have the best defense in the NFL, and definitely the best D-line. This should make up for having Tavaris Jackson. All he has to do is not turn the ball over. NFC South: Saints When Deuce McCalister is healthy, this is a very formidable team. The addition of Jeremy Shockey will make their offense that much more explosive. Brees is a great decision maker. There are questions about the D, but their O is loaded. NFC West: Cardinals Why do I believe in the Cardinals? I dunno, because they're in the second-shittiest division in football. Arizona brilliantly started Kurt Warner, who threw more TD passes the second half of the season than any other QB. Boldin and Fitzgerald are arguably the best WR combo in the league. NFC wild cards: Philly, Dallas AFC Champion: Patriots NFC Champion: Vikings Super Bowl winner: Patriots NFC MVP: Donovan McNabb AFC MVP: LT

Sep 4th, 2008

245

Daunte Retiring?

Very bizarre news concerning Daunte Culpepper. Apparently, he's retiring? I'm working with a little bit of inside information concerning Culpepper, which allows me to say with authority the moment he decided to represent himself is the moment he completely torpedoed his career. Daunte's biggest enemy is Daunte. Let's start with that career-killing letter he sent to all 32 NFL teams. Culpepper seems to think he's being blackballed because he made the decision to represent himself. The letter was his way of telling his side, but that just shows NFL teams you don't know what you're doing. From what several NFL sources have told me, the reason Culpepper is jobless is because he seems to think he's still Daunte of 2000, when the Vikes went 11-5, advanced to the NFC Championship game and Culpepper was elected to his first Pro Bowl. Or the Daunte that passed for 3,917 yards and 39 touchdowns. Since absolutely shredding his knee, Culpepper hasn't been the same quarterback. Period. He wasn't very good in Miami or Oakland. Of course, he's a still a serviceable QB and could easily earn a roster spot. There is no way, given those factors, he is worth more than the vet minimum. A side note: I've always felt the presence of Randy Moss hindered Culpepper's development at QB. Culpepper is/was immensely talented. But when you have a freak like Moss, you become dependent on Moss' ridiculous athleticism and it would be easy for any QB to shirk learning the nuances it takes to play the position. I thought the same of former Michigan QB Chad Henne, who took a significant step back once Braylon Edwards left. Anyway, Culpepper fired his agent, Mason Ashe, at the worst possible time. He fired him after tearing all three major ligaments in his knee. His play in Miami and Oakland -- and I realize they're two bad teams -- didn't help his case. He was immobile and needed to lose weight. I'm not one of those people who is against players representing themselves. In fact, I'd like to see more of it. But not every player can handle negotiations without getting emotional and the situation can some times turn personal (see: Culpepper's nasty split with Miami). Culpepper's letter to ProFootballTalk.com and the e-mailed retirement letter indicate he couldn't view his skill set or the market objectively. No agent in the world would have let Culpepper send either letter. If he had an agent, I'm sure that person would have convinced Culpepper his best option was to go to Green Bay, one of the teams that expressed interest. Green Bay offered him $1 million, which wasn't bad when you consider what Culpepper did in his last two starting gigs. Had Culpepper gone to Green Bay, he'd be looking at a very workable situation. It's debatable whether Aaron Rodgers will make it through this season without injury. Even if Rodgers does, there's even more debate about whether he's any good. Since the fans weren't real happy with how the Brett Favre situation played out, it's safe to say Rodgers might have been on a short leash. If Culpepper starts at some point in 2008, he inherits a running game, solid defense and offensive line. Pretty good elements for a QB whose mobility was limited by a significant injury. This is a league that has no problem employing serial offender Chris Henry. Leonard Little, who killed someone in a drunk driving accident, is still playing. Somehow, Joey Harrington, a perennial bum, has convinced three or four teams he's worthy of a roster spot. Pacman Jones got a job -- no problem. There are a lot of NFL teams with absolutely dreadful situations (Baltimore), so you can't convince me Culpepper not having an agent was such a big turn-off that a bunch of NFL teams decided it wasn't worth it to employ a healthy player. I certainly realize black quarterbacks have a more difficult time holding down a roster spot if they aren't a major superstar. I was having a casual conversation with a black quarterback, who told me that there aren't a lot of black Todd Collins' (the Redskins No. 2 who has been a backup for the better part of 11 years). But somehow, someway, Culpepper talked his way out of the NFL. Never thought I'd see that happen.

Sep 4th, 2008

244

'Dere Is A God: Kwame Resigns

Hey inmates at Wayne County Jail: If you notice a tall, black gentleman with a zoot suit and a line in his fade circa 1991, that's your FORMER mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick. Kilpatrick pled guilty Thursday morning to two felony counts of , which means Detroit is finally rid of the worst politician in its history. Some people will look at this as a sad day for the city of Detroit. I consider it a rebirth. This is Detroit's opportunity to step into the dawn and make a clean break from the racial divide, dirty politics and low standards that have prevented Detroit from reaching its full potential. As part of the plea arrangement, Kilpatrick will not only resign, spend 120 days in Wayne County jail, and pay the city $1 million in restitution. For me, his sentence doesn't come close to atoning for what this greedy individual has stolen from my city. What he's taken can never be replaced. What he pays back monetarily is likely only a tenth of what he's stolen during his two terms as mayor. This loss of freedom doesn't represent the time he should be serving, considering we still don't know if he was complicit in Tamara Green's murder. He loses his law license, which is probably a good thing since that fool didn't understand that text messages on the city pager is PUBLIC RECORD. Detroit's citizens -- especially its black citizens -- need to understand it is past time to take a stand. Detroit's educational system is in shambles. Crime is absurd. The economy is shot. Detroiters have accepted these sub-human conditions for far too long and making matters worse, citizens have elected officials who have abused their trust, stolen from them and continued to play on the racial wounds that haven't been healed. Kwame isn't the only crook that needs to be run out of town (Can you hear me Detroit school board?!) This is a time to reclaim the city. This is the time to prove (again) that Detroit has resillency, pride and resolve. The city has suffered through and overcome some amazing hurdles during my lifetime. This will be no different. The city of Detroit is used to the nation's doubt and contempt. But by putting Kwame out, I hope this is what finally allows Detroit to turn a historic corner. To borrow a Rick Pitino phrase, Coleman Young ain't coming through that door. Detroiters need to stop blaming the suburbs for everything. Stop electing officials who use the racial divide to cover up their misdeeds. Stop settling for crumbs. And stop being proud of failure. Take the city back from the crooks -- those who have been elected and those walking the streets.

Sep 4th, 2008

243

Fantasy Football Update

As I've told you all before, I'm in two fantasy football leagues this year. I had my first draft two Saturdays ago, and last night, I had my second and final draft. This league, called The Boondocks league, is a little different. It's filled with a bunch of NFL reporters, including ESPN's Michael Smith and my other good buddy, Charles Robinson (C-Rob), who covers the NFL for Yahoo! It's a 20-team league, so you get to a point where the pickins' are slim. Here's who I drafted on Sunday: Quarterbacks: David Garrard, Chad Pennington, Chad Henne. Running backs: Clinton Portis, Willis McGahee, *Rudi Johnson, Mike Hart Wide receivers: Laveranues Coles, Reggie Williams, Ronald Curry, Sidney Rice, Mike Walker. Tight end: Tony Scheffler Defense: Jacksonville Kicker: David Akers I like this team a little bit better than the team I have in my other league, Ben-Com 5, which is a 10-team league. In case you forgot, here's that team: Quarterbacks: Donovan McNabb, Carson Palmer, Matt Schaub. Running backs: Thomas Jones, Maurice Jones-Drew, Michael Turner, Fred Taylor. Wide receivers: Randy Moss, Reggie Williams, Kellen Winslow, Anthony Gonzalez, Reggie Brown, Josh Morgan Defense: Tampa Bay Buccaneeers Kicker: Rob Bironas So, which team do you think is better? * The Rudi Johnson pick was made under duress. I had to make my first three picks via phone because my flight was delayed. I missed making my fourth-round pick by seconds, and the computer automatically selected Johnson. Now, this could work out for me. Johnson may end up with either Houston or Detroit, where he could start.

Sep 1st, 2008

242

Jack-O Is 5-0

Now something to make us all feel old: Michael Jackson is 50 today. I've got to reflect on this because if you grew up when MJ was the man, there was no way you could have predicted that he would one day be one of the five strangest people who inhabited this Earth. Or that he would eventually physically transform into an old white woman. I'm still trying to figure out how he completely changed his grade of hair. As my girl, KLC said: "That ain't nothing but an ultra perm." (By the way, a London paper did a cool thing and gave us some idea of what MJ would look like at 50 if he would have maintained his "Off The Wall" look) Mike always was a little weird, but it was the 80s. Everybody was weird. Rick James had dangling cornrows and astronaut clothes. Prince wore clothes from the 17th century, and one-piece suits with the boots sewn in. Who could have predicted that, later in life, Prince would be the "normal one." Don't get me wrong, Mike showed us plenty of times that he was destined to be "not quite right." I just didn't think there was anything bizarre about MJ walking around the Grammys with Webster on his hip. Some people accesorize with a scarf. Mike needed a midget. I went through a 5-to-7-year period truly believing I was going to marry Michael Jackson. It never once dawned on me that he was either gay or a-sexual. At this point, I'm more likely to believe MJ has mated with an amphibian, than a woman. C'mon, y'all know his "kids" don't look anything like him. Anyway, to pay proper tribute, here are my top-5 favorite MJ songs of all time. And no, Thriller doesn't make my top-5. Most awesome video ever (next to Smooth Criminal, of course), but the song itself was never one of my faves. 5. Can't Help It 4. Smooth Criminal 3. Remember The Time 2. Billie Jean 1. Beat It Happy Birthday MJ!

Aug 29th, 2008

241

Nice Counterpunch, McCain

John McCain made a brilliant move in choosing Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to be his vice presidential running mate. McCain needed to choose someone unconventional. That she's a woman is an unbelievable bonus. McCain's campaign had no buzz. Obama's speech at the Democractic National Convention showed that history will be a significant factor in this presidential election. With a female vice presidential nominee, Mccain can say history will be made either way. We tend to see political campaigns in extremes, but it's really about appealing to the middle. Most women do not classify themselves as feminists. Yes, many women believe in pro choice and equal pay, but that doesn't make you Gloria Steinem. A stunning number of women will identify with Palin because she has appealing, middle political values that will appeal to a cross section. She's a mother and a wife. She has five kids, one of which has down's syndrome. She's a "hockey mom," and a member of the NRA. She runs marathons, and loves to fish and be outdoors. She's a former beauty queen who played high school basketball. She's a member of the Feminists For Life, which supports anti-abortion, but also is a strong advocate for health care and child care for working women. Some already are anticipating the pro life issue will prevent the bitter Hilary supporters from getting behind Palin. I'm not sure about that. McCain's a Republican and was likely going to pick someone who represented a pro choice viewpoint. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I seriously doubt abortions will ever be illegal in this country. We're not going back to the days of back alleys and coat hangers. Conservatives use abortion to manipulate, but they are very aware that the majority of people in this country support legalized abortion. Even in the most conservative pockets of Middle America, they support some form of abortion. Certainly some conservative politicans have done their best to institute stricter rules regarding abortion, but don't be fooled, everything is a hustle. Pro-choice special interest groups have millions at their disposal, and senators, representatives, governors, and other politicos, loved to be wooed by that money -- regardless of how they vote. Case in point: McCain has said he does not support abortion rights, but he would not seek a constitutional amendment to ban abortion. Sounds like McCain's in the middle. And he picked a running mate who can camp out right there with him.

Aug 29th, 2008

240

Obama

I'm watching the speech right now on TiVo and so much stands out. First, let's talk about history. The whole time I watched the speech, I thought about my 78-year-old grandmother. During Obama's speech, the camera panned several older black Americans, who were either crying or extremely emotional. That touched me more than anything Obama said. It doesn't matter who you vote for in November. Providing this moment for so many people who never thought they'd see a black presidential nominee is a victory in itself. I thought at some point I'd see a black presidential nominee. Folks like grandmother never-ever thought they would. Folks that lived through the times when there were separate water fountains, lunch counters, and other basic services, for blacks and whites. My grandmother saw MLK, Malcolm, and both Kennedys assassinated. This is indeed historic. I'm a little cynical, so I consider the debates the real fourth quarter for politicians. Eight years later, I'm still befuddled that people didn't know George Bush was a complete moron after watching the debates against Al Gore. But I digress. Obama's speech was incredibly impressive...and presidential. He did give McCain a two-piece with a biscuit. That line about McCain not even being willing to follow Osama to the cave was brilliant. Also, very nice job of Obama to reference the 45th anniversary of MLK's "I Have A Dream" speech. Anyway, what'd you think of speech? Presidential or the typical rally-centric, convention rhetoric? Inspiring or a political b.s.?

Aug 29th, 2008

239

Um, What The Hell Is Wrong With Shawne Merriman?

Disturbing news out of San Diego regarding Shawne Merriman. Merriman, whose knee was shredded by two major tears, has decided to put off season-ending knee surgery and play. Several doctors already have told Merriman that if he plays this season, he is risking a career-ending injury. I respect the ballsy-ness of this decision and am impressed by Merriman's desire to help his team BUT I'm absolutely dumbfounded why jeopardizing his career. Maybe Merriman feels he's damned if he does have the surgery, and damned if he doesn't. If he does have the surgery, there's a strong possibility he may never be the same player again. Even though Merriman is just in his mid-20s, reconstructive knee surgery likely will limit the explosiveness that made him a spectacular defensive threat. If I'm not mistaken, Dante Culpepper had the same knee tears a few years ago and now he can't do anything outside the pocket. Maybe Merriman is playing because he sees it as going out on his terms. As a NFL fan, the last thing I want to see is this kid being carted off the field, never to return. I know it's Merriman's decision, but the Chargers should refuse to clear him to play. The players union and Merriman's agent also should step in. Besides, how Merriman possibly be effective playing with such significant knee damage? If you're an opposing offensive coordinator, you're going to run or throw at Merriman every play and make him prove himself. What will Merriman do when offensive linemen go for his knees? I only hope Merriman isn't thinking that when his contract is up in 2009 the Chargers will reward him for playing hurt. In fact, they'll do the opposite. They'll cut him because he'll be an ineffective lineman with bad knees. In professional sports, there is no such thing as paying someone for services rendered. You get paid based on what you can do today and what you might do tomorrow. That's it. Merriman should shut himself down the rest of the season. If it takes him two years to comeback from this injury, so be it. An injury like this is going to effect his bottom line whether he plays or not. But at least if he doesn't play, he can sell the idea of a full recovery. If he plays, I guarantee he won't last the season.

Aug 27th, 2008

238

Hate Strong, Appropriate?

Pardon this somewhat, overly-emotional, likely non-sensical post, but is there anybody you hate? We're taught that hate is reserved for the most evil, vile and black-hearted individuals. Before 2008, I can't say there was anyone I truly hated. There are people I couldn't stand. There are people I didn't like. There are people I've wanted to fight. But hated? Well, not until now. I think I've found someone I hated, but I'm not sure what to do about it. Part of the reason I'm hating is because the whole hater scenario is turning me into a hater. I'm not a hater. Never have been. I mean, I was hating on this person so much today I had to pop in Jay Z's "Some people hating...," just to calm my damn nerves. Probably should have been popped in some Cube, since he eloquently stated in War & Peace, "these haters trying to blow me up." True, true. But I realized: I'm turning into the hater I hate. Can't go out like that, particularly after adopting my no-hate rule in 2005. I've generally had a no-hate mantra, but it didn't crystallize until I faced my own avalanche of hate in '05. Then I came to fully understand the unproductiveness of hatin'. You can't really appreciate hate until you've been hated on one really good time. Hatin' is just so fucking stupid (pardon my language) and senseless. Anyway, I was told by someone much wiser than me that the best way to stop hatin' on the hate-e is to be extraordinarily nice to that supreme hater. That kill 'em with kindness bit, I guess. I dig it. But how can you do that when all you secretly want to do is execute a flying elbow off the top rope on your hater? I suppose I can adopt the Katt Williams philosophy, which is: If you got 16 haters, you need to figure out how to get 17. Haters are basically worthless, but they will get you paid if you manipulate them right. Me, I don't have the energy for that. Well, not the manipulating part. I definitely have the energy to get paid. So how can I lose the hate and cope with my hater(s)? If someone is hatin' on you extra strongly, where do you find the resolve not to just whup their simple ass? How do you keep yourself from being seduced into hater-like ways and a hater-like way of life? Suggestions more than welcome.

Aug 27th, 2008

237

Redeem vs. Dream

Now that the Redeem Team has secured gold, it wouldn't be right unless we began a debate about whether the Redeem Team could beat the Dream Team. Before we begin, a couple things to keep in mind: - Competition. The international competition is significantly better today than it was in 1992. Players like Pau Gasol, Manu Ginobli, and Dirk Nowitzki didn't exist. So, to me, that nullifies those people who like to use margin of victory as an indicator of which team would win. The Redeem Team teams with four or five NBA players on the roster. The Dream Team's toughest competition was Croatia, who finished with the silver and had NBA'ers Drazen Petrovic and Toni Kukoc on their team. - Age. The 1992 team had five players 30 and over (Bird, Ewing, Drexler, Magic, and Stockton). The Redeem team only has two guys that are 30-plus (Kobe and Jason Kidd) - Credentials. Only two players on the 1992 roster were not named to the NBA's 50 Greatest players list. That group also had 11 NBA titles. The 2008 team had four NBA titles. Now, let's look at matchups (though keep in mind that the 1992 team had a number of different starting lineups. Jordan was the only player who started all eight Olympic contests.) POINT GUARD Jason Kidd started all eight games, but as we all saw, Chris Paul and Deron Williams finished off most of the games. In 1992, Magic started five of the six games he played and John Stockton only played in four games, starting none. So I suppose the question is, would you rather have the trio of Kidd, Paul and Williams or Stockton and Magic. Tough call, but I go with Magic and Stockton. Kidd is basically a non-factor at this point in his career. Can't shoot and can't run as well as he used to. Paul and Williams are the future of the NBA at point guard, but Stockton was in his prime and a pick-n-roll tactician. And Magic, at 6-9, was still a nightmare with absurd court vision. Advantage: DREAM TEAM SHOOTING GUARD The Dream Team had Jordan, who was 29 in 1992 and still had four NBA titles to go. He is the best closer in league history. Kobe is as close as it comes and his matchup against Jordan would have been worth the pay-per-view alone. It would have been a fierce battle, but you ultimately have to give this to Jordan. Although, I will say this: Kobe and Jordan's Olympic statistics look IDENTICAL. Jordan shot 45 percent. Kobe: 46 percent. Jordan actually stunk from the 3-point line, shooting 21 percent (4-of-19). Kobe shot 32 percent from three. Kobe and Jordan both averaged 15. The big difference is that Jordan had 38 assists in Olympic play and Kobe had just 17. The problem for the Redeem Team is that after Kobe, there is a significant drop off at shooting guard compared to the Dream Team. Dwyane Wade was arguably the best player on the team, but the Dream Team had Larry Bird and Chris Mullin. The Redeem Team had Michael Redd, who couldn't even get on the floor. Mullin was ridiculous during the Olympics, shooting 61 percent from the field, and 53 percent from three. Mullin started two games and Redd barely averaged nine minutes a game. ADVANTAGE: DREAM TEAM FORWARDS This is where things get interesting. LeBron is a significant mismatch for the Dream Team. LeBron can guard four positions and absolutely no one on the Dream Team could stop this kid from going to the hole -- not Pippen, Drexler, Jordan, or even Barkley. Carmelo Anthony vs. Pippen also would be an intriguing matchup. Pippen, at this point in his career, was one of the best perimter defenders in the NBA. Anthony is probably one of three or four most dangerous offensive players in the league. Who wins? As for Drexler, I've long thought he was one of the most overrated players in NBA history. He couldn't go left and to be honest, I think LeBron would absolutely abuse him. Even if you put Tayshaun Prince on Drexler, Prince's wing span would give The Glide a lot of trouble. All that being said, Barkley and Karl Malone would have their way with the Redeem Team. Barkley was at the height of his career. He was arguably the best player on the Dream Team, leading them in scoring and field-goal percentage. He even made seven of eight from three, which put him at an absurd 87 percent clip. We all know what Malone could do in the low block, and his 14-footer was money at this point in his career. Sorry, Carlos Boozer, you would get worked. ADVANTAGE: DREAM TEAM CENTER Bosh and Howard vs. Ewing and Robinson. Bosh and Howard would have speed and youth on their side, but Robinson was one of the most athletically-gifted big men in NBA history. Ewing was a monster in the paint, and let's not forget about his unstoppable, 15-foot rainbow. Dwight Howard is a physical marvel, but he has zero post moves and really can only score on dunks and put-backs. Bosh is a finesse player, who is entirely too skinny to deal with either Ewing or D-Rob. This is young boys vs. grown-ass men, and you know who always wins those battles. ADVANTAGE: DREAM TEAM FINAL VERDICT: I'm sure you can see from the breakdown who I believe would win, but it wouldn't be a blowout for the Dream Team. The Redeem Team's most significant weapon would be speed. An open floor game would help them stick close. But this is ultimately a matchup of developed, mature players against young guys still coming into their own. The Dream Team knew how to win. The Redeem Team is still learning how. In a seven-game series, the Dream Team would win 4-2. In a one-gamer, Dream Team and Redeem Team fight for three quarters, and then the Dream Team goes to work on the young boys in the fourth and leaves no doubt.

Aug 25th, 2008

236

Race And The Olympics

The commenters on ESPN.com have been killing me for this column I wrote on how the Redeem Team's accomplishments in Beijing mean something special to the black community. People accuse me of bringing up race unnecessarily, but to me, it has a prominent role in sports society. The column wasn't at all intended to suggest that white folks aren't rooting for Team USA. It's just that black people have the same sense of pride in the Redeem Team that Latinos and Hispanics do in their baseball players. I covered the World Baseball Classic, and Dominicans and Venezuelans viewed that life and death. They've taken the same ownership of baseball that we have of basketball. In both the Latino/Hispanic and African-American communities, baseball and basketball are presented as viable/preferred career options, so maybe that's also why the achievements mean so much. The commenters have their own opinion, but 80 percent of the people that have e-mailed me -- most of them African American -- have told me my viewpoint was dead on. Racial pride should not be interpreted as a put-down to other races. If Germans got a boost or inspiration from seeing Dirk Nowitzki win the MVP, I'm cool with that. So why is it that whenever black people express a particular amount of pride in black achievement, we're racists? A few black political reporters have admitted that Barack Obama's presidential candidacy is historic, and they've been called Obama cheerleaders. I just don't get it. My thoughts on the Redeem Team got me to thinking about how race is such an undercurrent at the Olympics. Here's a big example: Most black people I know consider Usain Bolt's achievements superior to Michael Phelps'. Now, I know a few white folks that feel that way, too. But among black people, it's not even a debate. Usain all the way. As I said in a previous post about Bolt v. Phelps, this is not an argument about who is a better athlete. It's about who had the greater achievement. You know who I think wins that argument. Hint: It's not Bolt. Anyway, people should be more honest with themselves about the role race plays in sports viewing. On the surface, most of us accept everything at face value. But I think you'll find in minority communities, there is a certain sense of pride that's different when it comes to athletics. Maybe it's because when we do see a minority athlete attain a level of fame and wealth, we immediately connect to our own struggle to succeed. We know what we go through on a daily basis, so we can only imagine what someone else of even larger means must go through to get to where they are. Maybe it's because we feel the only way to gain mainstream acceptance is through sports (or entertainment). So when a minority from a mainsteam sport fails or succeeds, we take it personally. We realize a lot of people judge our race through sports and entertainment figures. When Michael Vick fails, it's not just him failing, but all of us. It's not true, but that's the feeling. With so many young, black men in prison, to see another one with that much talent and resources wind up there...it was very disappointing to a lot of black people. Before he went to prison, the quickest way to start an argument with black people was to say Michael Vick sucked. It's getting that way with Vince Young, too. Growing up, black people were taught to support successful black people no matter what. I remember my grandmother and father saying things like, "not many of us make it, so you have to stand behing the ones that do."

Aug 23rd, 2008

235

My 2008 Fantasy Team, Part I

Just finished the first of two fantasy drafts I have this year. My opinion of my team: Eh. Did OK in some areas, not so good in others. I took some huge gambles at quarterback, and I'm not totally in love with my wide receivers. I'm probably a little too wide receiver-quarterback heavy. I've got one, possibly two fantasy studs. Anyway, here's my team, The Terrorist Fist Jabs: QBs Carson Palmer Donovan McNabb Matt Schaub Troy Smith RBs Thomas Jones Maurice Jones-Drew Michael Turner Fred Taylor Anthony Aldridge WRs Randy Moss Kellen Winslow Reggie Williams Anthony Gonzalez Kevin Curtis Kicker Rob Bironas Defense/special teams Tampa Bay Buccaneers I'm not in love with this team. But I'm stockpiled enough at certain positions that I'm hoping to pull off a mid-season trade. Last year was my first year playing fantasy and I made the playoffs (lost by .02 in the first round -- no bullshit). I'm hoping to go deeper in the playoffs this year, but can't see that happening unless a few guys in here have some outrageous seasons or again, I make a trade. In hindsight, I made a huge mistake drafting Palmer. His receivers are fantastic, but from a production standpoint, he didn't do much the last half of the season. There was just too much pressure on the offense because the defense couldn't do squat. The two picks I love are McNabb, Schaub and Thomas Jones. If McNabb stays healthy, he will have a dynamite season. Given his recent history, I know that's a big 'if.' But I'd like to think that Westbrook will be force-fed the ball more to ensure McNabb's health late in the season. That's why Westbrook deserved to be a top-3 pick in most fantasy leagues. With Andre Johnson healthy and the Texans rapidly improving, there is no way Schaub doesn't have a ridiculous season. The only thing that can derail him is health. But I think he's easily going to throw between 25-30 touchdowns. Once the Jets locked up Favre, Thomas Jones' value skyrocketed. He rushed for 1,100 yards last year and while he only had one touchdown, so much of his game is going to open up because of Favre. Teams aren't going to be able to load up in the box because Favre can throw down field. With a legit passing game, Jones is going to blow up. Oh, and I know what you're thinking: Why did I take Troy Smith? I think he's going to win the starting job and with him being a dual run-pass threat, that amounts to some great goal-line possibilities -- even with McGahee. Bootlegs all day baby! I'm killing myself right now because instead of taking Palmer in the fourth round, I should have taken another running back, or gotten another top-notch wide reciever (although most of the top-10 had been taken). You know how you get that feeling a particular pick is going to kill you? I just have a feeling that by Week 3, I'm going to be wishing Carson Palmer lots of bodily harm.

Aug 23rd, 2008

234

Week 2 and Week 3 Of Hard Knocks

Not to worry, I didn't forget about blogging about Week 2 and Week 3 of HBO's Hard Knocks, featuring the Dallas Cowboys. It's just that I got busy. Yeah, that's it. Worthy notes from Week 2, which featured the really annoying fan with the loud, shrill voice: - How many celebrity jockriders can the Cowboys have? Answer: A freakin' lot. Jamie Foxx, Dennis Miller, Rob Lowe, and a few other celebs attended Cowboys practice. To be perfectly honest, I've seen hundreds of football practices at the high school, college and pro level. THERE IS NOTHING MORE BORING AND POINTLESS THAN WATCHING FOOTBALL PRACTICE. End of rant. - Ms. Price is the annoying Cowboy fans I was referring to. Her voice makes you want to stick a steak knife in your eyeball. - There are a lot of guys who have a great sense of humor on the Cowboys, but Roy Williams is in the elite group. Sure, dude is a complete wreck in pass coverage, but his impression of T.O running on the beach was hysterical. Overall, Week 2 was a kind of a dud. But Week 3? Just as good or better than that initial week. Highlights: - Martellus Bennett, the Cowboys second-round draft pick, is what normal society might call a "douche." One of the Garretts politely asks him to tuck in his practice gear because a defender might use that to gain an advantage. And for 45 seconds or more, Bennett is being an ass and explaining how he can't play with his shirt tucked in. WAAAAH! As it is, Bennett has made about three plays this whole camp and he's bitching about a shirt? - Once again, I ask what America wants to know: Where is Jessica Simpson?!Yeah, we get it, Tony Romo is Mr. Aw Shucks. He's cool. He's not full of himself. I actually met him at the Miami Super Bowl a couple years ago and was impressed because he showed up at the Playboy party in a Wal-Mart shirt. It was endearing. But if they don't give us at least one Jessica-related storyline, I'm going to be very disappointed. - I already found T.O sort of amusing, but this show further convinces me that he deserves his own reality show. I pray to God that when his football career is over he runs straight to television. He's funny, charismatic, and I absolutely love those t-shirts. Of all the players on the team, Hard Knocks has helped T.O's image the most. - Pacman. Where to begin. He also needs his own reality show. Real talk: Y'all know he didn't personally write that reinstatement letter to Roger Goodell. - Got to root for the broke Wes Welker. I don't know his name, but that little rookie is impressive. Oh, and I know it's sort-of scripted reality television, but I'm really seeing Felix Jones as a sleeper fantasy pick. - Favorite player: Jason Whitten. Favorite coach: Brian Stewart. Stewart and maybe Jason Garrett are the only two coaches that command a certain amount of respect. I'm wondering if the Hard Knocks producers were "instructed" -- read: Jerry Jones got in that ass -- to make Wade Phillips look more authoratative. They went through this completely scripted bit of trying to show Phillips was "tough." Whatever. Well-paid babysitter. This Hard Knocks series is easily the most entertaining since the Ravens. But you see why the Cowboys haven't won a playoff game in 12 years. Too much Hollywood, not enough grime. I just can't see Bill Belichick or Tony Dungy, or really any of the elite teams in the NFL running a camp this loose.

Aug 22nd, 2008

233

Bolt V. Phelps

We may as well follow the rest of America and debate whether track sensation Usain Bolt's gold medals in the 100 and 200 meters were more impressive than Michael Phelps' eight golds. Both made history in ways many thought wasn't possible. Bolt, who officially has the coolest name ever of a sprinter, was the first man since Carl Lewis to win gold in the 100 and 200-meter events. He also broke Michael Johnson's 200-meter world record, which Johnson earned 12 years ago. Had Bolt not slowed up in the 100, Bolt may have run that distance in 9.5 seconds, which is assinine. Phelps shattered Mark Spitz's 36-year-old record for most golds at a single Olympics. Phelps set seven world records. If you include preliminary heats, Phelps raced 17 times in eight days. For me, this is easy. What Phelps achieved is far superior to Bolt. I'm not trying to denigrate what Bolt did, but he had zero pressure entering these Olympics. Most people had no idea who he was until he blistered the 100. No individual athlete at the Games had more expectations and pressure than Phelps. Had Phelps not earned eight golds, it would have been considered a "disappointing" Olympics for him. Had Bolt lost it would have been no big deal. To me, the test of greatness isn't what's achieved, but rather, what's endured. Physically, I believe Phelps was pushed more than Bolt. My friend Eric Adelson of ESPN the Magazine wrote a superb piece prior to the Olympics describing the physical and mental obstacles Phelps would have to overcome to break Spitz's record. According to Adelson, Phelps ran the equivalent of 11 miles on those days where he had to swim in prelims and finals. My colleague Skip Bayless killed Phelps because he didn't race the 100 fly event, the swimmer's version of the 100-yard dash. But it's far more impressive that Phelps is the world-record holder in the 400 individual medley, which Adelson notes is the "swimmer's decathalon." Phelps has to have mastery of four different swimming strokes. The media pressure Phelps contended with is such a huge factor why he deserves so much credit for his success. Phelps' delivery under such strain is why I believe he should be put in the same company as Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. These are athletes expected to win every time out, and the fact that they meet and exceed absurd expectations on a regular basis makes them a special breed of athlete. Let's also not forget that Phelps has been an elite swimmer the last seven or eight years. Bolt, no offense, has been an elite runner for all of five minutes (I'm being sarcastic, but hopefully you get what I mean). Phelps is a pure prodigy. He earned his first world record at 15 and since then, he's amassed 30 of them. At the 2012 Olympics in London, Phelps will have the opportunity to put several Olympic marks completely out of reach. Do you think Bolt will still be the best sprinter four years from now? His world records will probably still stand, but I doubt it. My money says Phelps will easily be the best swimmer in the world four years from now. After all, he's just 22! This is not an argument about who is a better athlete. Even I realize the absurdity of a man being 6-foot-5 and able to run 100 meters in nine and half seconds. This is an argument about whose achievements mean more when put in complete perspective. Phelps has had a career. Bolt, for now, is just a flash.

Aug 21st, 2008

232

Ain't Nothing But Jesus

Something absolutely insane happened. I still can't believe it. I want to start at the end of the story, which thankfully didn't end with me losing my job or worse, going to jail. Let me begin at the beginning. I was desperately searching for a laptop bag on Sunday. I didn't need to buy one because I've got a ridiculous number of bags stored in the closet of my home office. One thing to know about sports reporters is that we a ridiculous number of bags. At all the big sporting events, they give the media complimentary gifts. Usually, it's a laptop bag. So in my closet, I've got bags from the Little League World Series, NBA Finals, the Olympics, BCS games, etc. I don't use most of these bags because it's just too many. In fact, I'd estimate I have at least 20 laptop bags. Anyway, I needed a new bag because the laptop bag I got from this year's NBA Finals had a hole in it. I was a little miffed at that because the Finals bag was pretty sweet. I thought it'd hold up longer. I wanted something light, and toward the back of my closet I spotted a nice leather bag I'd gotten from the Big Ten tournament. This is where I need to introduce a couple key facts before progressing with this story: - I have no idea what year I received this bag, but I last covered the Big Ten tournament in 2004. - I don't know if I've ever even used this bag. I don't remember using it, but anything is possible. I do know I've been living in Florida for three years, and I haven't used this bag once. - I've also never loaned this bag to a soul. - And finally, I don't smoke weed. Tried to once or twice in college, but the smoke was disgusting and I just never got why people did it. Now back to the story... When I start using a new bag, I don't usually look through it. I'm not real detail-oriented that way. I just throw my crap in a bag and keep it moving. On this particular day, I looked through the bag more precisely because I wanted to be sure all my stuff could fit in it. But as I'm going through this bag, in one of the inside pockets, I make an interesting, mysterious discovery. A bag of weed. It's a small bag. Being that I don't have much experience with weed, or any illegal substances, I'm not sure how to quantify its size. Was it a dime or a nickel? I dunno. I have no clue where this weed came from. Maybe the weed fairy left it there. If I did know where it came from, trust me, I wouldn't be blogging about it. As I said, I haven't loaned this bag to anyone. To my knowledge, no one I know has snuck any weed into my house. And even if they did, I'd like to think they'd be good enough to at least tell me they stashed some weed at my house. It's what friends do. Scooby Doo had the Mystery Van, and I've got Mystery Weed. The only working theory I could come up with is a Ganja Queen scenario. I don't know if you've seen the HBO documentary on this, but an Australian woman faced a death sentence because the authorities in Bali confiscated 10 pounds of weed from her boogie board. The woman, Schapelle Corby, claimed the weed wasn't hers. She's been in prison in Bali since 2004, which is much better than the alternative -- being executed by firing squad. Corby says it was planted, but her family has a history of selling weed. It's been a real compelling controversy in Bali. Someone had to plant this weed in my bag. But who? Why? When? Did the bag come weed installed? The only people who possessed this bag were the people at the Big Ten, me, and the movers who moved me from Michigan and the ones who moved me across town in Florida. That's why this is officially in the Ain't-Nothing-But-Jesus file. You sometimes can't explain how you get into something, or in my case, how you get out of it. I can only imagine what might have happened had I walked through airport security with that bag. Absolutely no one would have believed it wasn't mine, or that I had no idea where it came from. Because, if I'm being honest, if someone tells me the story I just told you, I'd look at them like they were crazy. Oh, and I'll answer the obvious question you're probably wondering as you read this. Yes, I destroyed the weed. And by destroyed, I don't mean smoked.

Aug 18th, 2008

231

Detroit: The City Of Fail

If you thought The Wire embellished the problems of the inner city, then all you have to do look at the city of Detroit to see the issues in the inner city are probably worse than imagined. It's painful and heartbreaking for me to see mayor Kwame Kilpatrick single-handedly destroy Detroit, a city that has suffered from urban blight for four decades. Every time I think things can't get any worse , I read stories like this. The mayor already is on a tether, he may be complicit in a murder, the mayor's father is being investigated by the FBI for receiveing kickbacks. In response, various city officials decided to throw the mayor birthday luncheon? The mayor's affair cost the city $9 million. The schools are hundreds of millions in debt. He has cut the city payroll, closed police and fire precints -- in a city whose murder rate could rival a war in a third-world country. But a bunch of you got together and decided, ah, what the hell, let's the give the mayor an ice cream cake and a Red Lobster gift certificate? This is the same mayor who ran up more than $200K on the city credit, which included buying the bar out in D.C. and taking one of his tricks to the Carribean. The same mayor who bought his wife a brand-new red Navigator, also on the city. Yet, with a straight face, police appointees handed him cash gifts at his luncheon, which was held at one of the more she-she places in Detroit. The stupidity is just simply mind-boggling. I wish I could say KK released some kind of mind control drug on the citizens and officials in Detroit, because that would at least explain the continual blind support for the worst politician in Michigan history. Clearly the people who continue to support the mayor privately and publicly haven't thought at all about the city iself. It was refreshing that the Michigan Chronicle, one of the oldest black newspapers in the country, published a strong editorial urging the mayor to resign. It was an unprecedented move, and I hope it finally communicates to Detroiters that this isn't about race. It's about improving a city with so much potential, but so few people willing to fight for its survival. Sadly, the unacceptable living conditions in Detroit make it easy for a jackass like KK to maintain power even under these circumstances. This is a city where less than 30 percent of students graduate from high school and more than half of its citizens are illiterate. Economically, Detroit also is the poorest major-metropolitan city in the nation. With such rampant lack of education and poverty, it is no surprise that Detroit citizens are easily duped and manipulated. They are hard up for a savior because, frankly, what else do they have to believe in? Unfortunately, they don't realize their blind support is coming at heavy price -- their self respect. Detroiters, don't let KK do this to our city. The city has its problems, but they can be solved without him. This isn't about white people and has nothing to do with the other side of 8 mile. This is about you, the people, standing up, creating a boundary and letting people know what you won't stand for. He's played you, used long-standing racial wounds to manipulate your emotions and keep you from concentrating on the real issues. He's failed you as a mayor because he's untrustworthy, and the quality of life for most Detroiters has decreased significantly. Demand better.

Aug 17th, 2008

230

The Sad Story Of Michael Vick

After reading this, I really feel sorry for Michael Vick. I know some of you never will. And by no means am I saying Vick does not deserve to be in prison. He has lost his freedom, but he's also seemingly lost his entire fortune. I had one primary thought after reading ESPN.com legal analyst Lester Munson's breakdown of why Vick is broke. In all seriousness... Can Michael Vick read? The series of misteps, miscalculations and nearly unbelievable mistakes, make you wonder how on Earth Vick stayed eligible in college. Although, intellect certainly is unrelated to whether someone attends a university, it's hard not to come to the conclusion that Vick had to have some "help" when he was at Virigina Tech. There is a level of ignorance and lack of education with Vick that makes his demise extremely sad. Predictable, but sad. I've known plenty of street guys in my life, but they were all saavy. They may not have been Rhodes scholars, but they understood how to make money and who to trust. Vick had a child-like trust in people. According to Munson, Vick was duped by a swindler who claimed to be a regional director for a national organization with powerful ties in Washington. It turns out this guy had no such job and everything on his resume was a lie. Who give someone power over their finances without checking to see if they're resume is even legitimate? Vick also was bilked by his business manager, who stole an estimated $1 million from him while she was supposedly organizing his financial affairs. I suppose Vick trusted this person because she came on the recommendation of a Falcons teammate. Still, Vick never did a background check on the business manager, and it turns out she was banned from trading on Wall Street because she swindled an elderly couple out of more than $100K. This reminds me of a story I heard about Vick pre-dog fighting. A dear friend of mine met Vick in Miami during the time he was accused of trying to sneak marijuana through airport security in a secret compartment in his water bottle. My friend who hung out with Vick is extremely smart, having studied abroad and gotten a degree in the States. As cliche as it sounds, she didn't know who he was at first. She had only been in America for a couple years, and didn't watch sports. When she met Vick, she texted me to ask who he was because everyone kept coming up to him asking for his autograph. Anyway, she was stunned because he struggled to hold a basic conversation. She wasn't expecting him to discuss OPEC or the euro's influence on the American dollar. But, according to her, he held a conversation that was more fitting for a 16-year-old, not a grown man. She also was struck when she saw him sign his name. She said he used three or fingers to hold the pen, which is how I signed stuff when I was in kindergarten. And, kid you not, she went to a pet store with Vick and his buddies because he wanted to purchase an eagle. He wanted a bird that he could perch on his shoulder. Uh, ok... My friend wound up ditching Vick and hanging out with one of his friends. She's not a gold-digger, but if he wasn't the highest-paid QB in the NFL at the time, she probably wouldn't have hung out with him for even those few hours. Anyway, once Vick serves his sentence, he deserves the right to put his life in order. But reading Munson's article shows that may not be possible. Vick lost his freedom, finances, reputation, friends, and likely some family. I get that we look at animals like children -- entities that can not defend or speak for themselves. But every day I see people who commit heinous, unbelievably cruel acts against people and they don't lose a tenth of what Michael Vick did. Leonard Little, the defensive end for the Rams, was drunk and killed a woman. He served just 90 days in jail, got four years of probabtion and did 1,000 hours of community service. He's living the high life, having signed a $20 million contract two years ago. The New York Times did a story last year about how 40 percent of murders go unsolved. I don't know about you, but I feel much safer knowing a notorious dog fighter like Vick is off the streets.

Aug 16th, 2008

229

Back In The Day, Cont'd: Parenting

Poster Matthew Fudge brought up how much parenting has changed from Back In The Day, and I think that deserves it's own blog. As Bernie Mac said in Kings of Comedy, we got some punk-ass parents today. Too many parents today want to be their kid's friend. My momma used to tell me all the time that she didn't give a good (got) damn if I liked her or not. "I'm not one of your little friends," she'd say. You could argue that, in some cases, parents were unreasonable. For example, I caught about 10 ass whuppings for losing my barrettes. But my mother always made me go outside and play. How was I supposed to keep up with my barrettes when she told me to go outside and play all the time? I can't do BOTH. But no matter what we say now, it did teach us boundaries. Anyway, some things you couldn't get away with if you had parents that didn't play: - Don't ever leave the light on in a room that you weren't in. You think people bitch about gas prices now. The one thing you did not want to hear your folks bitch about is light, heat and air conditioning. Don't even think about cracking the door a sliver if the heat or air were on. Yo momma wouldn't care if a fire started. Let you have a window open when the heat or air were on, and she acted like you were a terrorist. - Can't slam the screen door. Actually, I can't speak for the white folks, but black parents had some issues with doors. Not only could you not slam the screen door, but you couldn't close any door too loudly. When I was a teenager, I got the bright idea to close my door for privacy. My mother kicked the door in like she was a fed and told me when I could pay my own bills, then I could have some privacy. Until then, I betta NOT close any of her doors. Honestly, I think the only time I could close the door was if I were peeing, or sleeping. - Couldn't stay on the phone too long. Remember how your parents would just make you get off the phone because they felt like you had been on it too long? It would be one thing if they made you get off the phone because they had to make a call. No, they just made you get off because you were "running up the phone bill," even though you weren't calling long distance. Speaking of which, calling long distance was damn near punishable by death in my household. These kids with these cellphones, IMs, free long distance, they don't know how good they have it. - And while we're on the subject of the phone...I couldn't have boy phone calls until I was 15. And when a few of them did start calling my house, my mother treated them like political refugees. Thank God for three way. I would just have my girl call the young man, and then she'd call my house asking for me so my mother wouldn't know a boy was on the phone. But, of course, Jason Bourne (my momma) got smart. She wouldn't hang up the phone all the way, and as soon as she heard a guy's voice, she would embarrass the shit out of me by making me get off the phone. - As soon as grown folks gathered where you were, you had to leave the room. You didn't try to join the conversation. You didn't sit there and listen. When they came in, you went out. And the most cardinal of sins: YOU NEVER CORRECTED ANYBODY WHO WAS GROWN. I don't care if they said the sky was magenta. Correcting someone grown was considered "showing out in front of company." And that was worth at least two or three ass whuppings. - Your friends could not come inside your house for ANY REASON, if your parents weren't home. Actually, lemme back up. If your parents weren't home, you couldn't even leave the house. Remember how you would cheat and just stay on the porch and talk to your friends? You half-expected that if you took one step off that porch, yo momma would come out of nowhere and elbow yo little ass off the top rope. But if you were fortunate enough to be able to play outside when your parents were gone, you damn sure couldn't have anyone in the house. I bet half of my friends have serious bladder problems because, if my momma wasn't home, you couldn't use my bathroom. And even if she was home, you had to ask her permission before you let anybody in the house. Best believe if she didn't think the house was clean enough, they just weren't getting in. My house was like the Pentagon. Didn't nobody see the inside of it. - Remember how much trouble you had to go through to either spend the night at someone's house or have them spend the night at yours? My mother would have 689 questions about the family before letting any of my friends stay over. My mother had to meet the parents and talk to them. She had to go over there and make sure it was a clean house, because if it wasn't, you weren't going anywhere. Or, she might just say, "hell naw," because such-and-such "wasn't going to come over and eat up all of our food." - When it came to school, what's the one thing you didn't want your mother to do? Come up to the school and beat yo ass in front of your teacher and classmates. Every year, before school began, my mother would give me that same warning. I remember when I was in high school, I acted a fool in Spanish class. The teacher called home, and my mother told me she was coming to school the next day. I was in school ready to cry. Man, I was nervous like I had committed murder. Every time the door opened, I thought I would faint. Thank God she never showed up. Something else came up and she forgot about it. - You couldn't waste a drop of food. I'm convinced one reason hypertension, high blood pressure and other things run rampant in the black community is because many of us were overfed as kids. We already ate unhealthy food, but the portion sizes were completely absurd. But if your parents put it on your plate, you had to eat it. Not only that, you were not allowed to say you didn't like something. I couldn't stand brussel sprouts and wasn't that big of fan of meatloaf, but if momma bought it, you had to eat it. Oh, and you know the other common food rule: You couldn't drink anything with your dinner because your parents didn't want you to fill up on liquids. Anyway, those were the days. Sure, you could argue I was treated like a prisoner. And while I did receive my share of unfair ass whuppings, it made me the person I am today.

Aug 13th, 2008

228

Back In The Day

Sometime last week I was chatting with friends and the conversation turned to back in the day -- as in, some of the trends/fads we participated in during the 80s and 90s. It's not pretty when you think about it. Some trends/fads I participated in: - Had a jheri curl. Don't bother trying to find the pictures. Not even Jack Bauer could dig them up. The one hairstyle I wanted, but couldn't get was the asymetrical. For those who don't know what that is, watch Salt N' Pepa's video, "Tramp." It's Salt's 'do. - Loved the stonewash. Had stonewashed Used jeans, Levi's, etc. Speaking of Levi's...remember when colored Levi's were huge? In the 80s, the standard outfit in my 'hood was red Levi's and a red addidas t-shirt. Or, yellow. In the 90s, it was all about Guess and Girbaud's. E'eery body and their momma had a pair of Guess overalls, too. - Also had a Starter jacket. One year, it seemed like a kid was getting jacked for his Starter jacket. I had a Michigan and an Oakland Raiders one. And remember how Raiders stuff was the junk? Thank you NWA. - Shoes I owned: Lottos (remember the interchangeable patch), Ballys, Fila's, casual British Knight's, Top Ten's, K-Swiss and of course...shell-toed adidas. Know what we used to say adidas stood for? All Day (long) I Dream About Sex. I know, corny. By the way, I just ordered some Top Ten's off the adidas web site two days ago. Keepin' it real, son! - Three biggest video game systems of my youth: Atari (boop....boop)...Commodore 64...Sega Genesis...Nintendo. Old-school Nintendo. None of this Game Cube shit. Today's video games are advanced enough to power solar systems. Remember when the games were simple and required you only knowing one button? I don't care if Bill Belichick designs Madden, no Madden game will ever trump Tecmo Bowl. Bo Jackson is the sickest, most ridiculous athlete in the history of video games. He could not be stopped. He could not be contained. Damn I miss the days when football games came with three or four plays. I feel like I need to be an offensive coordinator to play Madden or college football. - As much as we loved video games, you never picked the video game over being outside. Outside was where it was at. Best games of my youth: Freeze tag, football and Hide N Go Get It. Aight, let me explain that last one, because it's called different things in different 'hoods. And not every hood played it. Boys and girls were split into teams. It was basically a peverted game of hide n' go seek. Girls hid and the boys had to find us. If a boy found you, um, he got to "hump" on you for five seconds. Have I ever been caught? Yup. And if that guy was ever able to have kids, I'd be stunned. But it's funny how we thought that game was so "nasty." Check out these kids' MySpace pages and they're talking about doing freaky shit I didn't even know existed when I was growing up. - Yo remember before iPods, and CDs, how you had to tape shit off the radio? And remember how it would piss you off because the deejay would jump in the last 40 seconds of the song and just ruin it? Man, it took me about four years to get a somewhat uninterrupted version of "Moments In Love." Y'all don't know about that. - Remember passing notes in class? Yeah, I got a few of those, if you like me check yes or no notes. But notes was our version of texting. I remember me and my best friend would pass each other a note in homeroom. Then, we'd respond by third hour. We'd hook up another one before school let out. And we wouldn't be talkin' 'bout shit. Just gossiping. Who liked who. Who we wanted to "go with." Who we couldn't stand. - And remember those all-night, pointless-ass phone conversations? Remember three-way'in? Remember how you'd run the three-way pimp game? You'd call up a guy your girl liked and you'd ask him on the phone if he liked your girl. Meanwhile, your girl would be on three way trying to be real quiet and still? And if that guy didn't like your girl, that was another 12 hours on the phone, diagnosing the problem. I remember my mother used to think my generation was so screwed up. But I look at these kids now with their iPod'in, Facebook'in, downloading, You Tube'in, reality TV show watching', soft-asses and realize they don't know what fun is. Yeah, an old head would say that. Don't get me wrong. We wanted desperately to act grown, but we also held onto our innocence. Kids today don't know what innocence is.

Aug 12th, 2008

227

Olympic Thoughts

Had you asked me a week ago my thoughts on the Olympics, I likely would have said the only sport I cared about was men's and women's basketball, and swimming. Now, I've got full-blown Olympic fever. I covered the 2004 Olympics in Greece, as well as the Winter Games in Italy in 2006. For reporters, the games are like a 16-week NFL season. It's test your fortitude, creativity, physical ability and, yes, your liver. You don't sleep. You work 14-to-16-hour days -- sometimes, more than that. You cover sports you don't have a clue about (in '04, it was handball and '06, it was curling, snowboarding, and slalom). You build a camraderie with reporters from around the world. You eat things you never have (in '04 it was BBQ octopus). And, of course, you drink some interesting things. In '04, I'd never had ouzo, which is the Greek tequilla. If gas somehow became obsolete, we could use ouzo as a fuel source. Ouzo tastes like licorice-flavored moonshine. Not that I've had moonshine, but I just imagine ouzo is a fairly close representative. In Turin in '06, I had my first experience with lemoncello. It's alcoholic Lemonheads. I imagine I'm stating the obvious here, but the cheapest wine in Italy -- stuff I imagine the Italians look at like we'd view MD 20/20 -- is better than some of the most expensive stuff I've had in America. Anyway, if you're not covering the games, here's the best part about watching them: Picking out the sports you feel you could have been good at. I'm positive I would have made a helluva team handball player. I played shortstop in high school and can hold my own on the basketball court. Handball is all about being able to throw on the run and passing -- things I excel at. And just when you think they're traveling, you realize there's no such thing in handball. It's also pretty physical. I watched the Germans just destroy Korea, mostly because they were just tougher. Wonder if I start playing handball somewhere? Other sports I'd be good at: Air rifle and volleyball. Go ahead, make a Detroit joke. Anyway, the sport I would absolutely suck at is water polo. I can swim, but water polo requires a level of strength and coordination that I've never been familiar with. I've heard it's one of the most physically taxing sports in the world. Anybody who has ever done water exercises can attest to how much resistance the water provides. So I can't imagine going full speed in water, and relying mostly on your upper body. Absurd. Other sports I'd suck at: Anything that requires running and jumping. Wasn't blessed with a great vertical and I hate running. Basketball is different because that's sporadic running. Running just to run...screw that.

Aug 11th, 2008

226

R.I.P, Bernie Mac

Like a lot of people, I was saddened by the death of comedian Bernie Mac, who died of pneumonia at age 50. This, of course, calls for a Bernie Mac Top-5. 5. Second appearance on Def Comedy jam. 4. And, of course, who can forget his first time on Def Comedy jam, where he proclaimed: "I ain't scared of you mutha....!" 3. Bernie breaking down the many uses of "mutha...." 2. "You nasty sommomabitch!" 1. Milk N' Coooooookies. EDIT: Not included, but one of my faves was Mac's routine about how black folks come to work and tell you "what the fu*k we AIN'T gon' do." "I'm tired...My son got shot...I'm sick of this shit!"

Aug 9th, 2008

225

Most Ghetto Thing I've Seen In Awhile

Guilty pleasure admission: I'm a closet fan of Keyshia Cole's reality show on BET, which is funny, sad, trifling, and ghetto. Half the episodes I had tears of laughter streaming down my face. The other half, I just wanted to put Keyshia, her momma, Frankie, and sister, Neffie, in a prayer circle. For real, watching them makes you wanna run to altar call (those Baptists out there know what I'm talking about). Anyway, for those not familiar with Keyshia, she's a rising R & B star and she was recently reunited with Frankie, a (allegedly) reformed crackhead. I say "allegedly" because Frankie kinda still acts like she may be hitting the pipe. In fact, the series began with Keyshia finding Frankie in prison. Frankie has had an untold number of kids because when she was hitting the pipe at will, she was, shall we say, engaging in a lot of free lovin'. Anyway, this video is a glimpse of Frankie and Neffie uncut. As you watch the video -- which seriously should be in contention for one of the most ghetto things you've ever seen -- keep in mind that Frankie is somebody's MOMMA. Oh, and so is Neffie. I just want someone to lay hands on Keyshia.

Aug 8th, 2008

224

Don't Drop The Soap, Mr. Mayor

So, Kwame Kilpatrick... In jail. Who ever heard of a sitting mayor spending the night in jail? Seriously, how utterly ridiculous and embarrassing is that? This statemenet is not hyperbole: Kwame Kilpatrick is the most obnoxious, crooked politician of my lifetime. I wasn't alive for Nixon. And while it's pretty much a dead heat between Kilpatrick and Daddy and son Bush as WPE (Worst Politician Ever), Kilpatrick's arrogance, and raw hood-ish-ness give him a special distinction. When Hollywood decides to make a movie out of this fool, they really won't have to embellish much because he's done some things that just defy logic. Even Marion Berry is like, damn, man, fall back! Not a shock that the whole reason KK is in this mess is because he abused his authority. He's facing, like, 245 charges stemming from the text message scandal. All the judge asked was that KK alert the court when he must go out of town, which is something that all those facing criminal charges must do. Did KK do that? Hell naw. The judge was eating his Frosted Flakes and found out in the newspaper that KK was in Canada. If it were a first offense, KK may have been able to slide. But KK was warned previously about disobeying the court order concerning his movements, and well, now that fool is going to have to wear a jumpsuit, get three hots and a cot like everybody else. Now, if you're up in jail and you see the mayor fall through, how do you even react to that? Say I'm up in jail on marijuana possession and here comes the mayor of Detroit in lockdown. Do I punch him in the face and make him my bitch? Do I volunteer to make him a shiv? Do I trade him four cigarettes and some Ramen noodles to be let out of some oustanding parking tickets? Oh, the possibilities.

Aug 7th, 2008

223

Breaking Down Hard Knocks

The latest installment of Hard Knocks premiered last night on HBO. This time, featuring the Dallas Cowboys. I give the first episode an...eh. Mediocre, but entertaining. Not surprisingly, my two favorites are Terrell Owens and Pacman Jones. A distant third is Tony Romo. In fact, I think HBO should scrap the idea of showing anyone else but Pac and T.O., who are comedy gold. Some memorable moments: - The best part of the show was the trash talking between Pacman and T.O. That friendly rivalry is going to make both players better. These two are just physical freaks. They showed clips of T.O. running on the beach, and his body is just sick. Not a drop of fat anywhere. And Pac looks pretty good for a guy who hasn't played in a year. He did this one parlor tricks where he caught six punts. Patrick Crayton equaled the feat, but it was still good television. The two funniest moments may have been when Pac threw a bucket of water on a rookie and when he told T.O., "you crazy, man." If Pac calls you crazy, then you might want to seek some professional help. - I thought the Romo stuff was pretty staged. HBO starts the show a day before training camp begins, and we're supposed to believe that Romo spent most of his off-season teaching football to high schoolers in his Wisconsin hometown and hanging out with his parents. Whatever. As if no one watching the show has seen the pictures of him and Jessica Simpson getting loose all summer. Maybe Romo told them to leave the Jessica stuff alone, but dude, the entire world knows you're dating her. You mean to tell me that during the first 10 days of training camp, you're not going to talk to her ONCE? I call bullshit. Way to be fake, HBO and Romo. For this to have any hope of eclipsing the Ravens Hard Knocks series, we need a whole lot more Jessica. - I like Tank Johnson. He's got an infectious personality. When the rookies had to sing for the vets, he was the main guy egging things on. In general, the Cowboys seem to have a lot of team chemistry. It feels like they generally like each other. - I could listen to Jerry Jones all day. He just sounds important. Everything he says makes sense, even though he looks like something you just thawed out from the freezer. By the way, can they make Wade Phillips look like he's a little bit busy? I'm convinced that while Jason Garrett and Jerry Jones are running the team, Wade's playing Tetris. - Apparently, Ray Lewis' little brother is playing on the Cowboys. And from what I can see, he's definitely not his big bro. I loved it when Ray told little bro, "stay in your Bible." Nice touch, Ray-Ray. - Please Lord, let Jason Witten be available for me in my fantasy draft.

Aug 7th, 2008

222

When You're A Jet...

Brett Favre's a Jet. This is not going to end well. Putting the guy who put the 'W' in whine in New York is going to be a disaster. Favre is used to having the media in his back pocket, but I'm doubting that happens there. Can you imagine the headlines? The Page 6 possibilities? "Hilary Duff Seen Giving Favre Lap Dance At Scores." Or, "Favre Seen Sneaking Out Of Mariah Carey's Penthouse." That's what I love about NY. Newcomer celebrities finding freakish pairings with other celebs. In Green Bay, I'm sure Favre could pimp-smack a schoolteacher, and no one would write about it. Or, it would just quietly go away. Doesn't work that way in the NYC. Besides, what NY club is going to let Favre in with Wranglers? (And by the way, Chad Pennington, you just got the gas face!) But let's look at what the Jets have with Favre. They've got Thomas Jones and Leon Washington at RB. Very solid. Lavernus Coles and Jericho Cotchery on the outside. Workable. But not a lot of depth at WR, overall. Chris Baker at tight end. Not bad. His old receiving corp of Donald Driver and Greg Jennings were better. He also had a better defense in Green Bay, but the most important factor of them all is this: HE IS NO LONGER IN THE JV NFC NORTH. The Jets have New England at home in Week 2, and you know Bill Belichick would rather eat a boiled dining room table than lose to Eric Mangini. Plus, New England is just better and I see them having their way with Favre reverting him back into that 2-or-3-pick-guy we used to love. Then, the Jets are at San Diego (loss), at an improved Buffalo team in week nine (loss), at Tennessee (loss) at New England in Week 11 (loss), and they've got about three or four other toss-up games (at Seattle, home against Denver, and St. Louis) Practically every team now on Favre's schedule is better than any of the teams that were in his division last year. That's a significant upgrade in competition in conjunction with now having a downgrade in team talent. Favre was the best quarterback in the NFC North and now he's a distant second in the AFC East. Overall, he's not even a top-5 guy in the entire conference. I'm taking Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Ben Roethlisberger, Carson Palmer and David Garrard before Favre. I'll call it now: Brett Favre will not make the playoffs this year. I think he'll have a decent season, but the elevation of competition in his conference and division will be too much to overcome. Buffalo and New England are better than the Jets. They'll make a run at a playoff spot, but the AFC is just too deep.

Aug 7th, 2008

221

Hey Airlines: Go To Hell...

...but wait until I've de-planed, of course. I've just heard two things about airlines that only further convince that they're all run by Satan. One, is that JetBlue is now charging $7 for a blanket and pillow. Coming soon: Airlines to begin charging customers 32 cents a minute to breathe and $2 per toilet visit. And then, today I read this. Delta will begin offering wireless service on domestic flights. My mother was right. She's contended for a long time that airlines were lying when they told us we couldn't use cellphones or access the Internet on the plane because it supposedly disrupted the communication system. Her theory was the only reason they weren't allowing us to use certain devices is because they haven't figured out a way to charge us for it. If we use our cellphones on the plane, that money goes to our carriers, not the airlines. They hate that. Looks like she was right! This wireless business, which will make my life a little more convenient, proves they were lying all along. We should have known that crap about interrupting the plane's communication system was completely untrue. You mean to tell me planes that cost millions of dollars can be derailed because someone didn't shut off their iPod? I haven't turned off my iPod at takeoff or landing in a couple years now and I've never crashed. I'm a rebel like that. As revenge on these greedy-ass airlines, I say we ignore the flight attendants when they make the annoucement about electronic devices. Bring aboard your CB radios and contact Travis in Waco. Go ahead and text when you're on the plane. Screw 'em.

Aug 6th, 2008

220

Brett Favre Is Chuck Norris

Some of you may not be aware of this, but Chuck Norris has become something of a cult phenom. Norris has been elevated to indestructible status and so to entertain themselves, people come up with these wildly outrageous things he can do with his barehands. For ex: A couple friends of mine will go back and forth trading Norris barbs (i.e., If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you) It's really stupid, but there's something so hilarious about it. As this neverending Brett Favre story has gone on, it made me wonder: Is Brett Favre the new Chuck Norris? I say YES. Don't believe me? Go hereand insert Brett Favre's name where you see Chuck Norris'. I started doing it on First Take on Monday and Tuesday, and it amused me greatly. In fact, we should get a list going here of Brett Favre jokes. I'll start with a few I've heard about Chuck Norris, but I'll just insert Favre's name. Of course, Chuck Norris is going to kick all of our asses when he finds out. But hey, until Favre is traded or gives us the breakdown of the genetic code, we've got to pass the time with something. - Brett Favre does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Brett Favre goes killing. - Brett Favre sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Brett Favre and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday. - If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Brett Favre. Your turn...

Aug 6th, 2008

219

Things I'm Wondering

Lots of randomness going on today. Bear with me. - On Family Guy, do the adults not understand Stewie? Is it just the dog, Brian, who does? This has been bothering me for quite some time. - Kathy Griffin...why do I like her, but can't stand Sara Silverman? - Better movie: Ironman or Dark Knight? - More annoying commercial: E-surance or Geico? - Can someone explain why Morgan Freeman was driving a 1997 Nissan Maxima? - If it's true that Bernie Mac is gravely ill and Morgan Freeman, greatest narrator ever, was seriously hurt...who will be the next black superstar to be in trouble? According to everyone's grandmother, celebrities die in threes. Should Denzel Washington watch his back? - Who the hell is watching House of Payne? I don't know ANYONE who watches it, yet it's always on. House of Payne continues. The Wire, cancelled. Life. - My new show: Burn Notice. Very easy to watch. Solid lead character. Digestible storylines. What's not to like? - Better fighter: Steve Smith, Chris Childs or Jackie Christie? - Don't know if you watched First Take today, but we pretty much decided Brett Favre could cure cancer, raise someone for the dead and be the starting pitcher for the Yankees. - Dead or alive: Jack Palance? No cheating. By the way, best game ever to play after 1 or 20 cocktails.

Aug 4th, 2008

218

Ron Artest: When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

I'm not sure if I'll have the opportunity to write a column on Ron Artest's recent idiotic comments, so I'll go ahead and let 'er rip here. The controversy began because Yao Ming expressed some slight reservations about his Artest, his new teammate, who was traded to Houston for two loaves of bread and a can of Chunky's soup. Arest took Ming's reservations somewhat personally. From Artest: "This is Tracy (McGrady) and Yao's team, you know. I'm not going to take it personal. I understand what Yao said, but I'm still ghetto. That's not going to change. I'm never going to change my culture. Yao has played with a lot of black players, but I don't think he's ever played with a black player that really represents his culture as much as I represent my culture. Once Yao Ming gets to know me, he'll understand what I'm about. But really, he doesn't have to talk to me, because to me, I'm going (to Houston)." This is a great move for both Artest and Houston. I would have loved to see Artest in Los Angeles, because that's a team that truly needed his toughness. But Houston, one of the tougher defensive teams, will equally benefit from the edge Artest brings to the table. That being said, Artest's comments were foolish. Thank you, Ron-Ron, for equating black culture with ghetto -- as if we already don't have enough problems separating from that particular stereotype. When Artest jumped into the stands at the Palace and went Kimbo Slice on some fans, that didn't have shit to do with "culture." It had everything to do with the fact that he's perennial problem child. Artest has been busted for domestic violence, starving his dogs, and was involved in the worst brawl in NBA history. To him, is that what being black is about? If that's Artest's idea of "representing," he can keep that shit. The shame of it is, his mindset is unfortunately one that is adopted by too many black men. All? No. But enough so that it's a problem. Since movies and music do such a good job of telling young, black men they need to keep it 'hood, we don't an influential black athlete telling them to do the same. What's laughable is that Artest hasn't been "ghetto" in a long damn time. This is a guy whose made about $30 million over the course of his NBA career. He is offered the best of everything and while he may still keep connected to his roots, his lifestyle is hardly "ghetto." What, is he still keeping the oven door open for heat? Is he still keeping bacon grease on the stove? Does he have plastic on the furniture at his mansion? Doubt it. It amazes me when ballplayers bang the "keep it real" drum because most of them are so far removed from their former financial struggles and lifestyles. They fly private plans, get $150 or more per diem from their NBA teams (which is what some people make in a day), suck up Cristal like it's Dasani, stay in five-star hotels, employ maids, and have boys that do everything from bag their weed to organize their groupies in alphabetical order (sarcasm people, don't get uptight). You can't "keep it real" with a nanny, dawg.

Jul 31st, 2008

217

Family

I got an interesting text from my little brother. It read: "Don't give out what u can't receive back in return. U reak wat u soe." Naw, he can't spell -- and that's at the heart of our conflicts. The reason my little brother can't spell is because he's 20 years old, does not have a high school diploma (dropped out at 15), and doesn't have a job. Or, a driver's license. He's also on probation for a marijuana-related offense. And...drum roll please...he wants to be a rapper. Ay-yi-yi. My little brother is basically Riley Freeman from Boondocks. Only he's not eight years old. He sent me that text, hiting me up for some money -- and I refused. He's allegedly performing in a show this weekend and said he needed some money to buy things for the show. Not my responsibility as far as I'm concerned. I came from a tough love household, where you had to help yourself before anyone can help you. I've reiterated this to my brother countless times. We both have the same father, but not the same mother, and so our philosophies often collide. We grew up differently, but the same. We both came from poverty. We both had drug-addicted parents. We were both put in a sink or swim environment. Particularly after watching CNN's Black In America, I find myself wondering, why didn't he get it? I understand that the psychological damage done to black males is far different than what black women experience. And I see that damage playing out in him in a myriad of ways. My little brother thinks the world owes him. He's full of excuses and rationalizations. And that gets really difficult to deal with. He doesn't understand that I'll help him as much as I can, but it's conditional help. I need him to be more self-sufficient before I invest anything in to him. Am I being too tough? Am I wrong? He and I had it out a few weeks ago because he asked me for money to pay his probation officer. Keep in mind, he's been on probation a little over a year and when you're on probation, you have to pay the state restitution. I told him I wasn't doing it because I don't co-sign stupidity. He has known he must pay these fines since he was put on probation. He had a job for a couple months, but then didn't get another. Again, not my fault. It's just difficult to balance between being sensitive, being loving, being tough and being understanding. Like I said, I'm all to aware of the pitfalls that are unique to black men. I don't want to be another voice telling him what he's not doing. But I can't ignore how I overcame my own struggle, either. I grew up on food stamps. I grew up with a drug-addicted mother. I still made it out. I've been working since I was 14 years old. My brother claims he couldn't get to school because "nobody would take him," or he uses some other silly-ass excuse. Well, that's hard for me to accept because I got myself to school on my own since the eighth grade. Anyway, I just needed to vent. My message to him isn't getting through and I'm tired of feeling like the bad guy. He called me arrogant. Can you believe that shit? I tell you, if we were out in the streets, it would be about something.

Jul 31st, 2008

216

Get The F On Money?

OK, explain this to me like I'm a 2 year old...the Packers are willing to pay Brett Favre $20 million to stay home?...and the Red Sox are willing to cash out Manny Ramirez because they're sick of him? Maybe I just live by a different creed, but I can't get with the idea of paying someone to stay away or paying someone off just because they're getting on my nerves. I know Favre's a pill, but the Packers and Ted Thompson have exposed themselves as a dumb organization. You can't "own" someone's retirement. I know it's tough for them to swallow that Favre is temporarily bigger than the organization. I know that they hate that he can still play at 180. And I know they really want to see what Aaron Rodgers has. But here's the one fact they simply can't escape: Favre gives them the best chance to win right now. It doesn't change the fact he's a diva, whiny, spoiled and self-absorbed. But there are two truths to be learned from the Ramirez and Favre situations: 1. When an organization is sick of you, they're sick of you. (See: McNair, Steve) No. 2. If you have talent, you always have leverage. Oh, well, I guess there is a No. 3: Clearly a lot of organizations out here are more than willing to put spite ahead of winning.

Jul 31st, 2008

215

The N-Word Might Be Immortal

One of the things that came up during my blogging siesta was The View's Elizabeth Hasselbeck's meltdown over the n-word. I'm not a big fan of The View, but some important dialogue took place during this n-word discussion, which was in response to Jesse Jackson using the word 'nigga' (sorry, it's only so many times I can type 'n-word') in an off-camera discussion of Barack Obama. Hasselbeck and Whoopi Goldberg had a very honest exchange, which I thought accurately represented the frustrations of both whites and blacks when it comes to the n-word. Let's be supremely honest here: There isn't a black person in this country who is shocked that Jesse Jackson still uses the word, nigga. Most black people either use the word themselves, or are surrounded by black people who do. I grew up in a household where nigga was used frequently. In fact, my colleague, LZ Granderson, wrote a fantastic piece some time ago about how he was going to stop using the n-word. Nigga means something entirely different to my generation than it did to my grandmother's. My grandmother was called a nigger (notice how I changed the spelling of the word) by whites. I've never heard my grandmother say, nigga or nigger. But my younger uncles and cousins, they definitely say it. Since people in my age group didn't grow up with the same kind of overt racism as my grandmother's generation, we are less impacted by the word and more tolerant of casual usage. For generations, black people have operated with certain codes when it comes to the n-word. We can use it. White people can't. But with nigga becoming a fabric in pop culture, that code isn't as sturdy as it used to be. High school kids -- black, white, Asian, whatever -- use nigga frequently among each other because they hear it songs, see it in movies, etc. The double standard, though, is still fairly obvious, but what I wondered is ... are we comfortable with this double standard? Should one even exist? Truthfully, I've always been conflicted about where black people should stand when it comes to nigga. Fact is, all sorts of language double standards exist in our society. A high percentage of women call their other women friends, bitches, or whores. If a man tried that, he would get slapped. But you don't hear men saying, well, I heard your girl call you a bitch, so why can't I call you a bitch? If we're fairly comfortable with that double standard, then why the wrangling over who has the copyright on nigga? Why does the nigga double-standard cause such a stir? I hesitate to call for an abolishment of the word nigga because I've seen it used quite cleverly. Ever heard the lyrics of Mos Def's track, "Mr. Nigga?": Now, who is cat riding out on the town State trooper want to stop in his ride, pat him down Mr Nigga, Nigga Nigga He got the speakers in the trunk With the bass on pump(?) Now, who is the cat with the hundred dollar bill They gotta send it to the back to make sure the shit is real Mr Nigga, Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga It's a politically brilliant song that explains no matter who you are, what you have, if you're black, you can be treated like a nigger at any moment. If you've ever watched "The Boondocks," you know they use nigga frequently, but I've got no problems with the way they do it or the points they try to make with it. But there's the other side, too: If black people are obviously so comfortable with using nigga, how can we possibly expect white people to take us seriously when we raise a furor over someone like Michael Richards? Is it simply a matter of context? And who are we to say how context is applied and when? When people argue, why do black people get to use nigga, but not whites, is the end goal of the argument to have a society where everyone can use it without facing any consequences? If that's the case, if you're non-black and you knew using nigga would be no big deal, would you make it a regular part of your language? For example, I have several Mexican friends and I've heard them call each other slurs and make jokes about Mexican stereotypes. I might laugh at some of the things they say, but I would never feel comfortable making those jokes personally. And I wouldn't champion for the right to call them things that they've been able to accept by finding the humor in them. Don't mistake this as a campaign for use of the n-word, or a justification. I'm just trying to understand the complexity of the issue. If you're in that group where it's not considered acceptable for you to use the word, do you use the hypocrisy argument because you want to be able to use the word freely? Or do you just want a society where no one is punished for the word? Do you even care if black people use the word among each other? And, black folks, when we use the word, do we even care about the double message we're sending to non-blacks? A white athlete quoted in LZ's column admits it makes him uncomfortable to hear his black teammates calling each other nigga. I understand him completely. But from what I've seen, the hypocrisy arguments aren't rooted in anything but anger. Anger over who gets to use what and when. Anger over copyright. Fighting over words is the American way.

Jul 30th, 2008

214

I'm Back

Two trillion apologies for not having provided you with fresh blogs. But in between returning from the UNITY conference, dealing with some family drama, and working on a column, I just haven't had as much time to blog. But I'm back! Where should I start? With Brett Favre? A quick word on the Hall of Fame crybaby: Favre's a total diva. He's at least 50 percent responsible for what's happened. But if I were a Green Bay fan, I'd be pretty ticked off. Fact is, Favre gives them the best chance to win. When Green Bay has six wins, Packer fans are going to line up and hang themselves. And how about Tim Donaghy? Is 15 months in the hole fair? I'm not sure, but I will say this: Donaghy should start writing a book, if he hasn't already. Don't know about you, but whatever he knows that the NBA hasn't disclosed...I'm sure the public would be more than willing to listen. And, um, what's up with the Pistons signing Kwame Brown? OK, so they go from having one washed-up, useless first-round pick (Darko Milicic) to another? I realize Kwame's a big body, but he has shown absolutely nothing. He's soft. His hands suck. The biggest thing he's accomplished in his career was being the perfect bargaining chip for the Lakers when they got Gasol. I know the Pistons have successfully undertaken some reclamation projects (Rasheed, Chauncey, Rip, and Ben Wallace), but I just see KB having a minimal impact.

Jul 29th, 2008

213

UNITY Wrap-up: Does The Liver Regenerate?

Anybody got an answer for me on that one? Let's hope the liver does regenerate. I'm on my way back from Chicago, who hosted this year's UNITY convention -- which is the gathering of all four of the minority journalism groups (National Association of Black Journalists, National Association of Hispanic Journalists, Asian American Journalists Association, and the Native American Journalists Association). I learned a lot, partied some (can't do it like I used to), and couldn't help but feel a bit wistful after reuniting with many old friends and colleagues. This year's convention was highlighted by two significant factors -- the widespread dismantling of the newspaper industry and Barack Obama speaking to the convention on Sunday. I'd like to deal with what's going on in the newspaper industry, though. For those that don't know, I was in newspapers for a decade before coming to ESPN in November '06. Newspapers, in fact, always will be my first love. But in the two years since I've left newspapers, there has been a dramatic, depressing shift in the industry. Layoffs and buyouts are widespread. Not sure if you've noticed, but when you buy a newspaper these days, you are getting far less for your money. I've seen sports sections that are six or eight pages. Reporters are being asked to juggle numerous tasks, which is resuulting in a watered-down, generic product. Sounds like a great business plan, doesn't it? Give them less, but make them pay more. I'm curious: Do you all read newspapers anymore? If you do, why? If you don't...why? My 10-cent theory on newspapers: Newspaper READERSHIP is fine. Newspaper SUBSCRIPTIONS? Well, that's an entirely different issue. I contend people read newspapers as much as they ever did. Maybe more. They just read it online for free. Years ago, newspapers made the fatal mistake of behaving like the Internet wasn't going to last and they're still paying for their stupidity. They didn't commit to online and now they're scrambling to capitalize on a healthy, growing online audience. Unfortunately, newspapers haven't figured out a way to make people pay for that information. Why subscribe to a paper when you can read online for free? Newspapers also panicked. Obviously, the online audience was growing and they had no clue how to deal with the Internets. Regardless, television, radio, bloggers and other media outlets still follow the lead of newspapers. Most of the significant journalists on our network have a strong newspaper background. Journalism hasn't changed. The distribution, however, has. A special skill set is required to be a journalist, but the flurry of blogs has made it so EVERYONE can be a reporter. Kobe's comments about Andrew Bynum last summer were captured via cameraphone by a regular Joe. It's just the way things work nowadays. You get any athlete in an "interesting" situation and congrats, you're a media member. Newspapers' biggest problem is understanding how to stay relevant. They're idea of being hip is still 15 years behind. I once saw a statistic that the average newspaper reader is 55. Wow. That means my 50-year-old mother is thinking, man, the newspaper is LAME. Blogs are popular because they tap into an angst-ridden, fanatic, smart-ass, irreverent, pop-culture driven, culture. Everyone needs/deserves a voice. For a long time, newspapers have assumed their readers are stupid, particularly sports fans. Blogs have shown that not only are they intelligent, but they realize that half the time, they're being fed bullshit. Fans feel empowered enough to challenge newspapers and the media, in general, about the message they're being fed. As I said, there will always be a place for newspapers. They will survive. Because, after all, you can't take the laptop in the bathroom with you, right?

Jul 26th, 2008

212

Off To Unity, Hope To Get Dove

I may not be blogging as much as I normally do over the next few days because I'm headed to the UNITY conference in Chicago, where the four largest minority journalism groups are converging to professionally develop, discuss pertinent media issues and, of course, party. In fact, I jokingly call it the professional Freaknik. Each group -- the Asian American Journalists Association, the National Association of Hispanic Journalists, the National Association of Black Journalists and the Native American Journalists Association -- holds their individual conventions annually, but every four years we come together. UNITY, get it? I'm sure it will be about 7,000 journalists there, and I may be low-ballin' it. I've been a member of NABJ for 16 years, since I was a It's a time to see old friends I've made in the business throughout the years. This year, I'm participating on an awesome panel at the ESPN mentor breakfast. ESPN anchor Michael Kim -- who we recently decided to call Lil' Kim -- is the moderator. On Saturday, I'm moderating another panel that includes Kevin Blackistone from Around The Horn, Jesus Ortiz (baseball writer for the Houston Chronicle) and Dinn Mann (president of MLB.com), among others. The discussion centers around the impact of the Internet on newspapers. Anyway, I'm a little nervous for this convention. The ESPN mentor breakfast panel is about transitioning into various multimedia platforms. I'll be addressing my suspension publicly -- as in front of folks -- for the first time. Some people are surprised at this, but for me, it's a no brainer. The younger journalists who frequent this convention can learn from my mistake. When you are stretched across multiple platforms, you inherit a lot of responsibility and my suspension was not only a reminder about the power of words, but how much more impact they have when you do television, radio and writing. On to something more light-hearted: One of my girls is already at the convention and she told me this hilarious story about a crackhead/enterpreneur. Is being addicted to crack funny? No, but crackheads can be hilarious (see: Tyrone Biggums). The story: Apparently, the onky thing around the convention center is a chicken joint and the early reports are that on the scasle of ghetto, it's a 9.5. One of our friends went to the chicken spot yesterday and was approached by a crackhead, who offered to sell our mutual friend some Dove body wash for under $3. And I must say, given that Dove is running $5-$7 in the store, that's a deal. As many of you know, I grew up in Detroit. Crackheads roamed my neighborhood, and everyone knows the neighborhood crackhead is like Red in Shawshank Redemption. They can get you just about anything. When I was growing up, the crackheads sold us shoes and video games. I don't think I paid more than $15 for a game for years. But never did they sell us body wash. That's some new shit. Another convention-goer went to this same chicken shack, and they were offered a half can of bug spray and some pampers. Now I don't mean to be that one that complains about a hook-up, but what's up with the half can? Betcha it wasn't Raid, either. If I'm an enterprising crackhead, here's what I'd do: Figure out a way to steal gas. If a group of crackheads banded together and stole gas, they would have to turn people away. I am openly supporting this. I don't buy things on the black market (anymore), but I will break that rule for gas. Step your game up, crackheads!

Jul 23rd, 2008

211

The Facebook Breakup

It's amazing how much technology has impacted relationships. Thanks to caller ID the ol' I-didn't-know-you-called excuse doesn't work. Cellphones are basically a tether. Text messages, as evidenced by the trouble that Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick has gotten into, are a sure-fire liability if accessed by the wrong people. You can't creep like you used to. Quick story: One of my girls found out about her man's other woman because his cellphone accidentally dialed home, where he lived with my girl, his main woman. So when my girl picked up the phone, she heard her man organizing with the side piece. She didn't hear anything grimy, but it was clear they were involved. One word: Keyguard. But here's another technology downside I hadn't considered: How Facebook -- or other social networks -- has impacted breakups. A buddy of mine broke up with his girlfriend and unfortunately, he was one of those people who designated that he's "in a relationship" on his Facebook page. One problem: Any change to your relationship status and all your Facebook friends are notified. How messy is that? Sometimes, when you break up with somebody, you only want to tell your close friends. You don't want to tell hundreds of people, about 70 percent of which you probably don't know that well. I've got nearly 500 Facebook friends. Think I want to tell them my relationship status? Hells no. Not that I have anything to hide, but it's none of their business. Checking off that relationship box has now created a whole bunch of unnecessary drama for my boy. Should he be the first one to change his relationship status to 'single?' Or, should he wait for her to do it? What does he do with the mutual friends? Un-friend them or keep them? At the very least, he has to un-friend the ex-girlfriend, doesn't he? Otherwise, she can check his page and keep tabs on him. What's the protocol for a Facebook breakup?

Jul 22nd, 2008

210

Movie Review: Dark Knight

(Editor's note: Might be some spoilers in here. I'm just freestylin') In a word: Phenomenal. I'll be jumping all over the map with this one, so bear with me. A friend of mine who covers entertainment told me last week that Dark Knight was the best movie she'd ever seen. That's high praise, especially since she's a movie snob. I wouldn't say it's the best ever -- maybe the best Batman movie ever? -- but I can't see too many films being better than that one this year. To date, Ironman was the best movie I'd seen in the last six months (qualifier: I don't see a whole lot of movies). But I'd put Dark Knight and Ironman in different categories. If you want more light-hearted entertainment, go with Ironman. If you want something dark and frightening, Dark Knight's your flick. In talking about Dark Knight, there's really only one place to start -- with deceased actor Heath Ledger, who plays the Joker. When you finish this film, you experience supereme disappointment because Ledger's untimely death means he'll never reappear in this series. And that is truly tragic because Ledger's portrayal of the Joker is definitely the best acting I've seen this year. I'll be stunned if he doesn't get some serious Oscar and Golden Globe consideration. Even when the Batman comic reinvented itself into something darker, I don't think anyone ever feared the Joker. Certainly not in the first parade of Batman movies when Jack Nicholson was the Joker and definitely not in the corny TV series, where they turned the Joker into a buffoon. But this Joker? Yeah, he's on some different shit. Ledger turned the Joker into something terrifying and monstrous. You fear him. He's a true sociopath, killing for killing's sake. Yes, he's got a a sense of humor. But it's not ha-ha funny, it's more like, I'm laughing and quietly peeing my pants because this guy is disturbed. The directors made a brilliant move by giving us no background on the Joker. They wanted the audience to not have a point of origin so you would continually ask yourself throughout the movie, WTF is wrong with this cat? We have no idea how he got scarred, where he came from, or how he rose to power. One of the Joker's terrifying bits in the film is to tell a different story about how he was scarred to someone he's about to kill. Ledger is to the Joker what Anthony Hopkins is to Hannibal Lector in Silence Of The Lambs. He's smarter than everyone. He's dangerous and deadlier. He seems completely uncatchable. When you watch Ledger, you wonder what kind of dark place did he go to in order to unearth a portrayal like this? What sort of demon did he summon? There are several points in the movie where you're thinking...damn, Batman just ain't got shit on this dude. He's not as buff as Batman, but his thirst for killing is far superior to any other villain. Clearly, the film was setup for Ledger to take over this franchise and honestly, it would be practically impossible to find someone to play the Joker as well as Ledger. Then again, I thought they'd have a hard time replacing Michael Keaton as Batman. Final word on the Joker: Ledger smoked Nicholson. Other tidbits about the movie: - Wasn't real impressed with Aaron Eckhart, who played Harvey Dent. Didn't have a strong presence. He was milquetoast. - Speaking of which...Maggie Gyllenhaal was pretty useless. Of course, I tend to be hard on movie damsels. They tried to pump up a love triangle between her, Bruce Wayne and Dent, but it didn't add to the movie. It got in the way. Thank God the Rachel Dawes character will not be in the third flick, assuming there is one. Oops, that was a spoiler. - Morgan Freeman is destined to spend the rest of his acting career cast as The Smart Black Man Who That Serves As The Main Character's Conscious (see: Seven, Kiss The Girls, Shawshank Redemption, Along Came A Spider, Deep Impact, etc.) - It kept freaking me out how Christian Bale would talk in a normal, human tone when he was Bruce Wayne and then when he was Batman, he'd use this weird, raspy, voice that made it sound like he had a microphone in his throat. It also looked like they gave Batman fangs. I'm not sure what that was about. - My guess is you'll be disappointed with the way they wrapped up the Dent storyline, but you will be thoroughly impressed with how they jacked up his face. You wanted to turn away every time it was on screen. - Be prepared to be on your seat the last 45 minutes. Every time you think it's going to end one way, here comes something else. Quite entertaining watching Batman and Joker try to outsmart each other. Overall, this is a movie you'll want to see again. Already, there are reports the movie has successfully notched the biggest box office opening in history, having taken in $155.4 million through Sunday. Everybody is acting unsure about a third, but trust me, this movie is easily going to gross a half a billion. There will be a third. Gary Oldman, who plays Commissioner Gordon, slightly let the cat out of the bag by saying not only should they recast the Joker, but add the Riddler, too. Something to comment on: Who would make a good Joker, or a good Riddler? If they're trying to go dark, Anthony Hopkins would make a good Riddler. The reinvention of Batman was just so genius and it saved the franchise. Batman's transition is very similar to that of James Bond. They had to make Bond darker, too. These days, people connect more with talented, flawed, but tortured super heroes. Before, we were always sold on the good side of being a super hero, but films have done an excellent job of exposing the down side, too. I'm fascinated by the vulnerabilities and sacrifice of these characters, more so than their strength and abilities. Batman will always hold a special place because he's a self-made superhero. He wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider, or born on a mystery planet. He came by his the old fashioned way.

Jul 20th, 2008

209

Travel Hell

I'm trying to think of how I can sum up my travel experience Friday without unloading a bunch of f-bombs, s-bombs, and a-bombs. Really not sure if that's possible, though. The combination of a post 9/11 world and airlines pretty much deciding that treating customers like crap is standard has made travel a gi-normous pain in the ass. Where's the respect? Where's the decency? Where's the accountability? Friday's experience was tougher to swallow because it was something I shouldn't have had to endure in the first place. Don't you hate it when your entire day is ruined because one person didn't do their job? Anyway, my day started off simple. I did First Take, then had lunch in the newly-remodeled ESPN cafeteria. Actually, let me take you off track for a minute, and say a few words about the ESPN cafeteria. It's a cafeteria on steroids. Flat screens, an X-box, booths and pretty good food. They make fresh pizza in a brick oven. There's a deli, a pasta bar and now an atrium. It's ridiculous. OK, so back to the story: I had a 5:10 p.m. flight out of Hartford on Delta. Things were looking up initially. I secured a first-class upgrade at the last minute. I'll fully admit that I'm a travel snob. It's getting to a point where if I can't get an upgrade, I'm a little pissy about it. It's not that I think I'm the shit, but honestly, if you travel as frequently as I do, all you want on an airplane is to be able to stretch out and eat something that doesn't taste like a shoe. If you fly in coach, you're forced to fold into a seat that's really built for a 6-year-old. I also recently read that a few airlines have gone so far as to cut their in-flight movies. On other airlines, you have to pay to view a movie. It's beyond absurd. So I'm sitting on my flight, cozying up with some college and pro football research material. OK, I'll be honest. I was studying up on some fantasy football prospects. The plane starts speeding down the runway and suddenly....BOOM. It sounded like someone had fired a shotgun right next to me. Everybody jumped. The plane slowed down, before coming to a halt. The pilot jumps on the speaker and tells us he basically doesn't know what the hell just happened. We go back to our gate. Now, if you've ever been on a plane that's had a mechanical issue, you should know the drill. You wait forever. They tell you nothing. After a nearly 30-minute wait, the pilot informs us that the right engine blew while we were on the runway and was leaking oil. The plane was done. Better for that to happen on the runway than in the air. I thank Jesus for that. Anyway, we herd off the plane to participate in that infamous mad scramble of re-booking our flights. It's a little after six at this point and I know that there's a direct flight to Orlando at 8:30 p.m on Southwest. There was no way I was going to go for the usual airline Okey-doke, which is to put you up in the hotel for a night because they don't want to give the fare money to another airline. The Delta rep informs me that they don't have a partnership with Southwest. See, this is what completely pisses me off about airlines. When they screw you, they really don't care about making it right. At this point, they should be trying to do whatever they can to make this as convenient of an experience as they possibly can. Think they did that? Hell naw. Instead, I was re-booked on a United flight with a connection in D.C. Not too bad. The issue was that the flight left in 45 minutes and of course, Delta wasn't going to help me out and send my bags over to United. Again, too easy. I had to go get my bags from baggage claim, go to United and check in, which meant going through security for a second time. Delta decided to release everyone's bags because the flight was going to be cancelled. Or so everyone thought. When I got to baggage claim, they refused to release the bags because they had just gotten word that the once-cancelled flight was now in business again. I'd like to know who the hell was brave enough to get back on that flight. And I really felt bad for all the people they'd sent to hotels already, thinking the flight was permanently cancelled. It took about 20 minutes for me to get me my bag. I hauled ass to United and got my bag checked. And keeping with the theme of this story...of course, it wasn't that easy. I was flagged by security because I was changing flights at the last minute. Context doesn't mean much to security. I was frisked, they rifled through my carry-on, tested every possible particle and ink pen. Thank you, Delta. It was a lovely experience. I barely made my re-booked flight. From there, everything was pretty uneventful. The moral of this story is that airlines SUCK. They don't make you feel good about spending your money, and they seem absolutely shocked that people can't stand them. They're giving us, the consumer, less and less, but they want us to spend more and more. To hell with them.

Jul 19th, 2008

208

A Lil' Boy Phenomenon?

It's recently come to my attention that there's a certain gross rite of passage that little boys go through, and I've come here to the gallery requesting corroboration. Long story-short: Over the last couple days, I've become aware that little boys...how shall I put this delicately...er, relieved themselves, uh, on themselves. Let me explain. I'm not talking about when you're a baby. I mean when you're 7, 8, 9, sometimes 11 years old. Well after you've been potty-trained. My boyfriend told me a story about a friend's son, who was playing outside, didn't want to come in and used his khakis as a urinal. Then he tried to hide it by telling his father it was "Gatorade." He, of course, was given a Kimbo Slice-like ass whupping. A dear female friend told me about her former boyfriend, whose son did the same thing. Only he came up with something more creative than Gatorade. He balled up the soiled clothes, put them in a bag and hid them near the family bar in the basement. And left them there for months...and months...and months. When summertime rolled around, their basement strangely smelled like the inside of an elephant's ass. Not that I know what that smells like. Maybe because I'm a woman I find this completely absurd and foul. Little girls, far as I know, just don't do this. But all you former little boys out there, I expect you to give me some insight. Have you ever had a "accident?" Fess up.

Jul 17th, 2008

207

Off Politics, On To Favre

I've been one of the more outspoken critics of Brett Favre the last few years. He's whiny. He's bratty (Brat Favre!). He's a diva. It bothered me that he and Roger Clemens were routinely characterized as "having the right" to be a pain in the ass, when other athletes -- particularly black ones -- were vilified for doing the same thing. Barry Bonds wanted his own personal space in the San Francisco clubhouse, and the media never let him forget it. But it's OK for Clemens to not attend road games? Whaaaa? Anyway, this time, I'm actually in Favre's corner. For Green Bay not to have the gall to tell him the only way he could return is as a backup is just absolutely moronic. It's stupid. The Packers seemed to have forgotten that Favre played his best ball in years last season and got them to within one game of the Super Bowl. Even at 198 years old, Favre is better than Aaron Rodgers. In fact, Rogers will never sniff the career that Favre has had. Hey, I understand that for Green Bay, this is partially about get-back. They're pissed because they're sick of Favre being bigger than the organization. But if this is truly about winning football games, then the return of Favre is a no brainer. They've pretty much got the same team they did a year ago. I'm sure the players like Aaron Rodgers and trust him, but not as much as they trust Favre. Look at the poor quality of quarterbacks around the NFL. Hell, just focus in on the QBs in the NFC North division alone. Rex Grossman. Tavaris Jackson. Jon Kitna. Clearly, Favre is far superior than anyone in his entire division. He's still a top-10 guy, despite a face spray painted with gray. Green Bay decision not to release Favre only proves they obviously still believe in his abilities. They're afraid he'll go to Minnesota, Tampa Bay, or Chicago and later kick their ass in the playoffs. Or worse, go to another Super Bowl. Well, if that's the case, let him return! Now the Packers have painted themselves in an unwinnable situation. After being offered the backup job, there is no way Favre can put on a Green Bay uniform. I doubt if someone gives Green Bay a juicy enough trade offer. Eventually, I believe they'll be forced to release Favre. Green Bay has a pretty tough schedule this season, so when they're 4-8 with Rogers, the fans are going to be brutal and they'll deserve it. Don't get me wrong. I could do without Favre's whining. The only reason he retired is because the Packers didn't kiss his ass enough in the offseason. He's like a woman with no self esteem -- needs to feel desired all the time. Besides, like a lot of vets, Favre abhors training camp. I'm convinced that's the only reason Michael Strahan went through the antics of last season. Prepare for this to drag out the rest of the summer.

Jul 15th, 2008

206

More On Obama And Jesse

My friend Keith Reed, whose $ Out Of 15 cents blog on BET.com is a must read, offered an original take on the Jesse-Barack controversy. Keith also took issue with Obama's Father Day speech, where he chastized black fathers for their lack of presence in their children's lives. A committed father himself, Keith explains that the government is a constant obstacle for committed, non-custodial parents like himself. Enjoy: By Keith Reed It's cliche in my business that reporters take quotes out of context, repeating a verbal gaffe so much its idiocy becomes a bigger story than whatever the speaker was trying to say. Mostly us writer types raise a middle finger at the "out of context" defense and mostly we should. When politicians and businessmen are embarrassed by their stupid statements, they blame the messenger. The irony this week is that Jesse Jackson owned his stupidity and apologized for saying he wanted to "cut [Barack Obama's] nuts off" (seriously, Jesse?). But an important debate for black folks got lost in the wake. Jesse was trying to call out Barack (we're on a first name basis with both, no?) on what he viewed as pandering to a right-leaning morals crowd more interested in hammering black people about our family pathologies than addressing decades old policies that have done much to exacerbate the strains on black mommies, daddies and kids. Both opinions have merit: responsible parents don't need the government in their way when they're trying to do right by their kids, but times is tough and some folk need a hand. Black folk – and Americans as a whole – have some serious issues when it comes to marriage and parenting, but political stump speeches ain't feeding nobody's kids nor are they bringing daddies back to the dinner table. Neither approach works without the other. That said, and Jesse's plans for Barack's gonads aside, I found myself in a rare, private fight with Barack after his Father's Day speech, where he regurgitated the standard "too many fathers also are is missing…they have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men" rhetoric. Not that I disagree; like Barack, growing up without my father has made parenting my own kids a near-pathological pursuit of mine. But let's be honest with ourselves: every mama's not a saint and spewing rehashed attacks on black males in front of a church packed with women might raise applause, but it does nothing to rectify the out-of-whack child support, welfare, custody and family court systems in this country. Like irresponsible black fathers, those institutions aren't doing right by many of our kids. In thousands of instances, they facilitate petty disputes and exacerbate financial hardships that keep fathers separate from their families. It's on this point, though, that things get interesting: lost, again, in most coverage about the Father's Day speech was that Obama introduced legislation that many non-custodial fathers – myself included -- would argue is overdue. The bill, called "The Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act", has provisions that would steer all child support money collected on behalf of kids to actually go to the custodial parent who has them. As it stands, states take a cut to reimburse themselves for any aid the custodial parent gets or for their collection efforts. It would also make parents paying child support eligible for the earned-income tax credit. Currently, only the parent with custody gets any tax consideration, despite the fact that many non-custodial parents make significant financial contributions. This is a factor I've dealt with personally. I pay child support, which comes out of my paycheck after taxes, but can claim neither of my sons as a dependent because they don't live with me. Thus I'm taxed as if I'm a single person with no responsibilities, not like a working father and the government takes cash from me that could be put toward my boys' college savings or other needs. The legislation includes other provisions to strengthen enforcement and collection of child support from those who don't pay but should and would fund parenting and family education programs to help young people understand the responsibilities of having a kid. It's a solid proposal but by no means guaranteed to pass. States aren't going to walk away from the millions they take off the top of child support payments without a fight. Taking up fathers' rights on an issue where the discourse long ago devolved into "deadbeat dad" sound bites isn't politically expedient for a presidential candidate. That's exactly why I wish whatever substance there was in Barack's Father's Day speech and Jesse's nuts-cutting-off retort hadn't gotten lost. Black families are in need of a good-old fashioned revival, however you define that. Many also need the kind of help only changes in policy can bring about. Publicizing stupid words and political catch phrases won't do either.

Jul 14th, 2008

205

What Do Jesse And Al Really Mean?

Props to Mizzo at The Starting Five for his unbelievably well-written post on the Jesse-Obama rift. As I said in my previous blog post, the issue isn't what Jesse said. Probably isn't the first time Jesse has gotten out of pocket, and it won't be the last. Is it professional jealousy? Of course. Jesse has been leading black people since most of us were gobbling momma's milk. In a lot of ways, you could give Jesse the Brett Favre card, saying he's earned the right to say what's on his mind. What the mainstream doesn't seem to understand is that the ideological beef taking place between Jesse and Obama has been going on since W.E.B DuBois and Booker T. Washington, and even before them. But here's two other large issues the Jesse-Obama rift has created: 1. Why is Obama being forced to apologize for other black folks? 2. What does Jesse mean to the black community? Let's deal with No. 1, first. Why is this the second time that Obama has had to prove his "presidentiality" by distancing himself from other black people -- most notably the ones that white people seem to have issue with? Look, we all know Rev. Wright is edgier than most clergymen. But anyone who has been to a black Baptist church in the last 15 years will hear a lot of the same rhetoric. Rev. Wright is looking at things from a Biblical perspective, as a man who has lived through decades of racial tension and flimsy policy. I'm not trying to excuse what he said, but it seems we've become a nation that is oblivious to context. What Jesse said was definitely inappropriate. He's been in the game long enough to know that the mic is ALWAYS hot (see: Hymietown ). A more tactful approach would be to try to work with Obama instead of being an obstacle. But this is where I want to slightly pull Obama's card. Instead of playing nice with Hilary, it would have been a smart move to try to develop a relationship with Jesse and Al Sharpton. Regardless of what you may think of these two -- and I'm definitely in the camp that sometimes, they need to sit their asses down -- the fact remains that they've been battling and they're galvanizers. They've been doing work that, quite frankly, a lot of people have been unwilling to do. They've spearheaded national conversations, confronted difficult situations and endured a level of hatred and criticism that, as Mizzo points out, a lot of us would never-EVAH have the guts to endure. And that leads me to my second question...what does Jesse mean to black people?Or rather, what should he mean to black people? What's his legacy? Whatever the answers, it shouldn't be determined by how Jesse is viewed in the mainstream, where it's trite and easy to carry the EAJ (Everybody Against Jesse) campaign. Certainly if we broke down Jesse using an Entourage analogy, he's 'E' to MLK's Vince. Though, if we're being honest, Jesse has had many instances where he's acting more like Turtle. I'll say this: Jesse shouldn't be used as a pawn for Obama to prove to the mainstream he's one of "them." Obama is a modern, perfect example of the duality and strain that black people face when in leadership positions. Can't be too "white" for fear of being considered a traitor. Can't be too "black" for fear of making the decision-makers uncomfortable. That Obama has to apologize or even explain the actions of other black people is absurd, and shows that once again the mainstream has not accepted that there are differing viewpoints in the black community. Always has been.

Jul 13th, 2008

204

Dreamin'

Ever have a dream that was so screwed up that when you finally woke up it made you re-evaluate your life? You start wondering if what you dreamt about is some kind of metaphor or warning. If you dream about blue diamonds and purple horseshoes, you start thinking...am I about to get hit by a bus or win the lottery? Last night, I had the most terrifying dream I've had in years. Last time I had a nightmare it was 1980. I went to see Star Wars and Darth Vader scared the hell out of me. James Earl Jones' voice haunted me. Anyway, until last night, I've never died in a dream. I dreamt I was shot multiple times. And as I was dying, I kept repeating a prayer to Jesus and asking for forgiveness right before I checked out. It really spooked me. So I got online today and looked up some things on dream analysis. Here's what it said about when you dream of your own death: "To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or in your life. Although such a dreams may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm and is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something. On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation. To see someone dying in your dream, signifies that your feelings for that person are dead or that a significant change/loss is occurring in your relationship with that person. Alternatively, you may want to repress that aspect of yourself that is represented by the dying person." Pretty deep, huh? I do sense there are some big changes ahead, that I'm transitioning into another phase both personally and professionally. I found it interesting that dreaming of my own death is relative to an awakening, spiritual connection. If there is one area in my life that I've been slacking on lately, it's definitely my relationship with God. I haven't been to church in a couple of years. I still pray, but not as consistent as I would like and I know from past experience, no matter who or how you choose to worship, it's hard to make up the spiritual distance created by lack of fellowship. Maybe that was the root of my dream. Either way, it seems like life is waiting to surprise me.

Jul 13th, 2008

203

Jesse v. Obama

If it's true that Jesse Jackson told Fox's Sean Hannity that he wanted to "rip" Obama's "nuts off," I got a C-note that says Obama would give Jesse a two-piece with a biscuit in a real fight. All kidding aside, Jesse just made himself a whole lot of enemies with this. Not that he lacked any. Lots of layers here. First, there isn't official confirmation that those were the words Jesse used, but if Jesse did say that, that's real low brow. Word is, Jesse has beef with Obama because he feels like Obama is using a morality message to black folks and not addressing how policy has contributed to the decimation of many black communities. To me, it sounds like Jesse is a little jelly (jealous). He's always jockeying to be MFN (Most Favorite Negro), and maybe Jesse is feeling threatened. Despite this being an obvious case of crabs in a barrel, Jesse's angry tirade did touch on something that's discussion worthy. Personally, I find refreshing that Obama has preached accountability, but there is no doubt this is could cause an ideological rift/shift. American policy's impact on racism needs to be addressed, too. And there is a fear among African Americans that the personal responsibility edicts often give policy a free pass. Without a doubt, the unequal drug sentencing -- which has made a drastic distinction between white collar (cocaine) and blue collar (crack) criminals - has had a severe, sickening impact on eroding black communities and destroying young, black males, who are disproportionately represented in prison. Since the core of the black community has rebelled against personal responsibility messages in the past -- just look at the mixed reactions to Bill Cosby's speeches -- I'm wondering if Obama's personal responsibility ethos will alienate those who agree with Jesse's philosophy. Could this ideology difference cause a rift among black voters? I also wonder if Jesse supporters -- and he still has quite a few -- will turn their back on him because he dissed Obama. Remember Obama is down with Oprah. You insult Obama, and you're pimp-smackin' Oprah at the same time. Dangerous situation. Crude words aside, the mainstream media should understand that black people have differing opinions. And it's not newsworthy when they do. Whenever Jesse and Al Sharpton are in the midst of one of their episodes, the news stations go out of their way to find a dissenting, black voice. They act is if we're all going to meet up, take a vote and kick somebody out of the race like they committed treason. If I were Jesse, I wouldn't apologize for my beliefs. I'd apologize for the language used, but that's it. If anything, this is partly a generational issue. Jesse was in the thick of a time where blacks didn't have basic Civil rights, but a higher sense of personal responsibility. Twice as many black people were married then, meaning, unlike now, the majority of black kids came from two-parent homes. But that still didn't stop the water hoses being turned on black people, the riots and many other atrocities AAs suffered in their quest to be considered equals. Everybody can drink from the same water fountain now, but there's a general lack of respect inside our culture that has gone unchecked. We celebrate failure and non-achievement. Not everyone, but it's a mindset that has gripped young, black kids in particular. Both ideologies are spot on.

Jul 9th, 2008

202

Here Comes The Old Woman In Me

I've gotta say, this is a law I wish everyone would enforce. Call me old-school, un-hip, but I hate sagging. And thank God the Flint chief of police is just as bothered by it as I am -- so much so he's decided to use the indecent exposure laws to crack down on it. Apparently, this is has become a nationwide trend. A few other cities also have begun crackdowns. Good for them. Nothing bothers me more than seeing a guy walking around with half his ass hanging out. It's disrespectful. It looks awful. The world doesn't need to see your Sylvester n' Tweety boxers. If I see someone coming into a place a business with shorts that fit like coolocks (yeah I went there), I'm assuming a lot of unflattering things about that particular person. Like, mainly, a severe lack of home training. I get that this is teenage rebellion and every generation did something that was essentially a big middle finger to adults. There was rock n' roll, NWA, 2 Live Crew -- I've seen virtually every phase. But considering sagging is a trend started in prison -- inmates have to sag because belts are banned for fear some of them might practice natural selection -- it has broader negative connotations for serial saggers. Why imitate a trend that was established in a place you really don't want to end up? It's cool to emulate a dude doing a 10-to-15-year stretch? I know some guys like to sag because they want a little more thigh room, but most clothing companies specifically make wider-leg jeans and longer basketball shorts to compensate for the sagging trend. So it's not like anyone is forced to into a life of John Stockton-style nut huggers. Looking at this from a dating standpoint: If you're a man over 30, still sagging and wearing t-shirts that are four times too big, that might be why you can't get with a professional woman. I also can't date anybody who considers Lil' Wayne a good rapper, but that's a blog for another day. Anyway, isn't it funny how you eventually become the adults you can't stand? Had you asked me about sagging in '92, I would have told you it was harmless, that you were being a tight-ass, and then I would have started bumpin' Dre's Chronic. My opinion on sagging has changed, thanks to age, wisdom and a better understanding that what young folks don't know can kill them. But best believe, I'm still bumpin' Chronic. I'm not totally washed up.

Jul 9th, 2008

201

Chick-Fil-A Is...

It's taken (muffled sound) years, but my Chick-Fil-A cherry is finally busted. On Monday, I had Chick-Fil-A for the first time. I can hear the chorus of gasps, but let me explain why I'm late to the scene on this one. I'm from Detroit and we don't have Chick-Fil-A. We have White Castles, but no Chick-Fil-A. Anyway, this is the second time I've lived in the South. When I lived in Raleigh earlier in my career, I just never felt compelled to try Chick-Fil-A. What compelled me to try it on Monday was the smell. I was on my way to the Sprint store and the smell of those waffle fries grabbed me and didn't let go. OK, my honest assessment of Chick-Fil-A: It's not as good as Wendy's spicy chicken filet. It's a close second. Even with the pickles and the buttered bun, the Chick-Fil-A sandwich was slightly overrated. But the waffle fries? I'd rank them right up there with McDonald's fries, which still are a 1 seed in fast food fries. Which reminds me...you guys should know by now that I'm all about lists. So here's some important top-5 breakdowns regarding fast food. DISCLAIMER: These choices are based off regional availability. TOP-5 FAST FOOD WHEN DRUNK: 5. Wendy's 4. McDonalds (for the fries alone) 3. Tommy Burgers (the people from Los Angeles know what I'm talking about) 2. White Castle 1. Taco Bell TOP-5 FAST FOOD FRIES 5. Bojangles 4. White Castle 3. Arby's Homestyle Fries 2. Chick-Fil-A 1. McDonald's TOP-5 FAST FOOD BURGERS 5. Whataburger 4. Carl's Jr 3. Fatburger 2. Steak N' Shake 1. In N' Out (best burger I've ever had) TOP-5 WORST FAST FOOD IDEAS 5. The KFC Bowl (seems to resemble prison food) 4. Burger King BK Veggie Burger (dry and tasteless) 3. McGriddle 2. Subway Meatball sub (just sounds wrong) 1. McRib EDIT: TOP-5 FAST FOOD MILKSHAKES 5. Sonic 4. McDonald's 3. Burger King 2. Whataburger 1. Steak N' Shake TOP-5 CHICKEN NUGGETS 5. McDonald's Premium Select 4. Wendy's 3. White Castle Chicken Rings 2. Chick-Fil-A 1. Zaxby's TOP-5 BREAKFAST SANDWICHES 5. Sausage, Egg, Cheese Biscuit (McDonald's) 4. Sausage, Egg, Cheese Crossan'wich (Burger King) 3. Bagel B.E.L.T (Tim Hortons) 2. Egg McMuffin 1. Bacon, Egg, Cheese Biscuit (McDonald's) TOP-5 CHICKEN JOINTS 5. Chick-Fil-A 4. KFC 3. El Pollo Loco 2. Bojangles (for the sweet tea alone. It's like crack) 1. Popeye's

Jul 8th, 2008

200

A Very Brave Column

I can't believe this column was written by someone who just graduated high school. Full disclosure: I don't know the young woman who wrote about why John McCain is getting her vote -- and it's her first vote as an adult -- but she did go to my high school alma mater. So, for me, there's a sense of pride there. But this was a brave column when you consider both her age and viewpoint. Most 17 or 18 year olds are not interested in the political process. And if I were her, I wouldn't be brave enough to tell thousands of readers -- in a city that is 80 percent black -- why I wasn't voting for a black presidential candidate. But this column touches on why I'm torn about who I will vote for in the fall. I like Barack Obama as a person. He's warm, astute and a dynamic speaker. He has an inviting personality, which is important for a president whose goal should be to unite Americans. But to be frank, I haven't been very impressed with his policies. He says things that, as this young columnist said, sound good theoretically, but practically, I doubt if it ever happens. I'm encouraged by his idealism, but not by his common sense. The truth is, he can't pull out of Iraq anytime soon, even if he might want to. So, why sell that as a campaign plan? But I do feel as if the history of the moment is overwhelming people. I'm a realist. I want to know how things will be done. And when I compare McCain and Obama, I have a better sense of that with McCain. That doesn't mean I'll vote for him, but that's how I feel right now. Obama is a touchstone for us as a country. It's our chance to prove how far we've come in racial relations. For many African Americans, a legitimate, black presidential candidate is something many of us thought they would never see. So even if Obama is inexperienced and some of his policies aren't do-able, SOME people will vote for him anyway out of respect for the watershed moment. a I get that, but I'm not sure that's a good thing. History won't lower the gas prices, get us out of Iraq, or improve the economy. Intelligent policy will. I'm proud that Obama has garned such support because that does prove something about where we are as a country. But as a candidate, he still has to do his job -- impress us with reason, decision-making and policy. EDIT: By no means do I mean to insinuate that ALL AAs are voting for Obama because of race. Like I said, he's the idealist, more inviting president. Even if you don't necessarily agree with his policies, you feel as if Obama has an open mind and is willing to consider alternative viewpoints. McCain seems to be the opposite, and that bothers me. And if I were him, I would have made more of a separation from the Dubya way of thinking. I sense a stubborness there and while I think a president should be decisive, they also don't have to operate like the smartest one in the room. See: Dubya. But no matter who we vote for, it's a two-term deal. Most economic experts predict the economy won't pick up until late next year. I doubt if we see a slowdown in gas prices for another couple years, regardless of what policies are enacted immediately. So in all likelihood, it will take the next president at least three of his four first years to get some positive policy going. In many ways, these two candidates are forcing us to be honest about what we really want in a president. Obama is the big-picture thinker. He's the visionary. McCain is more of a nuts-and-bolts, short-term guy. I don't know which one is better, but at least I have until November to hash it out.

Jul 7th, 2008

199

Look Out For My Boys

New rule: Whenever I add new links to my blogroll, I'm going to do a separate blog about it because the I'm usually pretty cool with the people I link to. This way, you get a little insight into why I chose to link to it, and maybe I can tell you a little bit about the person. Since two of my buddies have new sites I'll be linking to, I'm going to take some time to tell you a little bit about them and their site, as well as explain why I have some of the other sites up there. - The sports links: Most of those are pretty self explanatory. If you're a big time NBA fan, you should be covered in between Slam, True Hoop and Hoops Hype. If you're a fan of newspapers as I am, US Sportspages is the easiest, quickest way to scroll through all your favorite sports sections across the country. I consider The Starting Five, one of the best sports blogs out there, for people who enjoy sports-social commentary. It's very thorough and the best site in terms of merging sports, social commentary, and music. And if you like a little sports gossip, the funnier side of sports, I suggest The Big Lead and Deadspin. - The non-sports stuff: Gangrey is, again, for those who enjoy newspapers, but also for those who love long-form, introspective, intelligent journalism. I've got a pretty good sense of humor and Stuff White People Like and Stuff Educated Black People Like are hilarious. Bomani Jones and Kelley L. Carter are friends of mine who have great takes on life in general. - New links: My Page 2 buddy Jeff Pearlman has unveiled his new site. Jeff just completed his third book, "Boys Will Be Boys: The Glory Days And Party Nights Of The Dallas Cowboys." Pretty self-explanatory. Anyway, Jeff's first blog entry is hysterical. There aren't many times in life where you get to reference Jason Giambi's poop. And finally, I'm also adding 1,369 lightbulbs to the links. Great introspective writing from my boy Jamil, who is equally passionate about sports and politics. He's a Browns and Cavs fan, so pray for him.

Jul 7th, 2008

198

NASCAR Is The Shiz

Although I've been covering sports professionally for 11 years, there are still a couple of sporting events I haven't experienced. - Never been to a NBA All-Star weekend - Never been to Wimbledon, or any of the tennis grand slams - Never been to the Masters - Never been to the Tour de France On Saturday, I was able to knock an important "never" off my list. I attended the the Coke Zero 400, which officially goes down as my first NASCAR race. I came away thoroughly impressed. It made me understand why NASCAR connects to its fan base probably better than any other pro sports league. The best sporting events are those that also are huge social gatherings. Tailgating is what makes college football and the NFL such an enormous success. You can't tailgate at a hockey game. Or, the NBA. As a social-sporting event, NASCAR ranks high. NASCAR fans turn races into psuedo vacations. They drive their campers and RVs to races, setting up days before the race to party and kick back in the infield. It allows a cross section of people to have access to an event -- kids, grandparents, friends, Moms, Dads, et all. A couple of years ago a big voting base was supposed to be "NASCAR Dads," but any candidate that reaches out and affiliates themselves with NASCAR would be doing an incredibly smart thing. No. 2, there is PLENTY of alcohol and you can drink everywhere at a NASCAR event. Hey, this is an important element in professional sports. The reality is the more time that fans are allowed to drink or have access to drinks, the better the experience. No. 3: Visually, NASCAR is unbelievable. It bores me to tears to watch NASCAR on television, but in person, the race is ridiculously fast-paced. A car comes around a turn every 48 seconds. The rumble of the engines is mesmerizing. Since the Coke Zero race was at nighttime, you had this mixture of engines, the lights, a robust infield...that combination does spectacular things to the senses. And for what you get, NASCAR is relatively family friendly on the wallet. The tickets for Coke Zero were running at $125 per clip, which might seem like a lot, but we're talking about being able to enjoy an event for days, or several hours. Even if you shelled out a few thousand for the infield, you get to setup shop and have a huge party for three or four days. You see qualifying, several races...not a bad bargain. Anyway, I realize my first experience was probably above average. I was fortunate because a friend of mine works for Coors (I told you, there's liquor everywhere!) and we were able to get the V.I.P treatment (free drinks, food and a great spot in the infield at the Coors RV). A lot of African Americans are reluctant to go to NASCAR races because the fans have been stereotyped, you have the Confederate flag issue and with an improving, but overall lack of diversity among the drivers, something in the back of your head convinces you that you aren't "welcome." A few years ago, a fellow black columnist I know pretty well had an incident at a NASCAR event where someone called him the n-word and they got into a fistfight (my friend won). That incident made me a little more hesistant about going to races. But not after what I experienced Saturday. Every event has its bad days -- see: Palace Brawl in the NBA -- but I can tell you that I'm going to put the Daytona 500 on my list of "must-sees" next year. It will be worth it.

Jul 7th, 2008

197

A Fave Five For The Fourth

Our discussion on Madonna and A-Rod made me think of an intriguing question: Who do you consider over 50 and hot? I said yesterday that if A-Rod is going to celebrity creep, it shouldn't be with 50-year-old Madonna. Again, we know Madonna's a Hall of Famer in the International Freak Federation. But Madonna's lost a little off her fastball. Anyway, we all have our favorites, our lists of hot celebrities we would...uh, have dinner with. So who meets that criteria in the 50-plus crowd? Here's my fave five: 5. Lynn Swann, 56. Extremely handsome. 4. Sean Connery, 77. Hard not to love a man with an accent. Plus, he gets 10 trillion points for being James Bond. He can rock the bald head or hairplugs. 3. Richard Gere, 58. Love the silver hair. How Julia ever ran away from him in Runaway Bride, I'll never know. 2. Denzel Washington, 53. 'Zel doesn't have looks that distinguish him. He has something even better -- presence. And, charisma. 1. Ed Bradley, who is unfortunately deceased. Great journalist. Very cool. If not for stalking laws, I would have been hiding in this man's bushes with night goggles and footies a long time ago.

Jul 4th, 2008

196

Mr. and Mrs. Stray-Rod

I'm so bored with A-Rod that I've honestly tried to stay away from his nearly weeklong stampede through the tabloids. But after hearing today that he and his wife, Cynthia, are separating, I've got to break my silence. Honestly, when the news broke that he was supposedly creeping with Madonna, my first reaction was laughter. Madonna? I mean, we're not talking about "Justify My Love" Madonna or "Vogue" Madonna. We're talking about 50-year-old, new-age, children's-book writing Madonna. That's an entirely different Madonna. I know Madonna is in the International Freak Hall of Fame, but the best celebrity creep a billion-dollar man like A-Rod could come up with is Madonna? See, that's why he can't win a ring. Can't even creep with the right celebrity. Look, A-Rod could have gone through Derek Jeter's black book and just stayed in the 'B' section and come up with someone better than Madonna. If you're going to celebrity creep, you've got to make it worth it. Get somebody like Charlize Theron, or the ever-popular Gabrielle Union. Getting Madonna was basically bringing an ol' freak out of retirement. Anyway, if it's true that Mrs. A-Rod's celebrity creep is Lenny Kravitz, I pronounce Mrs. A-Rod the winner of the who-had-the-better-celebrity-creep department. Kravitz may not be as renown as Madonna, but he's got his own impressive freak resume. He turned out Lisa Bonet and her association with him was key in her getting run off the Cosby Show (the first time). Lenny still looks good. Madonna has slipped. At this point, I just hope A-Rod has a prenup. This is a good example why everybody can't handle New York. Memo to LeBron: Fish or cut bait with your baby momma before you go to New York. You can't break wind there without having it reported by seven media outlets. Most women with high-profile men can accept that they're with cheaters. What they can't accept is reading about it every day.

Jul 3rd, 2008

195

I F---king Hate Technology

When it comes to cable companies, Internet service, cellular companies, furniture...I am the Chicago Cubs. I am the lovable loser. When I deal with those entities, it never goes right for me. I bought a brand new cellphone a few months ago and it took two days and me cursing out about seven people to seal the deal. Things are so bad between me and Sprint that I'm making a monthly call to them, which successfully absorbs about an estimated hour of my life. Sprint has overcharged me for three straight months. For some reason, a service I've had for years just keeps magically disappears every month. I can't tell you how fun it was when my unlimited text messaging mysteriously disappeared and Sprint charged me nearly $800 in text messages. My theory is that the Radio Shack imbeciles screwed me over and somehow noted on my account that it's a good idea to make me miserable every month. It's payback because I went ballistic in the store, on their manager, the regional manager, and everybody that picked up the phone at Sprint. Hey, Radio Shack Counter Guy don't get pissed at me because it's 2008 and you still have Boy George's haircut. A few months ago I got a brand new desk that was twice the size of my old one. That meant that I had to reconfigure all of my Internet connections and computer wires. I've got Vonage, wireless, a cable modem and God knows what else. The back of my computer looks like Wall-E. Anyway, adding to the madness is that I have a Slingbox. In case you don't know what that is, it's this nifty little device that allows you watch your TiVo'ed programs on your laptop. Great idea. But trust me, hooking this thing up is the 47th layer of hell. My day started on a simple, electronic mission. I wanted HDTV for the living room, so I could move my old TiVo box to my office and thus hook up my Slingbox. The HDTV part was simple enough. The Direct TV guy showed up on time. He installed a new dish, hooked everything up in the living room and was out of there in less than an hour. The Slingbox From Hell...well, that was an entirely different story. That process began sometime before 3 p.m. And as I'm writing this, it's 11:03 p.m., and FINALLY, it's complete. The Slingbox is a magnificent idea, but on several occasions it will have you one step from either doing a pirouette off a skyscraper or cartwheeling into oncoming traffic. It's a very sensitive device. It's so bad that one part of it can't be hooked up to one of those multi-unit outlets. It must be hooked directly to the wall plug. There's something wrong about that. You've advanced technology to the point where you can watch TiVo anywhere, but you can only plug it into the wall? That's like saying, we have this great thing called the Internet, which allows you to access information all over the world, but you can only use it at sunrise and sundown, otherwise you'll burn like a witch. Little did I know I was essentially hooking up a nuclear warhead to my computer. I felt like Jack Bauer trying to disarm a bomb. No, it's the red one...no, the blue one...don't cross the wires or you'll incinerate! Things got so bad that I had a technician from Slingbox in an online chat, and a techie from my Internet Service Provider on the phone. Have you ever heard two techies argue? It's hilarious. I'm surprised at some point someone didn't say, "My IP address is bigger than yours." These guys were fighting about the best way for me to hook up the device. Bloods and Crips over IP addresses...go figure. I decided to go with Techie 2's advice. It worked, too. One problem: It totally knocked out my Internet service. So that led to a series of phone calls with my Internet Service people, which lead to even more shenanigans. Thank God I didn't own a gun, because I would have put about six bullets in my computer. I was a few seconds away from throwing that Slingbox in my cat's litter box and letting her give it a fresh, new scent. After a couple rounds of, We Can't Figure Out What The Hell Is Wrong, I was determined to make sure this did not end with me needing a technician to come to the house. So I resorted to the only thing I could. I basically mixed and matched a bunch of wires until everything worked. I relied on no common sense whatsoever. I followed zero logic. But damn, weren't things a lot easier when nobody had call waiting, nobody had cellphones, we all had crappy, clunky answering machines, and VCRs that were the size of kitchen cabinets. Those were the friggin' days.

Jul 2nd, 2008

194

It's Official: BD To The Clips

I'd like to give the Clippers some credit for signing Baron Davis,but I can't. It's the Clippers. Well wait, I'll try not to be so harsh. It's true that BD is already the best point guard in Clipper history, without having played a single minute. BDm Elton Brand and Chris Kaman aren't enough to make the Clippers a NBA championship team, but they will be relevant. But I'm not even sure if I can ink them in the playoffs. Here are this year's eight playoff teams from the West: Lakers, New Orleans, San Antonio, Utah, Phoenix, Dallas and Denver. The Clippers finished 23-59 last year. No doubt they should improve -- my early guess is by at least 20 wins -- but what team are they supposed to surpass in the West? The 5-8 seeds were the Suns, Mavericks and Nuggets. The Nuggest are better than the Clippers, but let's say for the sake of argument you think the Clippers will be better than Denver. Have you forgotten about Portland? Without Greg Oden, Portland won 41 games. Imagine what they do WITH Oden. Portland had a great draft, has a phenomenal young core, and I would pick them to launch into that eight spot (or higher) before I picked the Clippers. I like that the Clippers are trying. I'm not sure what it accomplishes ultimately. EDIT: I forgot to throw out the latest NBA chatter. Corey Magette to the Spurs? It could happen. If so, a dynamite pickup for the Spurs. I love the thought of Maggette going to a contender because he's would be a solid, complimentary piece. Also, the Jazz, Magic, and Celtics. He would be a significant upgrade for any of those teams.

Jul 2nd, 2008

193

NBA Free Agency

Can't let the day pass without talking about NBA free agency, particularly in light of some interesting/ridiculous developments. Gilbert Arenas is offered $100 million contracts from the Wizards and Warriors? Elton Brand wants to stay a Clipper? Baron Davis wants to join him? Ron Artest says he made a mistake by not opting out with his deal with the Kings? Lots of crazy stuff is happening. Let's talk about Agent Zero first, though. $100 mil? For a dude with chronic knee issues? Taking out the fact that it's the NBA and there are a lot of players with undeserved deals (see: Odom, Lamar), I just don't think AZ is worth $100 mil. Gil's a stat monster. He's an incredible shooter. But he makes absolutely no one better. And those knees...ay...yi...yi. 100 mil? I don't think so. Brand and BD...now that's intriguing. If it had been any other team, I would have said, sounds like a playoff team in the making. But, it's the Clippers. The only thing the Clippers know how to do is lose and destroy the psyche of talented players. Selfishly, I'd love to for BD to wind up in Detroit. As for Ron Artest...how perfect would he be for the Lakers? They need toughness on the wing and I consider him a huge upgrade over Lamar Odom as a third wheel. Artest is much tougher, an underrated scorer and no way he curls up in the fetal position the way Odom did in the Finals. One more topic to hit...What's up with 'Bron and this I-love-New-York stuff? I've told many Cleveland fans this, but the moment LeBron showed up at the Indians-Yankees series with a Yankees cap on, 'Bron would have been dead to me. In fact, 'Bron's infatuation with the Big Apple is almost a non-story. He stabbed his hometown in the back with that Yankees cap ordeal. He also released special gym shoes for the folks of New York. Cleveland Fan, how many signs do you need? He's out of there. LeBron wants a major market and while it's true that he could dominate marketing from anywhere, he doesn't want to be one in Cleveland. He wants Madison Avenue. He said before his goal was to be a "global icon" (note: He didn't say NBA champion), and the NY is where that will definitely happen. Personally, I'm a little disappointed that 'Bron is drooling over the NY. How unoriginal is that? This guy grew up a Cowboys and a Yankees fan...how did that happen? Sports loyalty runs deep in the Midwest. I understand that 'Bron didn't grow up with the Browns, but how in good conscious can he be a Yankees fan? That's just sick. Anyway, I heard something interesting from a sports fan re: LeBron. This fan believes that if Bron leaves C-town that he would rank right up there with Art Modell as the worst traitor in Cleveland history. Wow. But part of me, agrees. Also, check out ESPN's Chad Ford's list of top-20 NBA free agents.

Jul 1st, 2008

192

We Have A Winner

Thanks to everyone for some very creative names for my fantasy team. I'm in two leagues this year, so I'll be using two of the news you guys suggested. And the winners are... Terrorist Fist Jabs WBCN Tell Me How My Azz Tastes Again, thanks for all the suggestions.

Jun 30th, 2008

191

Can't Wait For This

I have a few guilty pleasures. If I ranked them in order, No. 1 would be an unshakeable addiction to Young and The Restless. And No. 1A is James Bond. Today was like Christmas for me because the new James Bond trailer was released today. I'm addicted to all things Bond. Not really sure how the obsession started, but I've got two Bond box sets, have seen all of the movies at least two or three times and like any legit Bond fan, I wholeheartedly agree that Sean Connery was the best Bond of all time. Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig are a close second. I know it's trite to go with the new-age cats, but Pierce resurrected Bond after that disastrous Timothy Dalton. And Craig has given us a meaner, nastier, more psychotic Bond than we've ever seen. Anyway, top-5 favorite Bond movies of all time: 5. A View To A Kill 4. Casino Royale 3. The World Is Not Enough 2. Live and Let Die 1. Goldfinger Worst Bond movie ever: On Her Majesty's Secret Service or anything with Timothy Dalton. Yeah, I know, the movies are formulaic. But I'm big into secret agents -- Jack Bauer, Jason Bourne, Bond, et al. The thing I love about a good Bond movie is the double entendre sex jokes. Sure, they're juvenile. But each Bond, I try to figure when exactly will the payoff sex joke occur, and how corny will it be. Case in point: In The World Is Not Enough, Denise Richards is Christmas Jones, the latest Bond chick. Bond says to her: "I thought Christmas only comes once a year." And of course who could forget the most infamous Bond girl ever, Ms. Pussy Galore. Anyway, let the countdown to the new Bond begin.

Jun 30th, 2008

190

You Gotta Read This

Fantastic piece by ESPN.com's Michael Weinreb on the Len Bias, who has now been dead for 22 years. You get four five "where were you" moments in a lifetime. If you grew up in the 80s as I did, you should be pretty familiar with them now. Where were you when the Challenger blew up? Where were you when someone tried to assasinate Reagan? Where were you when Michael Jackson's Thriller video premiered? And of course: Where were you when you heard that Len Bias died two days after being drafted second overall by the Boston Celtics? I was 11. I was a big-time baseball fan, but I was really getting into basketball because the Pistons were emerging and you had the Lakers-Celtics rivalry in full swing. When I heard about Len Bias, I couldn't quite comprehend it. Despite all the things going on in the 80s, thinking back, it was really an innocent time. We were starting to hear about AIDS and crack, but we didn't know what any of these things meant. Hell, it never even crosse my mind that George Michael was gay. An athlete dying of a drug overdose sounded absolutely improbable. Weinreb's carefully weaves together that 80s innocence, how little we knew about athletes and drugs, and also how Bias' death led to an unfair drug law that probably has stolen a generation of young, black men. (I'm talking about the mandatory minimum sentences given for crack cocaine versus sentences given for possessing it in a powder form) As I got older and was able to fully comprehend the Bias case, I always felt one thing to be true: There was no way that was the first time he tried cocaine. Bias' associates testified in court after his death that he had done cocaine before. You can decide whether to believe them or not, obviously. What's apparent is that Bias was leading a double life. He was a fantastic basketball player. But, he was not a good student. He wanted to be a role model, yet he rolled with people who dabbled in the drug game and he was extremely attracted to the baller's lifestyle. If we were looking at Bias' case under today's unflinching lens, we would very easily come to the conclusion that Len Bias was a very talented basketball player .... and a drug user. A few months ago, some colleagues of mine were arguing about whether Bias could have been better than Jordan if he lived. My answer is no. It has nothing to do with basketball, but everything to do with the fact that I'm not convinced that had he lived, he would have made the appropriate choices. If one of his best friends was a major cocaine dealer in D.C, I can only imagine how that relationship might have played out when Bias started making millions. If he already was doing cocaine, what kind of habit might he developed with more access and means? It's a scary thought. I'm in no way trying to be cruel because my heart does go out to the Bias family. But in a way, it's hard not to see his death as anything but inevitable.

Jun 29th, 2008

189

Need Your Help

OK, people, I need your brains for a second. I'm registering for my fantasy football league and I need to pick a name. I'm in two leagues this year and in one of them, my team's name is Skip Bayless' Hair. I'm drawing a blank as to what I should name my other team. Any suggestions? No swear words, please. Bad Newz Kennel has been suggested to me a few times, but I'm passing on that because I know several people who named their fantasy team that.

Jun 29th, 2008

188

Hate On Me, Get Rich To This

I should have known today would be crazy because while on my way to the car dealership Saturday morning, I listened to Jill Scott's Hate On Me about four or five times. It's just so appropriate: In reality, I'm gon' be who I be And I don't feel no faults For all the lies that you bought You can try as you may Break me down but I say That it ain't up to you Gone and do what you do (Chorus) Hate on me, hater Now or later 'Cuz I'm gonna do me You'll be mad, baby (Go 'head and hate) Go 'head and hate on me, hate on 'Cuz I'm not afraid of it What I got I paid for You can hate on me Today I had a conversation with someone I probably won't ever speak to again. It's the first time in my life I've ever thought or said that about another person. This probably won't make any sense, but it was both refreshing and disheartening. It was disheartening because most of us never want to see the ugly side of people. Even those of us who are the most cynical want to believe there's something good about everyone. We want to have faith in people. Anyway, I really saw someone's ugly side today, but in a way, it was refreshing. I've always liked knowing where I stand. Why draw it out? Why pretend? Let's just cut the bullshit and get it on the table. You think little of me? OK, well, I can move on and focus my energy elsewhere. I never have and never will convince someone else how they should feel about me. I'm sure this seems like rambling, but I'm feeling raw because it never feels good to know that someone you thought was a friend, isn't. That they secretly were harboring ill will, and instead of being an adult and confronting the issue, they let it fester....and fester...and fester...until there was no turning back. And sometimes, you just get caught up in someone else's frustrations. If I didn't get a job, I didn't blame the person who got it. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe I just wasn't good enough. Maybe the timing wasn't right. I've always believed that sometimes the best jobs are the ones you don't get, because it allows your path to travel to its destined place. I've never been the type to blame someone else if they got something I wanted. I always cheer for people. I want everybody to make it because I do feel like it's enough out here for all of us. As I was telling my boy, K-Reed, last night...let's get rich to this. I mean that. One thing I promised myself a long time ago is that I would never be arrogant about my gift. There have been times I've taken it for granted, but I've never been arrogant about it. I've never thought only I can do this, only I should have this platform, only I should have this position...I would be better than so-and-so. That ain't me. Never will be. Anyway, I ran into someone who is all of those things -- gifted, arrogant, angry and jealous. You know what? I pray for their success. I really and truly do.

Jun 28th, 2008

187

NBA Draft Thoughts

Draft day isn't complete until you read the Sports Guy's running draft diary. My favorite part: "6:58: Wendi Nix interviews Mike D'Antoni, who's wearing a bright orange shirt and one of those "Come on, you can't blame me, they offered a crapload of money" looks on his face. This seems like a good time to mention, during the week in New Orleans leading up to Super Bowl XXXVI, my buddy J-Bug hit on her at Pat O'Brien's and she threw his game like a young Dikembe Mutombo. I think she even gave him the finger wag afterward. I've been meaning to put this in a column for six years. There you go." Now, my draft thoughts... Beasley or Rose: I've been solidly saying Chicago should pick Rose for a couple weeks, but now I'm not sure. My biggest issue with Beasley is that he reminded me of Glenn Robinson, and not in a good way. But after getting into a discussion about it at the bar last night, I thought: What's wrong with drafting a guy who'll give you 20 and 10 every night? The thing about Rose is that I have no clue how he's going to do in the NBA. He's got amazing speed, but he's turnover-prone, doesn't always makes great decisions and doesn't have a jump shot. Those aren't exactly elements of success for a PG in the NBA. People have been comparing Rose to Chris Paul and Deron Williams -- in terms of being a team-altering PG -- but from what I can remember neither Paul Williams had the same negatives as Rose. This is my long way of saying I flip-flopped, Chicago should have taken Beasley and gone with consistency. - Someone help me understand why on Earth Memphis traded for the rights to O.J. Mayo? Don't they already have four or five guards on the roster, including first-round pick Mike Conley. I thought they needed a big man to replace Gasol, which is why it made all the sense in the world to draft Kevin Love. This, like their entire franchise, just doesn't make sense. - And speaking of the Love, I'm predicting he'll be one of the stars of this draft. I love his range, his rebounding and his size. Sure, he's one of those guys who is two or three rib snacks away from becoming Oliver Miller, but I see this guy transforming his body the way Udonis Haslem did. Love's toughness is dynamic and let's not forget he's the king of the outlet pass. - I love Russell Westbrook...but not as the fourth overall pick. Westbrook is this year's Marvin Williams or Corey Maggette or Corey Brewer. He's the slasher everybody fell in love with, who did the smart thing and didn't show too many weaknesses in college. Therefore making him so intriguing that you just knew someone was going to bite and jump for him early. - I'm not sold on Eric Gordon. Can he play the point guard in the NBA? - Mary my words: Roy Hibbert will make an immediate impact. Although I'm not sure why Toronto gave him up. They would have been huge up front with him, Bosh and Andrea Bargnani (sp?) - My boy from Cleveland was livid about his Cavs picking J.J. Hickson at 17. So what if he can't shoot and NBADraft.net says "his defensive game has shown minimal growth." I'm sure Danny Ferry knows what he's doing. - I've never heard of George Hill, but I'm going to assume just because the Spurs picked him that he'll be an all-star in three years. And speaking of the Spurs...everybody has been ripping on foreign players because the Lakers' foreign contingent was such a no-show. Well, the Spurs don't seem to have that problem. Maybe it's not the nationality. Maybe it's coaching? - So who wins rookie of the year?: I'm going with Beasley. He's the one guy in this draft that I know for sure will put up numbers. Miami has a primary scorer in D Wade, so it's not like Beasley has to carry a team like Kevin Durant did. Beasley won't be double teamed and he'll get to feed off everyone else. He's going to get easier shots than he did in college.

Jun 27th, 2008

186

Beware of Imposters

I fully intended to go heavy on the NBA draft. I will. Soon. But I'm a little disheartened right now. I alluded to this on my blog about my suspension, but when you're going through something, you really find out who your friends are. That's just a life rule. I don't want to get into too many details, but in the last week or so I've found that some people aren't who I thought they were. A friend once told me, "everyone who says their in your corner, isn't." It works both ways, I guess. I had a few people I thought were friends turn out to be the opposite. But there also have been a few people who extended themselves as a listening ear, even though we've had issues in the past. That's so grown to me.

Jun 27th, 2008

185

The NBA Draft

So who ya got going No. 1 tonight? Michael Beasley or Derrick Rose? I'm fairly certain it will be Rose. The Bulls don't need Beasley. They already have a glut of 3's and 4's. They bring in Rose at the point and the Bulls can play an up-tempo style that's more suited to their talent. The shocker will be when Miami doesn't take Beasley no. 2, and opts for O.J. Mayo. The Heat need a point guard. God bless D Wade, but he's not a smooth ball-handler. He's consistently in the upper echelon in the league in turnover and while his assist numbers look decent, they're somewhat misleading. Here's the thing about Beasley: Maybe it's just me, but he reminds me too much of Glenn Robinson. And, not in a good way. A lot of guys would kill for Robinson's career numbers. He averaged 20 and 6 over 10 years. He was a walking double-double. But he was just a numbers machine. He had no real impact on any team he ever played. As I said, he was just a guy who got numbers. I see Beasley the same way. Very talented. But I don't see that winning gene. Which leads me to Rose and the NBA draft overall... Maybe I'm just missing something, but I just don't see a transcendent player in this draft -- a Chris Paul, LeBron, or D Wade. It's a deep draft, but I'm just don't see That Guy. As much as I like Rose, I still have questions. I don't know what kind of leader he is. His speed is amazing. His jump shot, not-so much. But I look at him and think...can this guy transform a team? What guys in the draft can?

Jun 26th, 2008

184

Were Man Laws Broken?

I've got enough men friends to recognize and understand the Man Laws. They are logically illogical, to say the least. OK, so when Kobe told the Colorado police that he should paid off the woman who accused him of rape because Shaq does it, it was universally agreed that Kobe committed a serious Man Law violation. But now that Shaq has fired back with the diss rap, I'm wondering is that also a Man Law violation? I'm told by other men that it's never cool to engage in a "catfight" with another man. It's not like Kobe and Shaq are going to start squaring up. So all the two of them are going to do is blow hot air. And it can't be overlooked that Shaq rapped: "I'm a horse. Kobe ratted me out. That's why I'm getting divorced." Even though it's freestyle, is that also a Man Law violation? Blaming another man for your divorce? Especially when there are numerous rumors and reports that the Big Diss wasn't exactly faithful pre-and-post Kobe's snitching? Did Shaq lose a few man points here?

Jun 25th, 2008

183

Best Battle Raps Ever

Ok, since the Shaq diss rap is fast approaching legendary, it got me to thinking about other great diss records we've heard. My top-5: 5. Ice Cube's "No Vaseline," which was directed at his former group, N.W.A. We've seen a few hip-hop beefs that are more about publicity than real tension. That was not the case with Cube and N.W.A. They really hated each other. The first time I heard this song, I remember thinking, 'it will be a miracle if this doesn't end in gun play.' 4. Jay-Z's "Takeover." He's probably one of two of three rappers who would ever dare and challenge the lyrically-gifted Nas, much less succeed. Jay did it eloquently and ruthlessly. 3. Nas' "Ether." And, vice versa. Challenging Jay Z would be career suicide for others. But Nas is one of the greatest ever. He called Jay-Z, Gay-Z (not that there's anything wrong with that) and renamed Jay's record company from Roc-A-Fella records to ... uh nevermind. My other favorite line: "Were you abused as a child, scared to smile, they called you ugly?" 2. Kool Moe Dee's "Death Blow." This is strictly an old-head pick. For those of us who came of age with hip-hop in the 80s, the Kool Moe Dee-LL Cool J feud was like Ali-Frazier. Easiest way to start an argument among some knowledgeable hip-hop heads is to ask them who they thought emerged as the winner of this beef. It pains me, but I still give KMD the nod strictly because he spit this in Death Blow: "You still got a lock on my jock like a pitbull." In the 80s, that was verrrrrry edgy. 1. Tupac's "Hit Em Up." This is still the most vicious rhyme I've ever heard. This is one of those songs you walk away from and you just feel like you just witnessed a horrific 5-on-1 beatdown. Pac' came blazing from the second the song began. He started with "that's why I f**cked yo' b**tch you fat mutha%!@@!." What followed was just pure degradation. Anyway, did I forget any? EDIT: Something to keep in mind as many of you continue you write in your picks of best battle raps or diss records: An important factor in your picks is whether or not the two rappers were considered equals. To me, a Nas-Jay-Z should rank higher than a Eminem-Everlast beef. Everlast had no juice. In other words, I'm much more intrigued with Georgetown-North Carolina than, say, Holy Cross v. Duke. Eminem is supposed to whip Everlast. Tupac and Big were on the same level, as were Kool Moe Dee and LL and Cube and N.W.A. If a big-time rapper annihilates a relative nobody (see: Canibus), I'm just not as impressed. Carry on.

Jun 24th, 2008

182

Kobe, Tell Me How My Ass Taste?

Frequent poster Billmac stole my thunder on this, but there was no way I was going to let the day pass without blogging about Shaq's freestyle rip-rap on Kobe. Sigh, where to begin. First, I have to give Shaq a little credit. He's probably the best athlete-rapper ever. Now, I realize that's not saying much when other notable athlete-rappers are Allen Iverson, Ron Artest, and even Kobe. What, you didn't know Kobe could spit? I'm torn about whether this rap was in or out of bounds? I won't lie...the hook of "Kobe, Tell Me How My Ass Taste" is pretty catchy. It's not quite Tupac's "Hit 'Em Up," but it passes the test. I'm familiar with Shaq's work as a Fu-Schnicken, but I must say the freestyle isn't bad. On an entertainment scale I mark this about an 8. You also have to deduct points from Shaq because how could he rap that long and not bring up the $4 million ring. C'mon Shaq! But you can't ignore the classlessness of it. I thought he and Kobe buried the hatchet? And obviously Shaq didn't learn from AI, who went through a lot of drama with his rap album. Shaq isn't dropping slurs like Bubba Chuck, but it's difficult for most people to separate Shaq the Rapper doing things in the mode of entertainment, and Shaq the declining NBA'er. I'm going to bet that David Stern wouldn't be particularly pleased. But hey, I can't think of another person in sports that could get away with this. So does this deserve a thumbs up or thumbs down? I'm also proposing that once a year, maybe after the Finals, there should be a rap battle scene like in 8 Mile. Kobe v. Shaq. AI v. Artest. Chad Johnson v. T.O. This would do well on ESPN.

Jun 23rd, 2008

181

My Return To ESPN

I said last week that at a later time I'd have more to say about my suspension from ESPN. Since I officially returned today, now is that time. I thought it was important to write a column that again expressed my remorse and regret. I didn't write the column because I was told to do it. I did it because it was the right thing to do. I deserve no extra points for that, nor am I looking for any. I also did an interview with AOL that I hope continues to express that sentiment. EDIT: I removed the last link to Imus because I don't want my actions to be misinterpreted. I'm not bitter. I'm not defensive. I'm not angry. Have I been frustrated? Sure. I'm human. It's natural to want to defend yourself, particuarly when you feel like you're being misjudged. But as I said in the AOL interview, the Imus comparison is a distraction. If you feel that comparison is accurate, so be it. You are entitled to your opinion. End of game.

Jun 23rd, 2008

180

Quick Rant On The Wire

So I'm flipping through the NAACP's Crisis magazine Wednesday morning and I came across a ballot for the 39th annual NAACP Image Awards. The awards usually cover African Americans in film, television and writing. Most of it was pretty standard, but something incredible jumped out at me when I perused the drama categories. Absolutely no mention of The Wire. The nominees for Outstanding Drama Series were Grey's Anatomy, House, K-Ville, Lincoln Heights and The Unit. Seriously. Since the whole point of the Image Awards is to recognize the achievements of black folks, how in the hell could they leave out the most significant dramatic TV series for African Americans in the history of television? K-Ville over The Wire? Are you kidding me? Mainstream award shows like The Emmys have long been accused of ignoring The Wire. Some say The Wire's subject material is just too raw, real and gritty, and the focus of the show is an underbelly we try our best to ignore. Some have theorized it's because The Wire has a primarily African-American cast, which typically goes unnoticed by Hollywood. Whatever the case, it is just baffling that The Wire wouldn't receive a single nomination for an Image Award. Jennifer Beals and Pam Grier were nominated for the "L Word." Taye Diggs received a nomination for "Private Practice" and that show lasted a cup of coffee. Criminal.

Jun 18th, 2008

178

The Bizarre Case Of Javon Walker

With the Finals going on, this Javon Walker situation has really flown under the radar. Strange is about the best way to describe it. The initial reports were that Walker's champagne-spraying in various Las Vegas clubs may have had something to do with him being beaten up and robbed. His attackers allegedly stole $100K in jewelry and $3K in cash. The latest news is Walker telling a website he was abducted by three men, who knocked on his hotel door at 5:30 a.m. If what Walker says is true, this suggests a setup of some kind. Someone could have been scoping him out, especially if he was rollin' around Vegas that hard. Now, I do wonder why he would open his hotel door at 5:30 a.m. without either a) looking through the peephole or b) asking who it was. It's safe to say people are looking at Walker more skeptically because of his involvement in the Darrent Williams situation. It gives the appearance of having a track record or attracting trouble, and I'm not sure if that's fair. I'd like to think something as trivial as champagne-spraying wouldn't be the root of this, but you never know. When it comes to hanging out, black athletes need to understand they are under a different set of rules. Statistics say the No. 1 cause of death for black men aged 17-to-25 -- athlete or not -- is murder. That means drawing as little attention to yourself as possible is the best idea.

Jun 18th, 2008

177

Game 6: I Concede...Sort Of

Not much to say about that Boston-L.A. game. Rivalry renewed? Yeah, I'm not too sure about that one. I said after the Lakers went down 0-2 that Kobe Bryant had the most to lose in this series and judging from how people have criticized him, I'd say I was right. Even if Kobe and the Lakers won a title next year, this Finals loss will stick. I know that the Lakers were whipped pretty soundly, but it looked like Kobe gave up and the entire team quit after a certain point. To get beat that badly in a closeout game -- I don't care if you're in Boston or not -- is inexcusable. While I agree that Kobe's legacy still hasn't been completed, I concede ... for the next year. No more Kobe-MJ comparisons, defenses, etc. Not for one full year. No matter how you might bait me into the argument. I don't care. I'm not falling for it.

Jun 18th, 2008

176

My Suspension

As some of you might have heard, I've got a little free time on my hands. Times like these, you know who has your back and who doesn't. I'm extremely grateful that I have a strong support network. I've gotten some great e-mails from people I really respect. Everything else concerning this matter will be addressed at a later time. But just a couple things I'd like to point out before moving on to that Game 6 atrocity (for the Lakers): 1. It's H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E. If you're going to call me that, just wanted to make sure you have the correct spelling. 2. If you're going to call me a racist and you want your point to stick, it kinda levels the argument when you follow it up by calling me the n-word. Just a little bit. EDIT: As I said above, I have more to say on this issue. That will come later. In case you don't click on the link, here's my apology, which I wrote and was released through ESPN: “I deeply regret the statement I made in a column Saturday. In expressing my passion for the NBA and my hometown of Detroit I showed very poor judgment in the words that I used. I pride myself on an understanding of, and appreciation for, diversity - and there is no excuse for the appalling lack of sensitivity in my comments. It in no way reflects the person I am. I apologize to all of my readers and I thank them for holding me accountable. This has been an important lesson for me and illustrates that, like many people, I still have a lot of growing and learning to do.”

Jun 18th, 2008

175

Since We're Still Arguing About MJ

I was at dinner in L.A with some friends, and a friend of friend made an OUTRAGEOUS statement. He said that Lamar Odom was better than Scottie Pippen. You've got to admit that's even crazier than my Kobe v. MJ argument! Anyway, this guy insisted that this year's Lakers team was stronger than the teams MJ played with during his championship run. I STRONGLY disagree, but maybe I'm wrong. So let's compare the rosters of the two squads and see which player you'd rather have. I'm not sure if it's fair or not, but I'm using the 95-96 Bulls, Jordan's strongest team. And Kobe and MJ aren't apart of this debate. Ron Harper OR Derek Fisher Scottie Pippen OR Vladmir Radmonivich. Dennis Rodman OR Lamar Odom Luc Longley OR Pau Gasol Steve Kerr OR Sasha Vujacic/Jordan Farmar Toni Kukoc OR Luke Walton Bill Wennington OR Rony Turiaf Couple things to keep in mind: - During the '95-96 season, Kukoc won 6th Man Of The Year - Rodman was first-team, all-NBA defense, and he led the league in rebounds. - Pippen also was a first-teamer on defense. So, which team was better?

Jun 16th, 2008

174

Putting Tiger In Perspective

This is a carryover conversation from a couple blogs ago. I'm not the biggest golf fan. Like a lot of other casual viewers, I watch the sport because of Tiger. When he's not playing, I'm not interested. I admire greatness, which draws me to Tiger even though I'd hardly consider him my favorite athlete. I hope I'm not using hyperbole here...but his round Saturday may have been the greatest performance I've seen by a professional athlete. I know, that's a pretty loaded statement. The only thing that comes close in my mind is Jordan's flu game against the Jazz, Carl Lewis at the Olympics, and...well, nothing else is jumping into my mind. On a bum knee, Tiger made a ridiculous charge. Over the last two days, he's made three or four shots that I thought were just impossible. One of you guys brought up in a comment, but I am now beginning to think that Tiger is the most dominant athlete of my lifetime, not Michael Jordan. Tiger is dominating a game that many believed was impenetrable to dominance. Every time you watch Tiger he does something you haven't seen before. For him to play with his knee in that condition is just unreal. It begs the question...is Tiger the best/greatest athlete of our generation?

Jun 16th, 2008

173

A Tribute To R Kelly

Damn I miss Dave Chappelle. How about we start a fund so Dave can do a one-hour special with skits strictly on R Kelly and Michael Vick?

Jun 14th, 2008

172

For Those Who Forgot MJ Lost Too

Great evidence for those who continue to forget that Jordan lost games. Yes, even in the Finals. And even when he had double-digit leads. Hmmm. EDIT: By the way, I'm not CRAZY. I completely believe MJ would never have lost a 24-point lead in a Finals game. But I do think it's unfair to see Kobe as a failure if he can't live up to (numbers-wise) one of the most ridiculous legacies in sports. Kobe can't win for losing. The championship rings are considered Shaq's rings, and the Finals losses are Kobe's? How did that happen? Anyway, speaking of great players... I don't know about some of you, but after Saturday, I'm getting on the bandwagon that Tiger Woods may be the most dominant athlete I've ever seen. His U.S. Open performance on Saturday ranked right up there -- if not surpasses -- Jordan's flu game.

Jun 14th, 2008

171

Friday The 13th For Real: Tim Russert And R Kelly

I did the dumbest thing in the world and left my cellphone charger at the Staples Center last night. For me, this was really disappointing because I just bought this charger three or four days ago. So I was headed back to Radio Shack to buy another. As I'm preparing to leave, the news comes across CNN crawl: R Kelly not guilty of 14 counts of basically being foul. I go Radio Shack, get my new charger, and Tim Russert of Meet The Press is dead. Talk about the cycle of life. The R Kelly verdict wasn't unexpected, but there is something comical about that entire situation. First, who hasn't seen the R Kelly sex tape? I did. I realize I haven't seen R Kelly naked, but I'm pretty sure it was him. Yet, this fool was able to get off using the "wadn't me" defense. RK's lawyers said it wasn't him. The underage girl in the video said it wasn't her. Not guilty. Seriously, is that all it takes to get a not guilty verdict? I'm no Johnny Cochran, but I feel like telling a judge and jury "wadn't me" is something I could have learned from Jackie Chiles. I could have gotten "wadn't me" from Jack McCoy. R Kelly paid thousands of dollars for "wadn't me." Anyway, on to something a little more serious -- Tim Russert. Like most people, you can make sense of someone who dies after they've been ailing for some time. But when it's sudden, quick and totally unexpected, it just strikes you differently. In case you haven't heard, Tim Russert, the host of Meet The Press, died suddenly of a heart attack today. I'm watching CNN right now and they're going full coverage with this. It was heartbreaking to see Tom Brokaw give an on-air eulogy, since Brokaw and Russert were boys. Anyway, what a bizarre Friday.

Jun 13th, 2008

170

Is This Acceptable?

I have a question for the gallery, and it's sort of related to Lakers-Celtics. I suspect my good friend Eric, who writes for ESPN The Magazine, is secretly rooting for the Celtics to win. To give you a little background, Eric is from metro Detroit. He's a huge slappy for all things Michigan. I'm of the opinion that if you're from Michigan, there is no way you can be completely comfortable with the idea of the Celtics winning a NBA title. Longtime Pistons fans understand this. If you watched Piston basketball during the 80s and were apart of the heated Pistons-C's rivalry, you understand that rooting for the Celtics is like rooting for everything souless, evil and wrong. Rooting for the Celtics is like rooting for the guy that's caught on To Catch A Predator to get away with it. It doesn't matter that KG, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce are three of the most likable players in the NBA. You must hate the Celtics. That's just a rule. As my man Khalid from Slam magazine says: Yo, that shit matters. Anyway, Eric has this completely unacceptable position about rooting for other teams. He's a huge University of Michigan guy. But he actually rooted for Ohio State when they went to the national title games because in his hierarchy, once your team loses, you immediately pull for the conference. I find this deplorable. I went to Michigan State and yes, I stick up for the Big Ten. But if Michigan is in the national title game, I'm not rooting for them. If anything, it would just highlight what a sham of football program my school has. So I think Eric is rooting for the Celtics out of loyalty to the Eastern Conference and if that's true, that's just wrong. If you're a Florida fan and Georgia makes it to the NC game, you don't root for Georgia! You don't root for Florida State or Miami because they're representing the state. If you're Alabama and Auburn is playing for the NC, you don't root for Auburn! I'd like to think that when the Pistons played the Lakers in '04, I would hope that Celtics fans weren't rooting for Detroit. That's just sickening. As sports fans, there are some things you've got to keep sacred. I'm a huge Tigers fans. I'm not rooting for the Indians, or the White Sox, or anyone else in the Central division. They're dead to me. Maybe I'm just not that enlightened. I welcome you to change my mind.

Jun 13th, 2008

169

Dear L.A: The Party's Ovah

Well, those NBA Finals sure were fun, weren't they? Good night, L.A., make sure to turn out the lights when you leave. The Lakers laid a gigantic egg at Staples, losing a 22-point lead and giving the Celtics full command of the series. If you would have told me the Celtics would barely play Rondo and lose Perkins altogether, I would have assumed the Celtics would get blown out. I was wavering on how to feel about the Lakers Game 3 win because there were a lot of bad trends exposed that I felt might haunt the Lakers. It was another game where the Celtics did everything they could to lose that game, and they STILL almost won. And how about Sasha Vujacic getting completely faced by Ray Allen to seal the game? That wasn't Ray Allen with UConn speed out there. That was multiple-ankle-problem Ray Allen out there. Pau Ga-soft, who I assume was supposed to help, was somewhere in the stands getting a beer. Unacceptable. I knew that if the Celtics were going to take a game in L.A., it would have to be tonight. The players have two days off before wrapping up this leg on Sunday. If they didn't win tonight, Paul Pierce was going have Friday and Saturday to frolic in his hometown. I would have never given the Celtics a chance of clinching the series on the Lakers home floor, but now I'm not so sure. This was a depressing loss for the Lakers. Everybody knows that going down 3-1 means you better start making vacation plans. Also, James Posey was huge. This is why you have a guy like that on your bench, a guy that has a ring because he can make clutch shots. He's a poor man Robert Horry.

Jun 13th, 2008

168

Give Lamar Odom Some Credit

I wasn't sure Odom had it in him, but he came to play tonight. He's got 15 points after two quarters. He really got going with a dunk in the first quarter and suddenly, he's playing like a bright, fundamental basketball player. I know the Celtics were down by as much as 22, but I don't think they're out of it. Boston has been getting some quality shots. They just haven't gone down. And for the love of all that is sacred and holy, why can't Kevin Garnett stick around the basket? Say what you will about Pau Gasol...he may be softer than a goose-down pillow, but he doesn't veer far from the hoop. Final thought: It's a bad sign for the Celtics that the Lakers established a 20-some point lead and Kobe has three points and three fouls.

Jun 12th, 2008

167

Best Subway Ever

I promise the next blog will be off Game 4 of Lakers-Celtics, but I had just had to tell the world I went to the best Subway in America today. The NBA Finals media hotel is conveniently located right next door to a 24-hour Subway. There was major discussion among the reporters covering the finals whether an all-night Subway was a good idea. Think about it: When you're ridiculously drunk, do you really crave Subway? No. You crave grease. You want hot food. You want Taco Bell, wings, or a greasy burger. I mean, do you really want a tuna sub? A cold cut combo? I just don't think so. Tell me if I'm wrong. Anyway, I went into the 24-hour Subway and my buddy Lang Whitaker from Slam magazine was right: It was the best Subway ever. Usually when you go to Subway, you see, what..1..2..maybe 3 sandwich artists? Three is the max I've ever seen. This place -- no lie -- had six. It was one person for every three our four condiments. That's an astounding ratio. This Subway line was on par with an auto line. I think if I would have plopped down the parts to a Jetta the Subway guys would have been able to handle it. Even better than their efficiency was the fact that they have about six or seven different footlongs you can get for $5. Is this happening everywhere or is it just this particular Subway? Considering what it cost to fill up your car every month is equal to a small mortgage, it's nice to know the folks at Subway care enough to make footlongs that cheap. All of a sudden I feel like Happy Gilmore. But that footlong tuna with green peppers and olives hit the spot.

Jun 12th, 2008

166

Something To Watch Before The Finals

I know you all are just killing time until Game 4 begins tonight. So to get yourself in a festive Finals move, watch this. Might be the funniest video I've seen this year.

Jun 12th, 2008

165

More On The Fishy NBA Officiating

This story was just brought to my attention and it's going to make NBA conspiracy theorists froth at the mouth. According to the New York Daily News, Tim Donaghy told the feds two refs fixed the outcome of a playoff series and they were told not to eject a star because it might hurt ticket sales and TV ratings. Raise your hand if you're not surprised. Yeah, me neither. Before I go any further, I've got to give my boyfriend credit. We had a spirited debate yesterday about whether the NBA was fixed. In the interest of full disclosure, he likes the Lakers and Kobe. But he was adamant that David Stern was somehow going to find a way to extend this series to seven games. I told him he was nuts. While I certainly believe officials have personal grudges against players and coaches, and that also impacts how they call a game, I just can't see Stern puppeteering some league-wide conspiracy. But, as the BF pointed out, Michael Corleone was the mastermind behind a lot of murders and illegal behavior, but on one could ever prove it. Touche. Anyway, these two refs supposedly conspired to extend a 2002 NBA playoff series to seven games. Which one do you think it was? Already, a few of my colleagues have begun theorizing about which series was possibly fixed. So far, we've come up with a doozy: Sacramento v. Los Angeles, Game 6. Lakers went to the free-throw line 40 times in that game, including 20-some times in the fourth. So to those Laker fans who are still bitching about the officiating...you now have reason to be quiet.

Jun 10th, 2008

164

Curt Schilling Talking Ish About Kobe?

From Curt Schilling's blog: "...Who doesn’t know Kobe Bryant right? I only know what I have heard, starting awhile back with the entire Shaq debacle. I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other on or about him other than to know that people feel he might be one of the 4-5 greatest players to ever lace it up. What I do know is what I got to see up close and hear, was unexpected. From the first tip until about 4 minutes left in the game I saw and heard this guy bitch at his teammates. Every TO he came to the bench pissed, and a few of them he went to other guys and yelled about something they weren’t doing, or something they did wrong. No dialog about “hey let’s go, let’s get after it” or whatever. He spent the better part of 3.5 quarters pissed off and ranting at the non-execution or lack of, of his team. Then when they made what almost was a historic run in the 4th, during a TO, he got down on the floor and basically said ‘Let’s f’ing go, right now, right here” or something to that affect. I am not making this observation in a good or bad way, I have no idea how the guys in the NBA play or do things like this, but I thought it was a fascinating bit of insight for me to watch someone in another sport who is in the position of a team leader and how he interacted with his team and teammates. Watching the other 11 guys, every time out it was high fives and “Hey nice work, let’s get after it” or something to that affect. He walked off the floor, obligatory skin contact on the high five, and sat on the bench stone faced or pissed off, the whole game. Just weird to see another sport and how it all works. I would assume that’s his style and how he plays and what works for him because when I saw the leader board for scoring in the post season his name sat up top at 31+ a game, can’t argue with that. But as a fan I was watching the whole thing, Kobe, his teammates and then the after effects of conversations. He’d yell at someone, make a point, or send a message, turn and walk away, and more than once the person on the other end would roll eyes or give a ‘whatever dude’ look..." Obviously, Schilling was talking about Kobe Bean. But upon reading this, it reminded me once again how much revisionist history we have about Michael Jordan. Yes, I somehow find a way to bring MJ into the specter of nearly every Kobe conversation. People forget what a jerk MJ could be to his teammates -- in the lockeroom, on the bench and in practice. Read Sam Smith's Jordan Rules, where he talks about how relentless Jordan was on his teammates. Part of the reason Jordan's teammates started to excel is because they were scared of him. Kobe has a similar personality, and while I'm not saying that's always an effective leadership tool, it's unfair to castigate Kobe for the same thing when MJ is lionized for the same behavior. One of my biggest pet peeves is that the NBA and its players have developed into a gentlemen's league -- and I mean that in a bad way. A lot of airtime has been spent hyping the renewed rivalrly of Lakers vs. C's. This is a rivalry? Are you kidding me? This is Care Bears vs. Rainbow Brite. How can any rivalry develop in the NBA when you get thrown out of the game for a legitimate playoff foul? Teams don't get a chance to hate one another because the league has tried to eliminate any and all contentiousness between players. And consequently, when it comes to inner-team relations, we've taken an equally soft view. Schilling has been an elite-level pitcher for a long time, and given how he runs his mouth, you can't tell me that when his teammates screw up or aren't performing well, he simply says, "let's get 'em" or "let's go." Of course, because the C's are winning, it's easy for them to be positive. Given KG's intensity, my guess is it's a different story when they're catching a few jabs from the other team. Unkind words sometimes need to be said, especially when you're getting your ass beat on the biggest stage in the NBA. Kobe's teammates didn't deserve to be coddled. They played soft. That they blew off Kobe says more about them, than Kobe. I'm just surprised another professional athlete didn't seem to get that.

Jun 9th, 2008

163

Game 2: Final thoughts

"Leon Powe had more free-throw attempts than our entire team. That's ridiculous." - Phillip Jackson, 6/09/2008 Well said, Phil. I expect that everyone will be talking about the officiating, but I can think of 30 things the Lakers didn't do well that led to an outcome they rightly deserved. They made Leon Powe look like Dr. J. Here's another team that can't keep Kendrick Perkins off the glass. Lakers turned the ball over almost 20 times. No answer for Paul Pierce. Lamar Odom is giving them nothing on both ends. Awful floor spacing. Wasted Gasol's quick start. Once they got down by double digits, he became a non-factor in the offense. Were the officials good? No. They missed a lot of calls, and compounded their errors with ticky-tack officiating. On one play, Jordan Farmar was gliding to the hoop and Rajon Rondo clearly held Farmar's arm and there was nothing. Kobe probably deserved about 7-10 extra trips to the free-throw line. But blaming officiating would be a copout. The Lakers did a lot of things wrong and they flat-out deserved this loss. I doubt they recover.

Jun 9th, 2008

162

Game 2: What's Wrong With The Lakers?

Lakers are down by 22 and I have to say, I am STUNNED. I thought the Lakers would win tonight, and unless something miraculous happens, they're going back to Los Angeles down 0-2. A few thoughts: - Against Detroit, it was Kendrick Perkins. Tonight, it's Leon Powe. Powe is out there going to work on the Lakers. And speaking of Powe and Perkins, how come the Lakers can't box out either one of those guys? They're cleaning up on the glass and out-hustling L.A. on everything. - I'm convinced Lamar Odom can't play a game without getting an offensive foul. He is totally non-existent. - We may see selfish Kobe in Game 3. Given the first two games, I wouldn't blame him if he went back to not trusting his teammates. The Lakers bench has been a non-factor. They've been unable to give any energy. They are being out-hustled. - The officiating has been bad tonight. Too many silly, ticky-tack fouls. It's killed the flow and momentum in this game. - Why didn't Luke Walton play the first half? - Vladmir Radmonavich (sp?) is single-handedly responsible for the Lakers falling behind by double-digits. He went through a stretch in the third where he forget he wasn't that good. More to come when the game is over.

Jun 8th, 2008

161

Only In L.A: A Day At The Beach

I'm entering my second week of my stay in Los Angeles. The first week I was here for Jim Rome Is Burning and this week I'll be here for the NBA Finals. Anyway, I went to Venice Beach for the first time on Saturday. Some L.A. musings: - What's more disturbing?: A homeless man with a six-pack -- as in abs. Or, a homeless man with a haircut. I vote the latter. A homeless man with a washboard stomach isn't that crazy, especially if he lives in L.A. at the beach. But if you have a haircut, that indicates you could perhaps be faking your situation. Abs are free. Haircuts are not. - Every ethnicity has a distinct, cultural identity, specific things that are associated with that race. I often wonder...is it a stereotype if it's true? It doesn't mean every person in that race identifies with that particular identity or trait, but if enough of them do, is it wrong to make an observation about it? This is my way of setting you up for something I've noticed while in Los Angeles. Let's just say the enterpreneurial spirit is very prevalent in the Latino community in L.A. Put more succintly: Latinos are on their hustle. Being from Detroit, a city that is predominately African-American city, I'm used to seeing black folks engage in such hustling. Anyway, at the beach, Latino women were peddling fruit and what appeared to be fried corn. In the fashion district in downtown L.A., Latinos run most of the clothing and shoe stores. They hustle the bootleg DVDs. A Latino man tried to sell me a nano iPod for $20 and a $600 digital camera for $120. On Saturday, I saw a Latino man hustling puppies. He walked up and down the basketball court with a puppy in his hand, saying, "I got puppies...I got puppies...puppies here...puppies." Puppies? - Ever notice the racial politics on the basketball court? I spent most of my time at Venice watching pickup hoop games because I heard they were pretty good there. Couldn't help but notice all the white guys playing together, and all the minorities playing together. The white guys playing were definitely good enough to play with the other group and I waited to see if at some point the two groups would play with one another. It didn't happen. I'm convinced that a big reason we don't see more American-born, white basketball players in the NBA is because of the racial politics at the grassroots level. White guys have been duped into thinking they can't play with the brothas. They've been convinced they're not as athletic. That's why it bothers me enormously when I hear someone like Steve Nash -- and I know he's a Canadian -- being given so much credit for being smarter than other players on the court. No question, Nash has a high basketball IQ. But let's not get it twisted, he's also a helluva athlete. He's got incredible speed, lateral quickness and stamina. He's also a ridiculous ball-handler. He succeeds, in part, because he's a better athlete than a lot of players. White basketball players have been conditioned into thinking they can only succeed on the court with their intangibles, and that just isn't true. Rant over. - Went to what they call an "industry party" last night. The cast of the TBS show "My Boys" had a gig to celebrate their season premiere on Thursday. Very cool cast, especially the main character, Jordana Spiro. We talked half the night, and then I went to the bar with a few other cast members after the party. Anyway, I'd like to think I gave Spiro some good insight into what it's like being a female sports writer. I like the show, but I told her they can never have her hook up with an athlete. Unless she wanted a bunch of angry women sports writers e-mailing her and trashing the show.

Jun 8th, 2008

160

Chris Bosh Is Freakin' Funny

Chris Bosh definitely has a future outside of basketball. This is so hilarious. You have to at least watch until the part where Glen "Big Baby" Davis talks about what Sex and The City character he would be.

Jun 6th, 2008

159

Lakers v. Celtics -- Game 1

A few housecleaning items before I give you thoughts on Lakers v Celtics. - Check out an interview I did with Rashad Mobley of the emerging basketball website, Hoops Addict. - And if you want even more of me, check out the NBA Finals online chat I did yesterday along with Chris Sheridan, Marc Stein, and Chad Ford among others. Now on the Game 1 of the Finals... - I'm not surprised at all by the outcome. My prediction was the Lakers lose Game 1, win Game 2. Why? A lot of Lakers, most notably Pau Gasol, have not played in the NBA Finals. This is the biggest stage in the NBA. I expected the Lakers would not shoot well (Kobe was 9-o-f-26), and they would just be out of rhythm as they tried to adjust to the new, more intense platform. Since the Celtics had not played in the Finals in 21 years, it was entirely predictable that they would be fueled considerably by their emotion. They're already a superb defensive team, and nothing ratchets up defensive play like emotion. The "injury timeouts" by Pierce and Kendrick Perkins only intensified an already electric building. The Lakers will be a lot different in Game 2. Kobe knows the Lakers can't go down 0-2, and the biggest way to test Boston is to put the pressure back on them. The Lakers just need to win one in Boston to give themselves the possibility of finishing it in Los Angeles. The Celtics were the best road team in the NBA during the regular season, but the Lakers are tough at home. If L.A. takes Game 2, they will play even more confidently in L.A. because they can make it so the series does not return to Boston. - Paul Pierce. He's been one of my favorite players for years, but I'll admit I was starting to lose faith in Pierce because I just hadn't seen him really take over. He's had some good playoff games, but nothing I would say sticks in the memory. His Game 1 performance will stick. If he performs well in this series, Pierce will again be regularly talked about as an elite player. In many ways, Pierce defies the caricature of today's NBA player. Honestly, it doesn't look as if Pierce works out at all. I'm sure he does, but his body has virtually no definition. He's "country" strong. Looks like he could use a little ProActive, too. He's the perfect definition of "nasty." Speaking of Pierce, can we kill the Willis Reed comparisons? It was Game 1. - I'm not sure if Gasol knows this...but YOU'RE PLAYING IN THE FINALS. 15 and 8 isn't going to cut it in this series. I expected him to be a rag doll on Garnett, but Gasol has to get more aggressive offensively. Doc Rivers put Kendrick Perkins on Gasol for most of the game, which was a solid move. Perkins is physical and Gasol sometimes lives up to the European stereotype of not being able to deal with physical contact. - The final box score says Lamar Odom finished with 14 points and 6 rebounds, but it didn't feel like he had a strong game. He didn't go at Garnett enough. Also, Odom is a triple threat and he had just one assist in 39 minutes. - Celtics bench outscored the Lakers', 17-15. That can't happen. Derek Fisher faced Allen Iverson, Deron Williams and Tony Parker...and yet he somehow managed to give the ancient Sam Cassell some open looks. Tighten it up, D Fish. - All that being said, this game really boiled down to this: The one player who couldn't struggle was Kobe, and he did. He had some great looks. The Celtics tried to push him out, but I don't worry about that as much because Kobe can be a deadly shooter. I expect him to be more aggressive in Game 2, but not to the point where it sacrifices his other teammates. Who you got for Game 2? Did Game 1 change anyone's mind, or did it just solidify the winner?

Jun 6th, 2008

158

The Worst Kid In America

If I would have done this, my mother would have beat the shit out of me. 'Cuse my language, but you can't help but curse after watching the video.

Jun 5th, 2008

157

Obama

I'm a little worn down from all the tourists stuff I did today, but without getting to overly-sentimental, and too "Eyes On The Prize," I hope all of us are able to recognize what a historic day this is. A black man has won the Democratic presidential nomination. For people like my 76-year-old grandmother, this is a day they thought they would never see. It makes me wish my Uncle James, a World War II veteran, were still alive. My grandmother and uncle, along with many older, black people are the ones who used "colored only" drinking fountains, who went through a period of their lives where voting seemed completely unrealistic, who endured a level of racial intolerance that is unfathomable. A black president never seemed out of reach to me, but it did to them. Even if you're not a Democrat and don't plan on voting for Barack Obama, I hope we can all understand what an important day this is in our nation's history.

Jun 4th, 2008

156

Doing The Tourist Thing

Sorry that I haven't been blogging as much as I normally do. It's just that I feel so behind whenever I go out to the West Coast. Because most of business and schedule is adapted to an East Coast schedule, I can't help but feel as if my day is already over when I wake. Let me stop complaining. The great thing about being a reporter is you wind up with friends and associates in a lot of different cities. That means it doesn't take you as long to find that cool-out-of-the-way spot, or figure out where the tourists aren't going. I'm in Los Angeles doing Jim Rome Is Burning and today I did nothing but tourist stuff. I went to Hollywood. Took photos of the Walk of Fame. Saw the handprints. Took a few pictures with the freaky-weird adults who dress up and hustle money by taking photos with tourists. Today, outside of Mann's Chinese Theatre, there was a guy dressed like a centaur, a couple Marilyn Monroes, a Tickle Me Elmo, and some alien dude that kept licking his lips. Very odd. Did the tour of the stars homes, which I must say, was fascinating. Saw Tom Cruise's $30 million house, David Beckman's $30-something million crib, David Spade's house, Courtney Cox and David Arquette's house, where Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe lived, and the hotel where Janis Joplin OD'ed. Most impressive home: Merv Griffith's $80 million house that overlooks all of Hollywood, and Beverly Hills. Cool Fact Of The Day: Griffth wrote the theme to Jeopardy. Guess how much he's made off the song? $80 mil. Unbelievable. That theme song sounds like one of the demo songs they give you when you buy a new keyboard. Most Fascinating Story Of The Day: Brad Pitt dressed up like a chicken at an El Pollo Loco in Hollywood. He was one of those guys who has to stand in front of the establishment and humiliate himself, just to get people to buy more chicken. Anyway, that job gave him the flexibility to do his auditions. He was so grateful that whenever he films something in Hollywood, he always has it catered by El Pollo Loco. A heartwarming tale. Trust me, I've been to plenty of non-tourist places in L.A. The cool places. Been to Koi. Been to The Standard. My new thing is going to tourist places in major cities because I feel as if I'm missing out. Still haven't been to the Empire State Building, or Statue of Liberty. Still haven't been to the Water Tower in Chicago. Anyway, some of you probably think this entire post is corny, but it's not often I get to be corny. Especially in a city like L.A. Oh, if you absolutely, positively, need some sports: Lakers in 6.

Jun 4th, 2008

155

Get Me Into MMA

Raise your hand if you remember boxing matches on Saturdays on ABC? Yep, I do, too. Raise your hand if you got a gigantic thrill out of seeing Mike Tyson pulverize fighters in the time it takes to cook Ramen in the microwave? Yep, me too. So...how come I can't get into Mixed Martial Arts? This has puzzled me for some time, and since MMA is becoming larger and larger -- it debuted on CBS this weekend -- and everybody's Kimbo Slicin', I'm trying to figure out why I just can't get into Ultimate Fighting. I love seeing people knocked out. My favorite genre of movies are action flicks where people get beat up, blown up and maimed. I loved Fight Club. Yet the few times I've tried to watch MMA, I usually find it boring after 30 seconds. Is this my inner chick-ness rising up and taking over? You know, that same thing that renders me stupid every time I have to put anything together, or inexplicably convinces me that it would be a good idea to spend $10 to see Maid Of Honor. I think my brain is subconsciously comparing MMA to pro wrestling, which I gave up when I was 14. Yes, I know the action is real. But unfortunately, the MMA fighters remind me of pro wrestlers -- these contrived personalities that will do and say anything for ratings. Anyway, help me out here. I feel like I'm missing out on something. Give me a good reason to watch MMA.

Jun 1st, 2008

154

And Speaking of Kobe...

I'm not quite sure what to make of this alleged affair Kobe had. But it does further my argument that Jordan benefited greatly from not having to deal with this media age. If this were Jordan and the 1990s, that story MIGHT have been in a tabloid. Most people would never have heard about it. That won't be the case for Kobe if this story has an ounce of truth to it. First, if Kobe really did cheat on his wife with a Lakers cheerleader, he's got very little common sense. Remember the old saying: "you don't sh*t where you eat." Los Angeles is a pretty big city and if he were in the mood to step out on his wife, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it was possible to find a woman who wasn't within the Lakers organization. Although as a male friend once pointed out to me about cheating -- convenience is everything. Two: I don't know about you, but if my cheating had resulted in rape allegation that nearly destroyed my career, I'd probably find some way to stay faithful and control myself. Three: It goes to show why professional athletes should never sell themselves as "family men." When held a press conference to admit he'd cheated on his wife, I thought then that was a bad move. That officially ensured he'd have to live up to a "higher standard" in the eyes of the media concerning his marriage. That made the next time he cheated major news.

May 30th, 2008

153

Validation?

I love Greg Anthony. This morning on First Take he completely sold my Kobe is better than Jordan argument, reiterating many of the points I've made before. So here's a question: Now do you believe me? Are some of you ready to finally admit that Kobe is just as good, if not better than Jordan? If Kobe wins a title this year, you have to put him in Jordan's company. It would be his fourth ring, his first without the man many consider to be the most dominant center ever. As it stands right now the Lakers have won the most competitive Western conference possibly ever. Kobe is the MVP. And, he's just 29. He has a shot at an Olympic gold medal this summer. I don't know what you think, but Kobe's resume is looking awfully similar to Jordan's. Considering Kobe's age and the age of his team, he has a chance to win multiple rings for the second time in his career. So...do you all finally see the light?

May 30th, 2008

152

What's Wrong With The Pistons

Sorry for not blogging earlier, but today has been a pretty hectic day. Lots of Pistons chatter with friends who are dismayed by the Game 5 loss to the Celtics. I'm still confident Detroit can win this series. I realized today of all the teams the Pistons have played in the Eastern Conference finals, the Celtics are the weakest team. Detroit was done in by Miami and Cleveland because they had a real superstar who took over the entire series. Look at how much Dwyane Wade and LeBron James grew up at the expense of the Pistons. Boston has three very good players, but they do not have that one superstar that puts fear in everyone. In all fairness, only a few teams in the NBA have that player. Notice the title of this blog post is a statement, not a question. I know what's wrong with the Pistons. They're complacent, and a reflection of their coach, who is a nice guy, a decent offensive strategist, but he does not have the chops -- some might use another word here -- to win a NBA title. The Pistons have to fire Flip Saunders if the Pistons lose. Flip is the coaching version of Dirk Nowitzki. Talented, but he just doesn't have that "it." Under Larry Brown, the Pistons were more focused and did not slip into the same bouts of frustrating complacency that they do now. But that's what happens when the players run the team. Chris Webber caught a lot of heat for saying on the TNT broadcast that the players don't listen to Flip, but he was right. The Piston players treat Flip like a substitute teacher. They know he doesn't have what it takes. When they show his pregame talks, I think, well no wonder this team doesn't come out motivated half the time. The perfect coach for the Pistons is Avery Johnson. He's a tough-nosed disciplinarian who has the players respect because he's won rings. I don't think he'd have to over-coach Detroit as much as he did Dallas because the Pistons have effective, crunch-time players and Dallas did not. I'm going to go off subject here, but since I mentioned Avery Johnson...what's up with the Bulls hiring Doug Collins? Huh? The NBA recycles coaches all the time, but that move was just puzzling. Why would you rehire a coach that's already been run out of organization? See: Orlando Magic and Brian Hill. I'll give it a season and a half before the Baby Bulls revolt on DC.

May 29th, 2008

151

Yannick Noah Took The Words Out Of My Head

Let's be honest: Most of us have smoked weed before. In fact, a few of us haven't stopped smoking. Now you know how I come up with my column ideas*. I'm not one to condone drug use, but I'm starting to believe that we -- the media -- make too big of a deal out of pot usage among athletes. Yannick Noah took the words right out of my head, saying at the French Open he didn't understand why it was such a big deal that his son, Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah, got busted with an open beer container and little bit of 'dro in his pocket. I'm with Papa Noah on this one. Joakim is a big deal here in Florida because he led the Gators to consecutive NCAA titles. And granted, he's probably one of the more identifiable NBA players because of his hair. But a 20-something-year-old getting busted with open beer -- and having been to Gainesville many, many times, I'm a little surprised he got pinned to the rack for that -- and a couple weed sticks doesn't exactly make me want to re-start the This-Is-Your-Brain-On-Drugs campaign. Two things have, unfortunately, become passe in terms of athlete crime: DUIs and marijuana possession. Obviously, I'm not downgrading the seriousness of a DUI. But I'm almost of the mindset that we should stop reporting them unless a player has multiple DUIs, or there is videotape (see: Bob Huggins). If there is weed and a crack pipe, let's go with that. But if it's remnants in the cup-holder, let's run another story about Eight Belles. *I don't smoke weed, silly rabbits. Even though I write like I do.

May 28th, 2008

150

Lakers-Spurs: Foul?

There will predictably be lots of talk about Game 4 of Laker-Spurs because at the end of that game, Brent Barry was very clearly fouled by Derek Fisher. (Read True Hoop's blog about it) Now you know why I wrote this column. Sure, I was being pretty tongue-in-cheek, but Tuesday's game-ending play makes me look sort of genius. I'm not saying the Lakers didn't deserve to win. They showed a lot of toughness on the road. But the conspiracy theorists are circling because of a couple things: First, Joey Crawford was the referee for last night's game. That would be the same Joey Crawford whose perplexing dislike of Tim Duncan got him suspended and almost banned from the league. Second: Tim Donaghy. The betting scandal is still hanging over the NBA like a cloud. There is still a lot we don't know. Third: The ideal matchup for the league would be Lakers-Celtics. It's a ratings bonanza with two of the biggest fanbases and markets. This would be the most-watched finals since Jordan's last championship. Or, maybe the first of three consecutive Lakers titles during the Shaq-Kobe era. All of this in the backdrop of a "foul" call. I'm not about to beat the drum that the refs cost the Spurs the game. Or say this is apart of a larger conspiracy. That non-call -- which I consider a good thing -- is not the reasons the Spurs lost. Manu Ginobli didn't show up, and the Lakers supporting cast did. Kobe was a marksman out there. The Lakers have effectively taken control of this series and as much as I like the Spurs and want to see them gain legitimacy by winning back-to-back titles, it's clear they are about to be sent home.

May 28th, 2008

148

One Of The Most Awesome Blog Posts Ever!

EDIT: It looks like the blog post I linked to was taken down. Hmmmm. Wonder what happened? Anyway, here's the story: A rumor has been circulating that Kobe Bryant slept with a Lakers cheerleader. The cheerleader was supposedly fired by the Lakers and the rumormongers have said that the cheerleader was 18 and looked an awful lot like his wife, Vanessa Bryant. Well, one very brave reporter decided to delve further into the rumors. And the result was getting verbally undressed by Mrs. Bryant. The reporter blogged about this experience in the link that I provided, but that link and blog has disappeared. Hmmm. I read the blog before it was taken down and the writer had made fun of Mrs. Bryant's clothing choices, which she described as pretty outlandish (and I must say that part was pretty funny). According the blogging reporter, Mrs. Bryant confronted her with the Bryant children and let off some f-bombs, called her a bitch, etc. Entertaining stuff. But these to a larger point about athletes, wives, girlfriends and mistresses. A friend of mine who once represented NBA players told me the most treacherous, cold-hearted, vengeful people in sports circles are wives and girlfriends. He said mistresses are a breath of fresh air because they, by and large, know their role. They just want a little bit of cash, couple visits when the player is in town, and that's about it. They don't try to make the situation more than what it is. Wives and girlfriends, though, feel entitled. They want to carve out territory. They want rights. They have demands. And they don't take kindly to friends, managers and agents being more influential than they are. Wives and girlfriends of athletes are very underestimated. The No. 1 question people wondered was why, Mrs. Bryant, chose to stick with Kobe following the Colorado incident and his public ommission that he cheated on her. Mrs. Bryant might be young, but she hardly seems naive. Remember that controversy with Karl Malone, where Malone seemed like he was trying to hit on his teammate's wife? I've always thought that was Mrs. Bryant's way of warning Kobe about what could potentially happen. I.e., cheat on me again and yes, I could sleep with your teammate. For sure, the biggest playas usually can't handle things being on other foot -- meaning the woman is getting hers like he's getting his. That's part of being a playa, isn't it? Get them hooked in and devoted to you, while you handle business elsewhere. Most of the wives and girlfriends of professional athletes that I know are sweet and intelligent, but they have underneath lurks a layer of gangsta-ism that if tweaked the wrong way...it could get ugly. They are savagely territorial, but they have to be that way. Think about the hordes of babes they had to outrun to get a professional athlete to marry them. Think about what it must be like to not have your own identity. You have to be a gangsta because there are far too many outside elements that pose a threat. Is it a little Stepford-ish? For sure. But obviously, it works.

May 27th, 2008

147

A Memorable Memorial Day

I received this e-mail a few days ago, but didn't read it until today: Subject: YOU ARE A TYPICAL FEMALE NIGGER GO FUCK YOURSELF. i WISH YOU WOULD DIE SO THERE WOULD BE ONE LESS APE LOOKING FEMALE WALKING THE EARTH. GO LAKERS The subject line is what pulled me into the e-mail. I can't say I never get these type of e-mails, but I get them enough that it's really no big deal to me. But this one was a little different. My first thought was laughter. I loved the "Go Lakers" line. After calling me a slur and wishing for my death...oh, how about some well wishes for the Lakers? Hysterical. Anyway, other than the obvious foolishness of the e-mail, I also was struck by it because this was in response to the column I just wrote about how America should be pulling for Spurs-Pistons, not Lakers-Celtics. It's not like I wrote about race. Usually, when people write these emails, they never leave their real names. It's usually from a made-up e-mail address like, dropdead@hotmail.com or ihateyouandallofyourfamily@gmail.com. Not this guy. He included his first and last name. And me, being the crafty reporter that I am...I decided to Google him. It turns out...wait for it...wait for it... He's an Army officer. For real. I tell you, God sure does have a sense of humor. Here it is, Memorial Day, the day we're supposed to honor veterans and our Armed Service personnel, and I get that e-mail. Unbelievable. Now, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Armed service men and women e-mail me all the time. Even when they disagree, they're usually respectful, earnest and thoughtful. I'm certainly not going to hold this e-mail against them. It's just the very definition of irony.

May 26th, 2008

146

Athletes And The Media

Today I finally saw the entirety of the Bob Costas special town hall meeting, devoted to diagnosing the evolving sports media landscape. Buzz Bissinger's tirade got the bulk of the discussion, but I found the most intriguing part to be the component about the widening disconnect between players and reporters. Some things I agreed with, and some I didn't. Sports Illustrated columnist Selena Roberts was very eloquent, and Jim McEnroe was very thoughtful. Tiki Barber stuck with one point the whole discussion. I would have liked to see him offer more. Anyway, this is where the impact of race also should have been discussed. One reason players and reporters got along so well back when Mickey Mantle and Babe Ruth played is because everyone looked the same. The athletes and the sports reporters were, in many ways, peers. The money gap wasn't as wide, and there was a certain comfort there because they were all white males. Today, so much has changed. There is a gross amount of money in sports, but that money is being earned by athletes at a much younger age. Athletes of yesterday were more interested in being individuals, in having their own thoughts, interests and opinions. Today's athlete comes into the professional fold with the goal of being as corporate as possible. As Selena Roberts noted, someone like LeBron James has layers and layers of people in front of him, so the odds of getting to know a superstar like him is inconceivable. The money has changed significantly, but also the people making the money. The racial dynamic dynamic in football, basketball, and baseball has changed dramtically, but the people covering those leagues has not. So you have white males covering a professional baseball league dominated by Latin players -- many of whom don't speak English well and do not follow the same cultural norms. You have football and basketball leagues that are majority African-American and they also practice and come from different culture norms. The wealth has created a sense of resentment -- not by all sports writers, but enough -- and the skin color has created a separation, too. It's natural and human. Whenever any of us walk into a room and no one in it looks like us, we either seek out someone who is like us or operate in that room with a disconnect. You may eventually build a repoire, but it's not something that comes naturally. But the Costas panel made the mistake of only look at the growth and wealth in sports from one side. Athletes are making a ton of money, but so are reporters. Columnists like Michael Wilbon and Rick Reilly are million-dollar columnists, making as much as some of the athletes and coaches they cover. Sports reporters would be naive to ignore the growing trend of opinion makers who have been able to generate enormous wealth because of their distinct voices. Me, I never wanted to be a columnist. The reason I became one is because I was influenced by the growth and wealth potential. As one of my good buddies said, "enterprise writers (what I wanted to be) aren't on PTI and Around the Horn." Now, I certainly don't write things with the intent of increase television and radio opportunities. I write what I feel. I write what I argue about with my friends. I write what I see. But I can tell you I certainly know of columnists who write columns knowing that it will raise hackles, and generate interest. Bottom line: Sports writers and athletes both have changed quite a bit in the last 30, 40 or 50 years. One of my favorite books is Roger Kahn's "Boys Of Summer," and the first time I read it, I couldn't help but be somewhat jealous that Kahn really seemed to know the team he was covering. They traveled together, ate together and treated one another like human beings. That just doesn't happen anymore. Don't get me wrong. I've been able to develop solid friendships with some of the athletes I've covered. But today's athlete seems to prefer us not to have a sense of who they are -- that is, until they get into trouble and they wonder why no one is giving them the benefit of the doubt. Today's athlete is more entitled. If they're a basketball player, people have been telling them how good they are for at least a decade by the time they have regular interactions with the media. Think about it: LeBron James was on the cover of Sports Illustrated when he was 16 or 17. He earned his first $100 million at 18. Alex Rodriguez has lived his whole life as a millionaire. So has Derek Jeter. Money doesn't necessarily have to change you, but it does change who you spend time with, where you live, and what you do. With athletes having their own blogs and web sites and choosing to break their own news, I fear reporters will become less and less relevant.

May 24th, 2008

145

Serious Question To Consider

This was a question posed to me, in light of the decision to redo Beverly Hills 90210: What major movie made since 1980 is most likely to be remade first? My boy, Gabe, who posed the question, said it would be Top Gun. Good pick. Would love to see a Hollywood update of the ambiguously gay volleyball scene. Maybe in this one, Maverick and Iceman will actually make out instead of filling the screen with unabashed sexual tension. Anyway, I'm thinking a John Hughes remake is in order. Awkward teenage girl against the pitfalls of high school (Pretty In Pink, Sixteen Candles) or rebellious, but charming, filthy rich kid who takes a day off from high school and gets into one, long misadventure (Ferris Bueller's Day Off). You can find any number of young, coked-out stars to fit these roles. Your thoughts?

May 24th, 2008

144

What's Vince Young Apologizing For?

If I was Vince Young, I never would have done this. He apologized for being a grown man, and probably gave more power to a situation than it deserved. Some drunk pictures of Young recently surfaced on the Internet. He wasn't doing anything crazy, unless you count being drunk and shirtless among a whole bunch of other guys "crazy." Though, that's more like strange because they all looked like they were in the middle of some cult-type situation. VY is well over 21 and in the offseason. When I was his age, I was doing the same thing -- getting drunk with my friends and enjoying life. I know VY will get no sympathy because he's rich, young and popular, and this is what you get when you're a NFL quarterback. But if people are snapping pictures of athletes drinking in their own homes, then they've got no safe haven. I certainly don't blame blogs. They're trying to remain relevant and economically viable, like most other businesses. You could say an athlete shouldn't put themselves in that situation, but what constitutes a "situation" anymore? If I can't be drunk at home, at a club with my friends, then where are athletes supposed to go to enjoy any semblance of privacy? Is that even possible anymore? Considering the evolving landscape between what's personal and what is not, if I were an athlete, I would never apologize for something like this. If you want to stop buying my jersey because I've had a few, then that's on you. VY should have taken the Charles Barkley approach on this one, which often times is screw you, I'm going to be me.

May 23rd, 2008

143

Kobe v. MJ (Part 3,411)

Got this e-mail today: "Hey Jemele, I was searching Google the other day, and stumbled upon a article of you saying Kobe Bryant was better than Michael Jordan. I respect you and think you know alot of basketball, but honestly that's like saying TJ Ford is better than Magic Johnson. Completely untrue. Anyways, keep up the other-wise good work." Hmm, I wouldn't exactly put Kobe Bryant in T.J. Ford territory, considering Kobe's the MVP and best player in the world -- something Ford couldn't even do on a XBox game. But I suppose we're all entitled to our opinions. I get this same e-mail from other readers at least three or four times a week. People just can't believe I had the nerve to say that Kobe is better than Jordan. To be honest, I don't think I did a good job of really explaining why I feel that way in that initial ESPN column. People totally missed the point, sending me Jordan's point totals, career averages...just loaded my inbox down with statistical information I already knew. As I had somehow overlooked Jordan won six MVPs. Now I didn't expect anyone to agree with me, but the most annoything thing about this debate is how people continue to act like it's so impossible for someone's skill level to equal or supercede the MJ's. Isn't that how life works? We see the original, and then we see improved, faster, quicker, better models. After all, there was a time when no one thought we would ever see a player with Dr. J's athleticism. But we have -- MJ, Kobe, Vince Carter (pre-crappy knees), etc. The game evolves and so does the skill level. It's obvious that Kobe has studied MJ's every move. He's not only perfected those moves, but developed particular skill sets faster than Jordan did. For example, Jordan was never as good of a long-range shooter as Kobe. Over time, Jordan added that element to his game, but it came along for Kobe much faster -- as did Kobe's fadeaway, post-up game, and mid-range shooting. Kobe ceased strictly being an above-the-rim player a lot quicker than Jordan. For the record: I AM NOT SAYING JORDAN ISN'T THE GREATEST PLAYER EVER IN NBA HISTORY. Considering his global and economic impact, and his worldwide popularity, it's impossible not to put Jordan as greatest ever. But here are some things people always fail to consider in the never-ending Kobe v. Jordan debate: 1. Jordan is possibly the most magnetic sports figure of all time. I truly can't figure out why. His quotes were dry, rehearsed and uninteresting. He wasn't particularly funny, and he never let people in. But he could sell you things that you didn't even know you wanted and Americans dig that. He made you want a bald head, his shoes, Gatorade, and Hanes. People romanticized the type of person they thought Jordan was. He never pissed you off. Never said anything controversial. He was so bland that it was transfixing. 2. Revisionist history has turned Jordan into the perfect human being. People forget the shots he missed, the times he was a jerk to his teammates, how selfish he could be. If you read the book, "Jordan Rules," you get a much more balanced picture of MJ. There were times when he checked the scorer's table constantly during games to see how many points he needed to meet his average or get a triple-double. Can you imagine what people would say about that now? Nobody remembers the bad stuff, like when he knocked Steve Kerr out in practice, or how he often taunted his teammates because they lacked his ability. 3. Jordan didn't have the Internets, and he missed out on a time in sports media where athlete's personal lives are covered just as much as their on-court performances. He also missed out on the 24-hour news cycle and advent of debate shows like Around the Horn, PTI, and First and Ten. It wasn't until the end of Jordan's playing career that it began getting reported that he had a sham of a marriage. And could you imagine what the coverage of his father's murder would have been like today? They'd be talking about it non-stop on ESPN, Fox, and CNN. Reporters would be camped out at his house. He'd be mobbed at games. It would be a real distraction and for sure his gambling would be an enormous issue. We didn't know that much about Jordan's personal life, and it worked in his favor and was largely responsible for his larger-than-life image as a player. The media was so awed by his physical ability, they shied away from reporting any of the bad things they likely witnessed or heard about His Airness. It is my opinion the media's dislike of Kobe cost him one or two MVPs. What happened in Colorado had a huge impact, but even before then, Kobe was never well-liked by the press. They considered him spoiled and petulant. Jordan may not have been spoiled, but he was definitely petulant. Unfortunately for Kobe, his petulancy was much more widely reported and dissected. 4. We don't seem to realize how the size -- or lack thereof -- of players during Jordan's days contributed to his dominance. The players today are bigger, faster and stronger than they were when Jordan played. Granted, the players from Jordan's era were more skilled and had a higher basketball IQ, but it's a lot different having to shoot over Craig Ehlo versus someone like Tracy McGrady, who is 6-foot-9 and just as quick. Of course, I realize that assumes McGrady would be interested in playing defense. Anyway, guys on the wing are huge. You got a guy like 6-11 Lamar Odom, who is able to play four different positions. You have a 7-footer like Dirk Nowitzki playing the two (and by the way, foreign players were largely irrelevant during the Jordan era). You got Deron Williams playing the point at 6-5. Now, this is not to say Jordan wouldn't have averaged 30 a game. He would. But we wouldn't look at his athleticism in a vacuum if there were other players with just as much physical ability. Compared to Larry, Zeke and Magic, Jordan looked like a freak. He wouldn't look like a freak to us today with Kobe, Chris Paul, and LeBron James and others on the floor. Which brings me to this: What would Jordan have done against LBJ, who is built like Julius Peppers and taller? 5. That Jordan never had to go through a dominant big man was a huge bonus. And no, I don't count Shaq because he still had diapers on. Olajuwon won his two when Jordan was out of the league. I MIGHT give you Patrick Ewing. Maybe even Karl Malone. But could in-his-prime Jordan have defeated in-his-prime Shaq in a seven-game series? Or what about Duncan? I have my doubts. Now, I'll admit that there are certain things Kobe has done that Jordan would never do. When the Lakers had Phoenix on the ropes as a 7-seed in the playoffs a couple years ago, Jordan would have never jeopardized the game with pouting as Kobe did. However, I believe the Shaq situation would have turned out the same. Given Jordan's ego, he would have never been able to cope with playing alongside someone like Shaq, who was more beloved and popular than Kobe. He also would have hated Shaq's work ethic and carrying the team throughout the regular season, only to see Shaq get the glory in the playoffs. Kobe handled everything exactly as MJ would, and yes, I think MJ would have made the same trade demands as Kobe if he were in his situation last summer. No doubt in my mind. Again, you don't have to agree with me. Kobe will never match or surpass Jordan's hardware, although he might catch him on the NBA's all-time scoring list. Kobe will never be as loved as Jordan, has no shot at doing what Jordan did for the overall game, but as a player, Kobe has every single tool Jordan did and a few he didn't. But I expect the Kobe-Jordan argument to pick up considerably if Kobe wins a NBA title.

May 22nd, 2008

142

Two Unbelievable Stories

A man who has sex with cars. And sure, the woman who did this has a deluxe suite in hell, but in a weird way, it's brilliant. But let me start with the man who likes to bone Yugos. Here's a pretty hilarious paragraph in the story: "Chris, 38, has a recognised psychological condition that makes him physically attracted to motors. He has had sex with more than 30 different models in 20 years ? plus two motorboats and a pal’s JETSKI. Chris, who DOES have a girlfriend, confessed: "A nice car for me is a feast for the senses. It's about smells, feelings and tastes. If I see a gorgeous Mercedes I know I’d love to jump into bed with it." You know, lots of things happen in life. We go through tragedies, triumphs and stretches of happiness. But I'd just like to think there is no event possible that would drive me to have sex with a car. Also, when thinking about this visually, it just brings a huge amount of disgust -- particularly when you think about, ahem, entry points. As for the woman who wrote a fake obit for an imaginary daughter just so she could get creditors off her back...let's hope she doesn't have a real daughter, but less also subtract points for a failed gameplan. This could have worked. But she should have written her own obit and then had someone else mail that to her creditors. If I'm not mistaken, your credit debt is absolved if you're deceased. Or maybe that only works in Ocean's 11-13.

May 22nd, 2008

141

Worst TV Moment Of My Life

This is bad things happening to good people. It's an atrocity. It's vomit-inducing. It's catastrophic. Worse, it makes me feel drastically old. What kind of world do we live in where Beverly Hills 90210, that corny series that helped us understand the 90s, gets remade? What kind of world tolerates an updated version of Brandon, Brenda, Dylan, Kelly, Valerie, Donna, Steve, Andrea Zuckerman (because she always said her first AND last name), David, his corny friend who died whose name I can never remember, the Walshes....WHY? And unfortunately, it gets worse. Michael from The Wire -- that cool, hardcore gangsta with principles -- is on 90210 The Remix as the corny, black friend. CBF (Corny Black Friend) is there to give the one-man, dramatic soliloquoy if there's ever an episode where someone dates interracially or if a cross is burning somewhere on Rodeo Drive. How do you go from Omar Reincarnate to Dixon Mills, aka Corny Black Guy? It was bad enough to have it reinforced for the 2,387th time that I'm old. When they start remaking stuff you grew up with, you feel like getting a prescription for cyanide pills and taking 10 of them with a fifth of Ketel One. I mean, I can't tell you how many things I wanted to throw when Britney Spears remade Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative." Now I know how my mother felt when Tina Turner remade Al Green's "Let's Stay Together." But at least, Tina was considered old school. Who are these young punks in the revamped 90210? How is this show going to be any different from The Hills, Laguna Beach, Baldwin Hills, and all those other 90210-like shows I've successfully avoided because I know how sweet it is to see the original? I was a sophomore in high school when the original 90210 came out. 1990 was an innocent time. We were easily shocked and amused, but still hopeful. Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson. We were still wearing MC Hammer pants. Nelson Mandela was released. The Stanley Cup Finals were in May. Sinead O'Conner was huge. We were jamming to Dee-Lite. And obviously, "jamming" was still in. 90210 was in its heydey when I went off to college. I skipped class countless times to see if Donna would ever give up the booty or if Dylan would finally die from his countless drug relapses and squandered wealth. Obviously, I'm emotionally connected to this series. But I'm a believer that there are certain things that can never be remade. Certain actors who can't play anything else. I mean, can you imagine if Al Pacino won an Oscar for a romantic comedy in which he played a blind man? Oh, wait...that actually happened.

May 21st, 2008

140

Do White People Really Like This?

One of my favorite sites, Stuff White People Like has a hilarious post about how white people love scarves. Peep the intro: "White People’s body temperatures do not operate on logical or consistent levels, and because of this white people are often forced to wear clothing combinations that might seem strange or illogical." Full disclosure: I've seen these strange and illogical combinations. One that befuddles me is the summer-like clothing in seemingly ultra-cold conditions. Then again, I've seen black folks wear fur coats to the movies, which is another post for another day. Anyway...scarves? Really?

May 20th, 2008

139

Is Peter Vescey right?

Longtime New York Post columnist Peter Vescey throws a fastball today, calling out Cleveland coach Mike Brown and LeBron James for their respective roles in the Cavs being sent home early by the Celtics. Vescey, who calls LeBron, LeBrick, had this to say about the league's biggest superstar: "Of course, LeBron's field-goal percentage is way down; we seldom see him pull up for an open mid-range shot and often witness him settle for a 3-point attempt with plenty of time left on the 24-second clock to do something constructive. His clunky trifecta with the Cavs down one (90-89, I believe) was untimely, senseless and unconscionable." Vescey says Brown has no control over James, and since he doesn't, Bron's growth is basically limited. He's learning on the fly offensively, and not always well. I don't totally agree with Vescey, but he makes a few noteworthy points. LeBron's a great passer, but he dribbles too much. His over-dribbling bogs down the Cavs' offensive possessions. Dwyane Wade is guilty of this too, which is why the Heat seriously need a point guard. My only criticism of LeBron as a player has been questioning whether he wants to be "global icon" (his words, not mine) more than a champion. Obviously, LeBron has a terrific sense of NBA history, but I worry the ridiculous amount of money he made by the time he was 19 has in some ways dulled his edge. I know this sounds ridiculous because I'm talking about a once-in-a-generation player who took one of the crappiest teams ever to the NBA Finals. What I want to see in LeBron is Kobe's will, or Jordan's will -- whichever you prefer. Notice the difference in LeBron when he played on the Olympic team. He was surrounded by other great players and it made him want to be on his game. He was a mercenary. But I want to see LeBron add elements to his game. After the Spurs beat the Cavs in the Finals, we should have saw something different from LeBron this year on the offensive end. He's still the same offensively as he was three years ago. Where's the fadeaway? The consistent 12-to-14 footer? The post-up game? It's so much missing to LeBron's game that it's both a tease, as well as frustrating. Too many times I see LeBron resort to some impossible 27-footer when he can't drive to the basket. For me to consider LeBron truly great, I've got to see him bring more counterpunches. So far, he hasn't done that. CLICK WORD CLICK WORD CLICK WORD

May 20th, 2008

138

The Golden Child

Flicking through the channels late last night and stumbled upon the Eddie Murphy movie, The Golden Child, which was made in 1986. I was (muffled sound) years old. I did a podcast with Bill Simmons earlier this week and one of the things we talked about was whether Axel Foley was gay. Of course, I thought about that as I was watching The Golden Child. Still undecided. Anyway, the more I watched The Golden Child the more I realized something: That movie made absolutely no sense. Consider all the weird elements in this movie. The devil. A mute, Asian child. A retarded man with a chain named Fool. An asian woman who was half centipede. A guru with terrible hygiene and body function control. Seriously, if a screen writer came to MGM or any of the studios with The Golden Child script today, how would they pitch it? "OK, picture this: A black man who is a social worker comes across an abused, Asian child. Only the devil kidnaps him, leaves him a cage and tries to get him to eat oatmeal filled with blood. The social worker is trying to rescue him with an attractive Asian woman, who is half-angel, half-human being. But for the social worker to rescue the Asian child, he's got to go to Tibet, consult a guru who digs his nose and farts all the time and then manuever through an elaborate cave to get a knife that will kill the demon that has kidnapped the child. We got a yes on this?" The plot to The Golden Child is completely absurd. The only reason anyone watched this movie is because it was the 80s and most of those who wrote and starred in movies were sniffing cocaine every 15 minutes or so. You honestly have to be high for The Golden Child to make any sense.

May 20th, 2008

137

Celtics-Pistons

Pistons in 6... 1. Pistons are setup perfectly to win Game 1. Boston is coming off an emotional series, their second consecutive 7-gamer. Pistons are rested, which is a good thing for them because this cast has a lot of miles on them. Chauncey Billups is fine and pretty soon a team is going to beat the Celtics at home. I'm predicting it's Game 1. 2. Boston's psyche is fragile. They were shaken up against Atlanta and if not for a superhuman effort by Paul Pierce in Game 7, they were on the verge of getting taken out. The Pistons know what they will do in a tight game in the fourth quarter. Boston still doesn't. 3. Rasheed will have a big series. He plays up or down to his competition. He'll relish the challenge of playing against KG. More importantly, he'll pull him from underneath the basket with his 3-point shooting. 4. Pistons have a better bench. Although, PJ Brown was an underrated pickup for the Celtics and I could see him being a problem for Detroit with his toughness, defense and timely shot-making. Still, Rodney Stuckey really grew up in the last series. Jason Maxiell is a warrior. 5. The Pistons will be mentally engaged in every game. This is HUGE. The Pistons have a bad habit of letting games slip away, of not respecting their competition and getting bored. They won't get bored in this series because they'll feel they have something to prove. Boston is trying to fool people into thinking they're the underdog, but that's complete bull. Also, the Pistons will be motivated because people will harp on the possibility of a Boston-L.A. final, and Detroit will get pegged as the team nobody wants to see. Already, Rasheed has called Boston, "Team NBA." Priceless.

May 20th, 2008

136

Lakers-Spurs

Spurs in 7... Here's why: 1. Spurs-Pistons was my preseason pick. Full disclosure: I've been picking that same final for three straight years. 2. Man, I just don't know what will kill the Spurs. On TNT's post-game coverage Monday night, Charles Barkley said the Spurs were like cockroaches...you just can't kill them. 3. They impose their will on other teams. Nobody wants to play the Spurs grind-it-out style and at times, opposing teams are able to speed up the game. But in the course of a 7-game series, it just doesn't happen with great consistency. 4. Defense. Spurs can get stops whenever they need it. 5. How many points is Tim Duncan going to average on Pau Gasol? A scary figure would be the appropriate answer. 6. I just sense Lamar Odom won't be nearly as effective against the Spurs as he was against Utah. 7. Derek Fisher is an above-average defender, but Tony Parker is going to be a nightmare for him to guard. 8. Kobe will play well against the Spurs because he always has, but I'm not so sure how the Lakers supporting cast will do.

May 19th, 2008

135

Only In Florida

The level of sexual depravity in my now-adopted home state continues to amaze me. To Catch A Predator basically has built a headquarters here, and according to this story, a certain Tampa establishment has become masturbation central. Guys getting busted becoming one with themselves isn't news breaking. But in this case, one of the guys busted is general manager of Fox 13. Guess what'll be leading the 11'o'clock news tonight! By the way, this one paragraph alone makes this story a must-read: "According to the arrest reports, the six men formed a circle around the undercover officers inside the movie theater and began masturbating."

May 19th, 2008

134

Jason Giambi's Thong

That would be a great blog name, wouldn't it? I don't know if you all have seen this story, but Jason Giambi in a classic episode of Too Much Information revealed that he wears a gold thong to break out of hitting slumps. What, were the stilettos hurting his feet? For now, we won't even deal with the idea of Giambi in a thong. Let's deal with another key element of Thong-gate. The story said:..."Several teammates acknowledged they've tried wearing it, too, including Yankees captain Derek Jeter and outfielder Johnny Damon." Ex-squeeze me? Bacon powder? There are just certain items you shouldn't share -- toothbrushes, protective cups, razors, lingerie...and definitely not underwear. Thongs, as most of you know, are lodged in a certain region of the body, making the idea of sharing a thong really unthinkable. It's not like these were bloomers. Or, even boxers. And you're also talking about sweaty athletes passing around 'draws among each other. I mean, how "clean" could these thongs have possibly gotten? I'm not trying to be nasty, but if you believe 10 percent of what the tabloids say about Derek Jeter's pimping, there is no telling where certain things have been. OIB -- Only In Baseball. Could you imagine NFL guys sharing jock straps? (Shudder)

May 19th, 2008

133

Japanese Bug Fights?

It's amazing what passes for entertainment these days. Wait, actually, let me amend that: It's amazing what I like to be entertained by. Came across this site today. I never knew seeing bugs fight in a glass enclosure could be so entertaining. Damn, what does that say about me?

May 19th, 2008

132

A Question For Men

My boyfriend and I had an interesting discussion today while watching WNBA highlights. Yes, I watch the WNBA and no, I'm not apologizing or making a snarky joke. While watching, I wondered if the WNBA made player jerseys for men. The NBA, for example, makes jerseys for women, which are more form-fitting and conducive to a woman's shape. I asked my BF if he would wear a WNBA player's jersey, or any female athlete for that matter and he said, no. I even went down the list of great female athletes and he shook his head at every single name. It got me to thinking...is it considered a ManLaw violation if a guy wears a woman's jersey? Help me out here. EDIT: A male friend of mine says then men lose cool points for driving "girl cars." He ranks the Toyota Scion No. 1. Ouch.

May 18th, 2008

131

To Speak Or Not To Speak?

A fascinating piece by ESPN's Shelley Smith on how LeBron James has decided it's time for him to begin speaking out on China, Darfur and the human rights violations that have cloaked this year's Olympics. Only one problem: LeBron isn't really speaking out. He came into the in the "Outside the Lines" piece like he was really about to drop some knowledge. To his credit, he eloquently talked about why it was important for athletes to take a stand and it's clear that he was motivated by the criticism he received for not speaking when originally asked about the issue. But lost in the bluster is that LeBron still hasn't signed the petition former teammate Ira Newble began on behalf of NBA players a year ago. Hmmm... why is that? It's one thing to cut a public service announcement, tell an ESPN crew that human rights violations are bad, but if you don't put your name behind it fully, how on Earth is this taking a stand? Case in point: Kobe cut a PSA about Darfur, but he wouldn't speak on camera to ESPN about it. Kobe's rep, according to Smith, said they feared he might say something "too controversial." Huh? Either you believe strongly in an issue or you don't, and more often that not athletes are unwilling to use their influence and celebrity to bring awareness to issues because they fear backlash from the public, their leagues, and even those within their inner circle. Athletes fear becoming the next Craig Hodges -- who I believe was blackballed from the NBA by Michael Jordan because he checked Jordan about the morality of selling inner-city kids $150-$200 sneakers and willingly endorsing a product made by poor children in sweatshops. These PSAs and LeBron's poetic musings on Darfur are really just well-crafted, PR influenced punking out. I'll take them being quiet or being fake. For example, Charles Barkley said in the OTL piece he doesn't care about Darfur. I can deal with that because at least he's being honest. Barkley also mentions that athletes are better served paying attention to their own communities, than worrying about atrocities in other countries. I can agree with that, but here's the problem with that: It's not that high-profile black athletes are wary of taking on international issues, it's that they are reluctant to talk about anything -- whether in their backyard or outside of it. The best way to silence any athlete these days is to ask him what they think about the presidential election, or the war in Iraq. Pick any topic where they have to put their beliefs out there and you won't hear a word because by the time they reach the professional ranks, they've been conditioned to be on the conveyer belt. (Those who read Bill Rhoden's "Forty-Million Dollar Slave" know what I mean by that) Call me unrealistic and old school, but I believe black athletes have a special responsibility to be more than "just athletes." It's true that not all of them are cut out for politics, or public speaking. Everyone has to contribute in their own way and I realize many of them have charities and give generously. I'm not knocking that, but sometimes a voice can be a more powerful influence than a check. After all, we see what happens when someone like LeBron lends his voice to telling kids how they need his unbelievably high-priced gym shoes. Why not do something more? Many of these guys grew up in communities that were disproportionately affected by black-on-black crime, teen pregnancy, racism, and police brutality. If just one of them would have protested against the police officers who killed Sean Bell, imagine what that would have done. I realize Tom Cruise doesn't have to be a role model for the white community, but I'm sorry, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant and others do have to be one for the black community. Our community can't afford to not have an all hands on deck mentality. Besides, athletes like Jim Brown, Jackie Robinson, Bill Russell, and others suffered through segregation, humiliation, and intense racism, that was far worse than these younger players could imagine. And their suffering has paved the way for these guys to make millions. The least they could do is pay it forward and make sure things are a little bit better for the next generation.

May 17th, 2008

130

Sports Media

I'm a little late on commenting on the Bob Costas town hall meeting about the sports media and athletes, but it took me some time to compose my thoughts and with Tom Brady's recent criticisms of ESPN... athletes' relationship with the sports media is pushed back to the forefront. (Side note: Check out my boy Bomani Jones' very solid take on the Costas' town hall meeting) I'll give an immediate no-shit observation and admit coverage of athletes is a lot different than it used to be. It is seedier. We delve into their private lives more, as evidenced by these photos of Vince Young getting drunk off the syz-urp. (Another side note: What's up with VY and all those dudes taking their shirts off while drunk? Kinda don't get that one. Women, yes. Dudes, no) But as an old-school newspaper head, I'd like to think that athletes can differentiate between a print reporter, a blogger, a fan with a cellphone camera, a TV reporter, a TV analysts, and a radio host. Yes, we're all generally apart of the media. But we're not all journalists. Big difference. I'm certainly not going to blame everything on bloggers because that's unfair. Besides, many of them are trained journalists and even those who haven't been classically trained utilize the ethics and practices that most journalists do. The idea that all bloggers are jealous, journalist wanna-bes or guys who are opining from the basement is as out-dated as the idea that girls can't play sports. The problem is that technology has made it so everyone is a reporter. If a "civilian" sees Peyton Manning dressed in high heels with a leotard on, the first thing they're going to do is whip out their cameraphone and take a photo. Then, they're going to sell that photo to the highest Internet or print bidder, OR they'll start their own blog and the post the photos themselves. And, of course, because something like that is out there on the Internet, the print, radio and other traditional forums are forced to follow suit and create their own stories out of that news. So inevitably, you have mediums who aren't accustomed to covering athlete's personal lives finding it necessary to do so to stay relevant. Chicken before the egg, or the other way around...you decide? Of course, this has made an athlete's world that much smaller and more uncomfortable. The Matt Leinart party photos were completely irrelevant and unrelated to anything he might do as a quarterback. Unless he was doing a beer bong a couple hours before the game, it should not have been news that a young, good-looking, starting quarterback in the NFL had a party AT HIS HOUSE and a beer bong and a bunch of hot women showed up. When we make that stuff news, we lose credibility -- print reporters, bloggers, radio and TV guys...whoever. Sure, the public has an appetite for the stuff, but sometimes we have to give readers what they need, and not always want they want. If newspapers gave readers what they wanted, the front page would feature the comics, sudoku, and a britany spears update. With this environment, it's no wonder athletes are now turning to their own web sites and blogs and they are much more ambivalent about trusting the media. Before big-time media was really a factor, beat writers traveled with the team, stayed in their hotel and really got to know the athletes. I'm not so sure it should be like that again because the really old school media had a tendency to get so close to players that ethics and journalism were an afterthought. But a balance is possible. We shouldn't strive to be confrontational with players. We should try to humanize them because, well, they are human. And we shouldn't idolize them because, well, they aren't gods.

May 17th, 2008

129

Which Is Funnier

We're going to have a funny-off, which is partially inspired by my boy, Lang Whitaker, the executive editor at SLAM who writes one of the best links columns out there. Which is the funnier video. This or this. EDIT: And you'll find this funny, if you like stuff like Flava of Love or I Love New York.

May 15th, 2008

128

Rolling With Bill Simmons

I just got off the phone with one of my favorite people -- ESPN columnist Bill Simmons. He graciously asked me to be apart of his podcast (he calls it the B.S. report) and we got a chance to discuss everything from the NBA and my old high school to Robert Downey Jr., raising the bar for crackheads everywhere. Sorry, reformed crackheads. Anyway, I know Simmons has been making news because of his recent comments to Deadspin. This is the second time in the last couple weeks a high-profile writer has been open about a disagreement with their employer. The other was Jason Whitlock, who also once unloaded on ESPN. I have great respect for Bill. He's a great guy and I admire him. He had the confidence to ignore every steadfast journalistic rule -- and he still became an enormous success. Anyway, I hope he works out everything with ESPN. We need him. EDIT: Here is the podcast I did with Bill earlier. We're shooting the you-know-what about the NBA playoffs and whether Axel Foley was gay. Though, Bill brought up a good point about Eddie Murphy concerning his on-screen romances. In the first two Beverly Hills Cop movies, they hinted at an interracial romance, but never totally delivered it. And in Golden Child, it was the same thing. Bill and I both wondered if that was a conscious, Hollywood effort. Something to chew on.

May 15th, 2008

127

What An Apology

For a newspaper, this is about as bad as it gets. The Boston Herald had to apologize to the Patriots (and to readers) because they broke the story that the Pats taped the Rams' walk-through before Super Bowl 36. This comes after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced yesterday no such tape existed. Way to make it pretty obvious the source for the Herald's initial report was either scorned former video coordinator Matt Walsh or someone in his camp. Now as a sidebar to this story, Tom Brady went on local Boston sports radio yesterday and blasted not only the newspaper, but ESPN. He accused the Herald of the ol' trying-to-sell-newspapers bit and jabbed us for using this to fill our airwaves. Wait, hol' up a sec, Tom. TB seems to forget one important fact -- THE PATRIOTS ACTUALLY GOT CAUGHT CHEATING! That's why Goodell fined them and took away a draft pick. He didn't do that because they were innocent. He did that because Suge Belichick was taping other teams in an effort to gain an advantage. So, to come back at the media with a HOW-DARE-YOU attitude is weak. Just as athletes like to remind us that we don't play their game, I'm going to take this opportunity to remind Tom that he isn't a media professional. I guarantee you that coverage of the Patriots Super Bowl wins was a far bigger seller for the Herald and gained a better viewership response than this Spygate stuff. I tell non-media people all the time that good news is much more profitable than bad news. One of the biggest stories for ESPN.com in the last couple weeks involved the college softball team that took the hobbled player around the bases so an opposing team's player could have her first home run -- which was probably one of the greatest acts of sportsmanship I've ever seen. That story was tops on our site for days. So while I realize it's always fun to take shots at ESPN, Brady can't blame the press for what his team did. All the final conclusion proved was that the Patriots were cheaters, but just not as bad as everyone thought. Besides, that still doesn't exonerate his coach from using that tired-ass excuse that the Patriots were unaware that the videotaping was wrong -- even though the league sent them a letter saying if you get caught doing this, it's wrong! Now, I'd be wrong if blasted Brady with a baby momma joke. Instead, I'll just tell TB to stick to losing Super Bowls. OK, that was a little wrong.

May 14th, 2008

126

SpyHate

Please tell me I'm not the only one who is glad Spygate is over. What a collosal waste of time. I get it. The Patriots cheated. Or rather, they improved the cheat. They deserved to be punished. If NFL commissioner Roger Goodell would have decided to not only fine the Patriots and take away a draft pick, but suspend Bill Belichick a few games, I would have been fine with that. But for this to have dragged on for months is just baffling. For this to story to include the nosy meddling of a senator (Arlen Specter) is just unbelievable. I'm not trying to absolve the Patriots of anything because, again, they deserved what they got. They pretty much pulled a Kelvin Sampson. After they received a letter from the NFL warning them that any slippery videotaping would result in punishment, they should have shut down their high-tech espionage. But there is no doubt in my mind that this story has been fueled by a few transparent agendas. First, there is Goodell, who obviously didn't want to deal with this. Though I've got to believe that videotaping is easier to deal with than dogfighting. Then, there's Belichick and the Patriots, who most folks hate. Me, personally, I admire Belichick's gangsta. That's why I call him "Suge" Belichick. I have to admire someone who so obviously doesn't give a damn. Belichick makes the media's job difficult. He doesn't give you soundbites. He doesn't care if you like him. He doesn't always make his players available. He lies about injuries. He's what we call an a-hole. Which means that if there is the slightest hint of impropriety, scandal, or anything unsavory, the media is going to be on his ass like a Britney Spears drug problem. Just ask Barry Bonds what this feels like. So you have the hate factor, and the wantonly, oblivious commissioner issue. And finally...the senator-doesn't-have-anything-else-to-do issue. Although, it's not quite that simple. Specter -- you know, the same one who got super-producer Dallas Austin cleared of heroin charges in Dubai -- inserted himself into this situation because his two biggest campaign contributors are Comcast, which, in case you don't know, is involved in a heated battle with the NFL Network. Verrrrrry conveeeeenient. This was never about preserving integrity of the game. How could it be when the message from Day One was that, yes, there is a culture of cheating in football, but we can't have cheating like THIS? This was about agendas that needed to be filled. This was about hate -- from the media contingent, fans, other players, owners and coaches. This was about a former video coordinator who was disgruntled and wanted to draw attention to himself. If he was any good, he'd still be in the NFL. Specter's presence really bothered me. Steroids, it oculd be argued, is a public health issue. But this? If Specter wants to curry public favor, he needs to figure out a way to get gas prices underneath $3. You just can't convince me the Patriots videotaping was in any way related to their championships and dominance in recent years. Belichick could hand over his entire offense playbook, but even if you know where Randy Moss is going, there is no guarantee you can stop him. I've always said the one thing I liked about basketball compared to football is that basketball teams act like there's an invention called film. Again, you can tell me everything LeBron James is going to do in a game. But if he's bigger, stronger, faster and just flat-out better, what can you really do? Nothing. Just shut up and play.

May 13th, 2008

125

Funniest Thing Today

If you want a good laugh today, peep how this New York TV woman loses her cool. As someone who does television, this is one of my greatest fears. Although, homegirl has been doing television for 30-plus years. She's got no excuse.

May 13th, 2008

124

LeBron's Momma

I can only hope you watched Game 4 between the Cavs and Boston. Although, this morning on SportsCenter LeBron's dunk was No. 2 on our top-10 play list, by far the most hilarious/entertaining moment from last night's game was Gloria James -- aka Bron's Momma -- jumping into a scrum between Bron and Paul Pierce. It wasn't quite Jackie Christie trying to drop a 2-piece on Rick Fox, but it was ridiculous. What was Bron's Momma going to do? Drop a few thangs? Pull out a knife? Start swinging? Even funnier is that when Bron saw his momma raise up, he looked at her and said, "Sit yo' ass down!" Wow. Hey, it's like Bernie Mac said...ain't no mo' Big Momma's. Bron's Momma is in her mid-30s, and that kinda showed Monday night. EDIT: My boy Vince wrote a great column about how Bron's Momma getting gangster is a single-mom thing. I agree. Although, I was raised by a single mother and to this day, I've never sworn at my mother.

May 13th, 2008

123

All The Triflin Baby Daddies Say Owww!

An unfortunate by-product of my Karl Malone column is that several, trifling, absent baby Daddies have e-mailed me, trying to explain their respective "situations." For example, I received this e-mail: "I tried to take a stand and be a part of two trick babies I had out of wedlock and deceit from the mother. She told the D.A. I touched the little girl sexually. I had to go through a lot to prove her wrong which I did and now I refuse to go near those children or any child for that fact. Women need to start taking responsibility for their deceitful actions and Law Enforcement need also increase prosecution for the dismantling of families illegally. So my get back is G.A. Something to help sick ass females who live criminally to know that they can live honest lives. If they wanted to." Now, obviously, that e-mail isn't funny on its face, but it's fairly hilarious on an unintentional comedy scale. For one, what is a "trick baby?" Is that the new slang for kid out of wedlock or the dreadful term, illegitimate child? And if it is, wouldn't you rather be illegitimate or a bastard rather than a "trick baby?" Jus' sayin'... And then the e-mailer uses the term "touched" in describing a situation where he supposedly was accused of molestation. When I read one of my girls this e-mail, as soon as I said "touched," she fell out laughing. Now, again, molestation isn't funny...unless you're watching To Catch A Predator or using the term "touched." Seriously, "touched" is a term I've only heard black folks use. I guess saying "inappropriate advances" or "molestation" is too much. Only "touched" is just weird and country. I remember once hearing a black comedian talk about how black people refuse to admit it when they're family members ain't quite right. Like, everybody knows Uncle Johnny has been hearing voices for 56 years and instead of getting him some help, black folks will lock Uncle Johnny in the attic, let him watch All My Children all day and feed him a couple times, instead of taking him to see a psychiatrist. It's like when Chris Rock talked about how instead of turning in a molesting uncle to the police, black people will just keep it secret and blame the kids they get molested. "You knew damn well you shouldn't be around Uncle Johnny..." Anyway, I've gotten several e-mails like these over the last week. Memo to absentee fathers: I'm not cutting you any slack so you can save your Baby Momma Gone Mad stories. A few random thoughts... - Favorite headline of the day: "Topless Actress Sucks Toes In Pics" - Did an online chat today on ESPN.com. Here it is. Better hurry up and read it before it's moved to "insider" status. - Adventure No. 1: Woke up this morning to curl my hair, only to discover that my curlers were completely smashed. Thank you luggage handlers for throwing my bag up against a concrete wall. - Adventure No. 2: The power is out in my hotel room in Bristol, so until further notice, I'll be holed up in this Starbucks.

May 12th, 2008

122

Sunday Readin'

Well, I'm packing my suitcase because I'm going to be in Bristol doing First Take the next three days. You can't imagine how my face fell when I saw it was going to be 49 degrees on Tuesday. By the way, it's 94 here in Orlando. And before you ask, yes, I'm one of those whiny, weather snobs, even though I'm from Detroit, where snow is like a sibling. Anyway, enjoy today's reading list. - My Courageous Reporter Of The Year award goes to this woman, even though I know it's only May. She writes a heart-breaking, honest tale of her own rape 20-some years ago, which included admitting that if her rapist had been white she never would have gone with him in the first place. - This is what happens to most college basketball coaches who snitch. There are a lot more Abar Rouse's than Bruce Pearl's. - And on that same note this is what happens with most elite college basketball players. - Don't know about you, but I love a good drug story, especially when it involves an ex-NFL player buying seven kilos of coca-ina. Nice to know that in Phoenix, a kilo of blow costs $15,000-$16,000. Pretty cheap. - Why is some memorabilla dealer claiming O.J. Simpson admitted in a weed-induced haze he killed his wife and Ronald Goldman? - The Marvin Harrison you have yet to know. - Proof that Nas was right. Hip-hop is dead. - And finally, I leave you with something that's affected me personally. Chris Ewell, a sports wrter for the Baltimore Sun died of brain cancer on Saturday. I covered a few events with Chris. He was intelligent, shy, and had a very sweet sense of humor. Like many others who knew him, I was saddened by the news he'd been battling brain cancer. A couple months ago, one of Chris' friends told a few of us that he really didn't have much longer. I sent him a card while in L.A. for Jim Rome's show, just telling him my thoughts and prayers were with him. I can't tell you how glad I am I did that. Last year, Neal Shine, probably the greatest newspaperman I ever met, died. I had been alerted his condition was worsening and I'd written down his address, with the full intent of letting him know just how much he meant to my career. I met Neal when I was a teenager working at the Detroit Free Press. Here I was this scrub kid just answering phones and somehow I struck up a friendship with the publisher, who really was dedicated to blossoming young journalists. I would just bound into Neal's office and talk about sports. He was such a large figure to me. He was running one of the best newspapers in the country. He was so committed and made you feel that way, too. You just couldn't be in a room with him and not love journalism. His enthusiasm and dedication were infectious. He always encouraged me and over the years he sent me notes to let me know I'd been tracking my progress. So when he died, I was devastated. First, because the industry lost a titan. And second, because I procrastinated and never sent him that letter to tell him how much he meant to me. Even now, the post-it note with his address is on my desk because I can't bring myself to throw it away. Anyway, because of what happened to Neal, I made sure to send Chris that card. A lot of times, we aren't lucky enough to get one of those opportunities to tell someone how much they mean. As I've gotten older, I realize those chances are rare. I hope my card made Chris smile. Because even though I'm floored that someone who was so talented and just 33 -- a year older than me -- isn't with us anymore, I am comforted because I got to tell Chris what he meant to me.

May 11th, 2008

121

Worst Song I Ever Heard

Seriously, this is bad. If you're in your office, do not cut up the volume, otherwise security is going to be escorting you out. And, as my girl said when she sent this to me...please tell me people don't really do this.

May 9th, 2008

120

Some Friday Shenanigans

Let me get off a "quick bitch." I bought a new car a year or so ago and have been pretty lazy about selling my old car, a '99 Honda Accord. After months of serious procastination, I finally decided to get off my behind and sell the ride. Found a buyer. He took the car for a spin. Everything was good. Then I realized I didn't have the title. Not sure what I did with it, but since I haven't driven this car in a long while, I'd be just the sort of fool to be lax on a detail like that. No problem, though. Me and Johnny (the buyer) rolled up to the DMV, which is like most DMVs -- the official fifth circle of hell. Of course, I went in there and drew No. 60. They were, naturally, on No. 15. But I lucked up. Somebody left No. 27 in the seat next to me, so everything was gravy. That is...until I ran up against Minerva behind the DMV counter. One thing to know about me, I'm good for giving service personnel completely absurd nicknames. Typically, it's based strictly on their looks. Minerva (not her real name) looked like someone who used to be an extra for that TV show, "Alice." Here I thought teased hair and perms (for white women) stopped being stylish around the tme Who's The Boss got stale. Anyway, I needed a duplicate copy of my title so I could unload the car. But there was a snag: Some years ago I used the Honda has collateral for a loan from a credit union. I paid it off a long time ago, but the credit union still showed as the "lien holder" of my vehicle. This basically meant I had to jump through a few bureaucratic hoops. What started off as a 30-minute trip to the DMV was going to easily become an hour. But I'm thinking, whatever, at least now I can fully use of my garage. Minerva told me I can just have the credit union fax over something that said, yeah, she paid us awhile ago and the car's all hers. Cool. I called the credit union and they said, no problem. We got you. Minerva even said I didn't have to re-pull a number. As soon as she got the fax, it was going to be quick and easy. I was some kind of stupid to believe that. I got everything squared away with the credit union, but I had to wait for Minerva to service this customer. 20 minutes pass. Half-hour goes by. Same customer is still there. 45 MINUTES LATA...Minerva's finally done with her customer. So, at this point, I've spent about an hour and 15 minutes in the DMV. For some people, that's routine. For an impatient person like me...let's just say I would have rather been stricken by 17 papercuts. I mean, seriously, how much stuff can one do at the DMV that would warrant 45 minutes worth of service? Were they getting a new title from Ubekistan? Were they paying property taxes in Istanbul? Were they getting new licenses, changing addresses, registering to vote, and buying brand new plates at the same time? Nothing in there should constitute that long of a wait. But finally, it's me, Minerva and Johnny. I tell Minerva the credit union has faxed over the release of the lien and we should be all good. She goes to check the fax, and comes back with a frown. The fax isn't there. I say, no problem, I'll call and double-check. I make the call right at Minerva's work station and while I'm hold Minerva says, "oh, it doesn't matter anyway, we can't accept a fax copied." What. The. *%^$#@! My first thought: Would pull a hammy if I jumped over this counter and choked Minerva? Second thought: Seriously, how much jail time could I really do for damn near killing somebody? Third thought: Man, I'm glad I haven't gotten my Concealed Weapons Permit Fourth thought: But, I do know a judge in Orlando. I could probably get community service. Fifth thought: Where's my blade? You talk about somebody really screwing your time over? Minerva could have told me they didn't accept faxes oh...TWO HOURS PRIOR! And for that, she is awarded no points and there is part of me that almost hopes she spontaneously catches fire. OK, that was mean. Anyway, there's my Friday. The cool thing is, Johnny still paid for the car. He said I can just mail him the lien release statement. I suppose that's somewhat of a happy ending. It shows we're not a completely distrustful nation. And meeting him was a bright spot because not that many people are that super-patient. Thankfully, we listened to Biggie on the way back to my house. That calmed my nerves.

May 9th, 2008

119

Cedric Benson Shouldn't Be Discounted

So who do you believe -- Cedric Benson,the Lake Travis police, or Benson's friend? I'll tell you who I believe. Racial profiling. When news of Benson's arrest first broke, everyone was quick to assume that Benson was at fault. Even after Benson gave his own account of overzealous police trying to humilate him, most people in the media still believed Benson was full of it. But days later, after a white woman has corroborated Benson's story, now everyone is beginning to take Benson's claims seriously. Interesting. As soon as I heard Benson give his version of what happened on Lake Travis, I knew this wasn't a case where a professional athlete was simply out of control. Here you have a wealthy, black, professional athlete on an expensive boat that's full of white girls and a bunch of seemingly unprofessional police officers. Sounds like a recipe for trouble to me. his is again one of those cases that highlight the two Americas, and also the differing perspectives between whites and blacks. When I first heard about the contrasting stories between Benson and police, I immediately believed Benson. Sure, I could be wrong. Yes, professional athletes lie. Yes, they do whatever they can to cover their own hide. But this didn't strike me as that kind of situation. If anything, we should have been more inclined to believe Benson because of what we just saw with Sean Bell. Considering the poor relationship the police have with African Americans and the numerous cases of racial profiling, no one should be surprised that Bell is possibly a victim. It doesn't matter if some of the officers who arrested and detained Benson were black -- just as it didn't matter that some of the detectives that killed also were black. One of the tenets of the institutional racism in this country is the underlying belief that black life isn't important. That's a belief held by whites and blacks alike. Remember those scenes involving the cops in the movie Boyz N The Hood? Laurence Fishburne, aka Furious Styles, calls the police because a robber has broken into his house. A black cop and a white cop show up at Furious' house and instead of investigating the crime, the black officer sweats Furious about protecting his own home, chooses not to pursue the criminal and then says that Furious should have shot him so he'd have "one less nigga" to deal with. Later, that same angry, over-aggressive black police officer pulls over Tre (Cuba Gooding) and humilates him, even though Tre has just escaped having his life taken. It was a dramatization, but not that far from the truth. Study after study has shown that law enforcement is more aggressive with black people than anyone else. As evidence, we have Rodney King, Amadou Diallo, Bell, and countless others. This is why, in black neighborhoods, citizens would rather keep quiet about criminal activity than trust the police to protect them. Sometimes, the police, like they may have done Benson, prove they are no different than the average criminal.

May 8th, 2008

118

Why I Wrote About Malone

Today I tackled a tough subject -- the son Karl Malone refuses to claim. There was a particular reason this story struck a chord with me. As you know, lots of professional athletes have abandoned their children, quietly paying out-of-court settlements so they don't have to "bother" raising their own children. But reading about Demetrius Bell, the son Malone has never claimed, was a must-do column for me because of my own background. My father was not a presence in my life growing up, either. And it wasn't until later on in my life that he and I began our relationship. I connected with Bell's indifference toward his superstar father because I felt that way toward my Dad for many years. I was very angry at him, especially after he had other children. He lived with their mother for some time and I felt cheated because they got an every day Dad and I didn't. It took maturity, growth and me letting go of my resentment to understand how to deal with things. It's funny, but the older you get, the more you can see the faults and shortcomings that your parents have. My father battled drug addiction for many years and as long as that demon was prevalent in his life, he was unable to be my father. As a kid, you don't understand that. All you know is Daddy's not there. To some degree, you never truly get over that disappointment and not having my father for all of my childhood certainly impacted how I dealt with other people. I've interviewed Malone a couple of times in my career, but I hardly know the man. Still, it's hard to have any respect for someone who purposely denies their own child. I knew that among African Americans the number of fatherless homes was high, but I had no dea that number was 70 PERCENT! That's why there isn't any doubt the biggest problem affecting black folks is the breakdown of the family unit, which undoubtedly has been aided by America's faulty war on drugs. My father's drug addiction isn't an excuse, but at least he had a reason for not being around. What's Malone's excuse? That he's embarrassed? Sorry, but that's not a good enough reason not to be a father. He has every possible resource in the world to be a good parent, and for Malone to choose to be a deadbeat Dad is practically unforgivable. I'm happy now that my Dad and I have a relationship and he's someone I trust. It took some painful moments for us to get here, but I couldn't imagine life without him. It's too bad Malone feels like he's better off without his son.

May 7th, 2008

117

Explain This Like I'm 2

Am I the only one confused about this Marvin Harrison situation? So far, this seems to be the deal: Harrison gets into a fistfight with an unidentified man at his Phildelphia bar. That man returns to the bar, and Harrison escorts him outside. Next thing you know, the victim and another unidentified person are both shot. Police have collected shell casings that come from Harrison's gun, interview him for four hours, and so far...no arrests. This is flat-out strange. Harrison is a registered gun owner, so there's no beef there. And if this guy returned to Harrison's bar looking for trouble, wouldn't this be a simple case of self defense? You'd think so. But that's why I'm starting to believe that this wasn't about Harrison protecting himself, and more about him trying to prove a point. I know. It's a fine line. We don't know what this scrap between Harrison and the unidentified man was about, but we do know that only one gun has been recovered -- and it's Harrison's. And by the way, it's a pretty damn ridiculous gun. A Belgian, custom-made weapon that can pierce Kevlar? Does Harrison think he's Jason Bourne? Because of this incident, it's once again being brought up that athletes and guns don't mix. I agree and disagree. Irresponsible athletes and guns don't mix, but I don't think it's fair to say everyone in society has the right to have a weapon, except athletes. Particularly when they're more at risk than the average person. As long as players are safe and responsible with their weapons, I have no problems with them owning guns. A great number of Americans have shotguns in their homes for protection. Others carry concealed weapons. How can we deny a certain segment of the population the right to protect themselves? I used to be vehemently against guns before I took a NRA-sponsored pistol training course. The more I learned about them, the more I respected what they can do. If pro leagues want to prevent players from acting irresponsibly with their weapons -- and we have to remember that all American citizens (minus felons) have the right to bear arms -- they should bring in the NRA during training camps and have them safely instruct players on gun usage. If they begin to understand the power of the weapons they carry -- particularly those who develop a gun fascination because they're influenced easily by pop culture -- then they will be less likely to use them so casually.

May 6th, 2008

116

On Race And Blogs

It's not often that you come across racial commentary that advances the conversation, but Will Leitch of Deadspin successfully achieves that with this blog. Will wrote the blog in response to two things -- a Jason Whitlock column that called Deadspin out for racial biases and Bob Costas' HBO town hall meeting on sports and the media, which also included a segment on race. Will wrote: "We were talking to Bomani Jones, who's very good at this writing business, the other day about the racist comments that inevitably pop up on any open forum, message board or comment thread. The most memorable instance of this, around these parts, was when Stephen A. Smith's site's launched, though, honestly, we think if you put a picture of a puppy as a blog post on a general AOL or Yahoo site, the n-word would come out by comment 20. Bomani was concerned it was indicative of a growing "angry white man" movement in the culture, reflected by the Web. We weren't so sure; we think it's more the nasty fringe element, bigots empowered by anonymity. But we would think that, wouldn't we? We easily dismiss such comments as idiotic, the unfortunate byproduct of open forums, and move about our day. But that's our perspective. And that perspective, like all perspectives, as wrong as the next person's. It's easy for us to say that." I know Will. I like Will and I'm elated he acknowledged something powerful -- that the inherit skin privilege of being white sometimes clouds his perspective and makes him unable to see how his actions might be interpreted along racial lines. I've said this many times and each time I do, people look at me like I'm crazy. Most white people don't see color. That's not a rip. That's really truth. How can you see color when color is never a factor in your life? To white people, Sean Bell is an exception. To black people, it's the rule. When you have such differing perspectives, it's no wonder that racial conversations rarely advance. My boss, Rob King, the editor-in-chief of ESPN.com, said something very profound a few weeks ago when we were at the Poytner Sports Media Summit. He said the problem with discussing race is that everybody wants to be the smartest person in the room. We all want to show how much we know, prove that we aren't racist, and in our ego-filled ignorance, we wind up shutting many racial conversations down without realizing it. I'll be the first to admit that I have biases and prejudices. It takes a daily, consistent effort to mete those out. As a black woman, I'm just as suffocated by race as the rest of us are. I'm just as capable of not giving someone the benefit of the doubt, of reading too much into an agenda, or dismissing a perspective. I'm certain race has and does influence my behavior in ways I probably haven't thought of. So when I hear people say that they "don't see color," it disappoints me. Because by saying that, you are officially closing the door to learning more about different perspectives. You are saying, I've learned all I need to and I'm not learning any more. You've got to be stupider than that. Please.

May 6th, 2008

115

This Repulses Me

Ever been around that super-annoying couple that kissy-wissies all the time, snuggles and is so vomit-affectionate that it makes you want to drive a fork right through their temples? OK, maybe it's just me. Seriously, though, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are becoming that annoying couple, the one that makes out everywhere and instead of celebrating their love, they sort of throw it in your face. Hey, I'm all for love. I love-love. I'm in love. But this makes me gag. OK, Tony and Jessica, we get it. You really, really love each other. Tony is living every man's dream. He became a star, and then he got a star girlfriend. Sure, how they hooked up set off the gold-digger radar. Jessica was having some...how shall we put this delicately...some career issues? Tony mentions to a couple people how he's got a crush on her and WALL-AH!...Love. We've seen her licking birthday cake off his face. There was some report out there about how he supported her through rehab. They went to Cabo together. She cost him a NFC title. I'm sure they leave hickeys on each other and I betcha she writes "Jessica Romo" on her Trapper Keeper. We get it..you love each other. But her making a song for him? Nauseating. Worse, Jessica apparently recently described Romo as her "future husband." That sound you heard was me, wretching. Look, if I'm Romo, and I'm still getting the feel for all that money that Jerry Jones just gave me, I'm putting Jessica on the roster, but not making her a starter. I realize I'm being cynical and this post is the product of seeing so many athletes over the years make fatal relationship mistakes, but if you're Romo, you can't allow yourself to get locked up this quickly and deeply. Take a page from George Clooney, who by my calculations was Pimp of the Year three or four years in a row. Clooney has vowed to never get married. He keeps a lovely babe on his arm at all times. He plays the field and understands the game. I'm certainly not against marriage. I love marriage. But you make yourself marriage ready by living life for a little bit. That way, once you do lock it down, you don't feel as if you're missing out. I don't know Romo, but he always struck me as the dude likely to get caught up. Besides, I wonder, if Jessica gets a new reality show, a top-10 hit, or movie, will she still love Romo tomorrow?

May 5th, 2008

111

Sunday Readin'

A